DEPRESSED N HELPLESS

I woke up from my nap... staring at the wall in the dark... mosquitoes swarming all over me... Nightmares... I remember I have nightmares, nightmares about the kids... After staring blankly for around 10 minutes, I stood up, and switched on the lights... Walk lifelessly to the dining table to have my dinner... I stuffed all the food into my mouth, yet I tasted nothing... Upstairs, my bro was singing loudly, praising God... While I continue to stuff all the food in my mouth, losing my grip on sanity...

Y? Y did I agree on spending my holidays to teach at a primary school? Y won't the children listen to me? Y can't they just shut their mouth when I am teaching? Y must I be fierce when I know I'm only pretending to be? I hate to be pretentious, and yet I must... Yet I can't do it... And I'm falling apart... torn apart...

... ... ... Never in my whole life have I felt so frustrated, depressed and helpless before... Never... I felt like quitting already... Even when today was my second day of teaching... ... ... I WANNA QUIT!!!!!!!!!!!