Monday, March 27, 2006


To attempt to fix something and risk conflict, or to ignore them and hope for the best?

That is the question...

I chose the former.

Is that the right choice?

My conscience says it is.

But who can rule out any mistakes in this case?

Nevertheless, I've did wat I've did with the very best intentions. And that's sufficient justification for me.

Whatever be from now on, will be.

Thursday, March 16, 2006


Can one sincerely believes in something, and yet at the same time be open-minded to other beliefs? Can one, for example, firmly believes that the world is round, and yet the same time, accept the fact that what others say bout the world being flat can be true? Won't that only shows how little faith he has in his beliefs, and how he can't make a stand on an issue?

Once cannot claimed to have a firm perception of the world while at the same time be open-minded that what others say can be true. Open-mindedness may very well be the primary symptom of uncertainty and doubt of one own's view of the world, and it also display publicly of one's lack of confidence of himself.

Perhaps 'tolerance' is a better word to replace 'open-mindedness', for the only way one can be open-minded is to have absolutely no or weak beliefs of his own.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

What is Truth?

We're all living in denial, but everybody refused to accept that (and thus, Denial!). Doublethink is not a fictional Orwellian word, it's happening to everybody. We've all been selectively believing in wat we want to believe to be true, and selectively rejecting the rest. And yet we all claim that we have Truth in our hands, objective truth, when the truth is all of our standards of truth are made in subjective terms, influenced by our personal experience, may it be interpreted as accidental or divine.

"What is truth?" Pontius Pilate asked. We all should be asking the same questions ourselves. Cuz none of us seems to have the answer. The best answer I can think of is "Jesus is truth", but honestly, wat exactly does that mean? And why didn't Jesus reply Pilate then, when faced with such a question?

What is Truth? Why has the answer been so elusive all this while? Or perhaps there never was, never is, and never will be, an answer? That truth is however we choose to view the world, whatever we choose to define the meaning/ purpose of our existense? That truth can only be understood from within, shaped by the lived experiences of reality as each individual defined them, in their own respective manner?

That truth is subjectivity? Or perhaps there never is truth in this world, but only in the one beyond? Then all search of truth in this world will amount to nothing, and only a leap of faith brings a solution to this dilemma? A decision made, based not upon rational thoughts or analysis, but upon surrendering our trust to the highest Being, and believe, without adequate or substancial evidence or understanding of any kind?

Is Faith the answer to Truth then? Or at least, the path that will one day leads us to Truth itself... whatever it is?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Unplayed Piano

Unplayed Piano, a charity song by Damien Rice (featuring Lisa Hannigan), contributed for a human rights campaign to free Burmese leader Aung San Suu Kyi.

Come and see me
Sing me to sleep
Come and free me
Hold me if i need to weep

Maybe it's not the season
Maybe it's not the year
Maybe there's no good reason
Why i'm locked up inside
Just cause they wanna hide me

The moon goes bright
The darker they make my night

Unplayed pianos
Are often by a window
In a room where nobody loved goes
She sits alone with her silent song
Somebody bring her home

Unplayed piano
Still holds a tune
Lock on the lid
In a stale, stale room

Maybe it's not that easy
Or maybe it's not that hard
Maybe they could release me
Let the people decide
I've got nothing to hide

I've done nothing wrong
So why have i been here so long?

(Chorus x2)

Unplayed piano
Still holds a tune
Years pass by
In the changing of the moon

The mood of the song and the lyrics do create an image of Aung San Suu Kyi in my head, sitting alone in the dark near the window, beside an unplayed piano, and the moonlight shining pass the window to show a silhouette of her: incredibly lonely and longing to be let out...

She's one incredible woman...

"It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it."

- Aung San Suu Kyi

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Emotions Shroud Everything

Note to self: Emotions shroud hindsight and foresight. Emotions tend to surround you on all sides, so much so that you become blind to the past and the future, and merely scrutinizing the present you're in. Whether it's a joyous event, or a horrible tragedy, or juz an awful mess, the same rule applies: Emotions can trap you in the present.

I often feel overwhelmed when I'm going thru a whole lot of emotions within me, and it's definitely worse when they're negative. When anger stirs, everything about the particular guy is perceived as evil, annoying, awful, or at least, inferior to the self. When boredom strikes, everything seems dull and lifeless, and there seemed to be no way to squeeze out the fun around me.

But the worst of all negative emotions (at least to me) is despair. And sadly, it's one that I'm becoming rather familiar with. Everything appears bleak, every way out seems to be blocked, and shadows lie on every corner from my sight. However, all these are, usually, hardly the facts: they're merely my perception, which coloured my interpretation inside my head; just like how Dorothy and her friends thought everything in Emerald City are really green when in fact that's only bcuz they're seeing everything thru the green-tinted eyeglasses they're wearing. Reality is rarely as bad as a pessimist views it, and as good as an optimist inteprets. Reality is (most of the time) constant, while our emotions colour the interpretation.

Having said that, even with the knowledge of such phenomenon, it is hard to see truth thru the illusion coloured by our emotions. If we really think about it, things probably aren't as bad as we think (I'm focusing more on the negative side here), but the emotion stubbornly shrouds our view of the Big Picture. It requires a strong discipline, or perhaps a deep faith (or are they overlapped?), to conquer our emotions and perceive truth as it is, or at the very least, believe that the truth is not as we feel it to be.

We all know about this already bcuz when we look back at things after the storm is over, we realize that the situation was never that bad after all, but somehow, our vision that cuts thru time tends to easily get obstructed by our emotions. There never really is a "light at the end of the tunnel", bcuz the tunnel never existed! And the light has always been there!

* * * * * * * *

I looked back at my previous posts a year ago, and I'm surprised to find this entry which I've posted about a year ago, at March 13th, 2005. I find that it kinda fits with my current post, so I decided to repost it here:

"This too will pass.”

I was taught these words by my grandmother as a phrase that is to be used at all times in your life. When things are spectacularly dreadful, when things are absolutely apalling; when everything is superb and wonderful and marvellous and happy-say these four words to yourself.

They will give you a sense of perspective and help you also to make the most of what is good and stoical about what is bad.

- Claire Rayner