"Leading" (I dun do much actually) the sem 1 students thru CG on "Life in IMU" makes me a little envious of them... The young, carefree faces of these juniors make me feel old after studying juz slightly more than one year here in IMU Bukit Jalil. There's something about me that is permanently altered or lost after going thru (and surviving) semester 3, but I juz can't really pinpoint what it is exactly.

Going thru Sem 3 and EOS 3 is as if I've seen hell, live in one, and walked thru it, and emerged from it, not victoriously, but still alive (thank God). The entire experience was traumatic, to say the least, and extremely stressful bcuz failure is not juz possible, it is almost probable. I nv knew how much knowledge that we are expected to know by heart and how impossible it is for me to grasp every single one of them. The harder I try to cling on all the information, the more it seems that they're slipping away from me. Q and A sessions become scary and stress-inducing, when I realize how much stuff that I've studied juz the week b4 if lost in the sea of information that I've drown myself in. To have pass the exam doesn't feel exhilarating at all (unlike EOS1), merely relieved.

Looking at the Sem 1 & 2 juniors know who are oblivious of the trials and hardships that are awaiting them not so far into the future, I envy their "innocence" and gaiety. Seeing how the Sem 3 students started to reacts towards the impending doom that awaits them a few months in the future makes me feel pity for them...

Well, I guess this is something that all med students in IMU have to go thru... Let's hope it's for the best... But sometimes I really miss the carefree me from the past, before the traumatic sem 3 days...

Wonder will I ever be the same again...