STEAMING

Thank God that I can access blogger now. I'm so mad that I can't focus on my studies at all. In fact, my still quite shaken and boiling with anger now.

Since ages ago, I've always been an object of ridicule and tease. I dun mind ppl doing that to me if it makes them happy. I've tried to be more serious and stuff like that, but it juz dun work on me... Heck, it's juz not me! But there exists a limit on how far one can stands before one can't tolerate any more. U know, "ENOUGH, S***HEADS!!!" But sadly, some ppl juz can't see my transition from "let's have fun" to "that's enuf dude, f off".

Impressively, I've done quite well in containing my anger juz now... Except that I can't stand the temptation to put some salt at EV's head juz now... Then again, my 1st intention was far worse than that. The only reasons that I keep my anger to myself was:

1. Having my revenge on others certainly dun glorify God, though sad to say I dun fully constraint myself then and there... The salts were all over the table... Funny that I still dun feel any regret now... In fact, I'm kinda disappointed that I dun cause more trouble... Sheesh, hope this anger will dissipate soon.

2. It's quite preceivable for all the people in Food Avenue to see that we were a bunch of a Christians there, enjoying our dinner and fellowship together after a CF meeting. I dun mind if my actions ruin my image or reputation or anything, but I musntn't bring any of those to my fellow brothers and sisters... Espeacially when the world can be so critical when it comes to Christians...

3. As much as I dun care for my personal image, I'm aware (barely) that all the foolish plans I have in my head then will only bring more harm than good to me. There's certainly little chance for me to recover my dignity and self-respect if I do all the crazy stuff I was tempted to do then, espeacially now that I'm a medical student. But thank God that I am wise enough to see that and stop it from becoming a reality.

Phew... Now that I've let out some of my steam, I do feel better. Hope that I'll be able to control myself better during my next "murderous rage attacks". Then again, it's better if I won't get stuck in this type of emotional turmoil in the future. I'm seriously not confident that I can bottle up my anger so well all the time... Sheesh why are people so blind towards anger sometimes... >=(

Now let's hope I can calm myself enough to study my GI notes... I'm juz too far behind...