Friday, February 25, 2005


Attention to all IMU students!!!

The IMU Campus Forum is up! Go check it out and sign up! ;)

All bloggers pls help promoting this forum in ur blog! Thx a million!

Thursday, February 24, 2005


The breath of the morning
I keep forgetting.
The smell of the warm summer air.

I live in a town
where you can't smell a thing,
you watch your feet
for cracks in the pavement.

Up above
aliens hover
making home movies
for the folks back home,

of all these weird creatures
who lock up their spirits,
drill holes in themselves
and live for their secrets.

They're all uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight.

I wish that they'd sweep down in a country lane,
late at night when I'm driving.
Take me on board their beautiful ship,
show me the world as I'd love to see it.

I'd tell all my friends but they'd never believe me,
They'd think that I'd finally lost it completely.
I'd show them the stars and the meaning of life.
They'd shut me away.
But I'd be alright, alright,
I'd be alright,
I'm alright.

I'm just uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight,
uptight, uptight,

Subterranean Homesick Alien, by Radiohead. Of all songs that I listen to, this is probably the one I can best relate to. The overwhelming sense of alienation, the longing to show others what they have missed for their whole life, the despair that results from rejection, the self comfort (arguably self-deception) that "it's OK" after all the frustration, and the need for escapism from the mundane world we live in...

The usage of aliens in the song are rather creative, in my opinion. It's quite amusing to picture a bunch of UFO flying close to the surface of Earth, filming home videos for their "folks back home" of the weird species who hides their secrets eventhough the secrets are slowly killing them inside.

The part that I felt most involved in the whole song is when Thom Yorke start singing the "I'd tell all my friends but they'd never believe me..." part. There is so much passion in the way he sings it, as if he's desperate for someone who could see the world the way he sees it. And the most saddening part would have to be after "I'd show them the stars and the meaning of life...". The sinking feeling that comes after that defines the very theme of the song: alienation. Quite fitting dun u think? A songs about aliens dealing with alienation...

Then comes the sweeping chorus. The rich, lush, epic e-guitar soundscape, swirling, rolling, falling, while Thom Yorke convince himself that "I'll be alright...". U can almost hear the sarcasm in his voice, as if he's disgusted about the futility of his self comfort. And when he sings "I'm juz uptight", his soundscape at the back almost threaten to sweep his presence away. It's really wonderful to listen to that beautiful sweeping soundscape, but the loneliness of his voice can be noticed easily. It's as if he lived in his own wonderful fantastical world, but is nv ecstatic or happy about it bcuz he's the only one dwelling in it...

Sometimes I can't help but wonder... When till I can find another inhabitant in my own world?? I've been searching for one for the longest time, but somehow I juz can't find any...

Monday, February 21, 2005


An interviewer interviewed God.

Interviewer: What are a billion years to you?

God: A split second.

Interviewer: What are a billion dollars for you?

God: Just a penny.

Interviewer: Well, then can you give me a penny?

God: Sure, just wait a second!

Thursday, February 17, 2005


One look at the slogan of the movie and u've surely raised your eyebrow, right? I've watched the trailer for the movie a long time ago, and it caught my attention straight away (click here for the trailer). Finally, something that deals with human sexuality with an honest and direct approach, unrestrained by politeness and such. It's about time. Come on, don't all of us have questions about sex but nv seemed to have the courage to ask them aloud due to all the taboo surrounding it? It's funny how society thinks that by making sex a taboo, this can actually suppressed unwanted sexual acts and such when in reality, these are happening everywhere while people juz pretend to be ignorant about it.

Once, I used to thought that people used to be more decent than nowadays, that sex with minors, homosexuality, masturbation etc are incredibly rare in the past before the 60's "cultural revolution". The movie proved me wrong. The only reason we know more about all these rampant immoral sexual behaviour among us is because we're aware of it now. Dr. Alfred C. Kinsey, the pioneer in human sexual behaviour research, come out with this rather shocking conclusion in his time through countless interviews all over the US.

But I'm going ahead of myself. Let's talk about Alfred C. Kinsey. Originally a biologist studying gall wasps, he later began his research on human sexual behaviour. Realising that no one can say whether a sexual behaviour is normal or abnormal since there never was a study on human sexuality in the past, he began to gather infomation by interviewing thousands of ppl, and later on in his research, using rather immoral methods, such as encouraging his research staff to have sex with each other's wife etc (He argues that infomation in science is gathered through observation). As quoted by his biographer:

Kinsey felt he could only study [sex] by stripping away all but its physiological functions, first removing moral judgments, second, even harder, emotions and feelings. For both he was ideally equipped psychologically and for both he was savagely criticized.

At first, his research is funded by the Rockefeller Foundation, and his 1st book, Sexual Behaviour in the Human Male, was an instant success and he became famous throughout the US. But after the publication of his 2nd book, Sexual Behaviour in the Human Female, he was vehemently criticized by religious bodies as well as conservative groups, and was accused for "insectisizing American womanhood". The fund was withdrawn, and he's finally forced to stop his research.

Of cuz, there are other aspects in the movie that I've not mentioned about, such as Kinsey's conflicted but ever loyal wife, his estrangled relationship with his religious father, and his bisexuality. U could watch the movie if u're interested in knowing all that. Now, some of u might have think that this must be some kind of porn movie or such, but it really isn't. This is how one critic described it: It should be said that Kinsey is not a masturbatory movie. It's broadly sympathetic while maintaining a clinician's conscientious detachment. I find it to be a rather moving biopic and also a rather interesting scientific brief, but this show is definitely not for everyone. For a movie that deals with sex, nudity and sex scenes are unavoidable. But in no way are these scenes gratuitous, they're juz necessary elements for such a movie.

In many ways, I can relate to Dr. Kinsey. It's sad to see how much social restraints are imposed upon him in his research (though some of them are justified, many aren't simply bcuz society is unwilling to accept the truth). That's not to say that I agree with his methods (some of them totally conflicted with my principles and belief), but I understand his frustration when ppl "disguised morality as a fact" (as quoted from the movie). For example, juz bcuz homosexuality is morally wrong doesn't mean it's a rare sexually-deviant behaviour and ppl with these disorder are "less human". It must be brought to light and be dealt with. Inappropriateness shouldn't be an obstacle to bringing turth to the light, for nothing can be solved thru ignorance.

However, it's sad that after the sexual revolution in the 60's, ppl with homosexual tendency are encouraged to be proud of it and accept their sexuality without any hesitation by so called gay-rights group and such. Perhaps if this matter has been dealt with appropriate in an open minded, more gays and lesbians can go thru "rehab" to become normal heterosexuals, or at least abstinence... After years of suppression and persecution, it's easy to understand why once they "liberated" from all these negative treatment, they burst with such freedom they became proud of their (no offense) abnormal nature.

Kinsey is definitely one of the best movie I've watched, and I challenged those with an open mind to watch it and decides for themselves wat they think of human sexuality and society's view towards it. One thing I've learned after watching the movie is how impossible it is to totally exclude morality in our sexual behaviour, as much as Dr. Kinsey tried to do so in order to obtain the appropriate data. It's really tragic to see how such wonderful gift from God has been so twistedly perverted by Man...

One last note on the movie: in one of the scene, it's clear to see the director's own sexual orientation. One of the character thank Kinsey for showing her that homosexuality is not as rare as everyone think it is, and she finally embraced her sexuality. Although I dun believe in persecution of homosexuals, neither do I believe that one should accept their abnormal sexual orientation and, u know, "to hell with morality I'll juz do wat I want so long as me and my partner are happy so mind ur own business" thing. But I guess we can't enforced standards of morality of our beliefs upon others who do not share the same faith as us, eventhough it IS wrong. All we can do is try to help them, and definitely, pray for them.

Monday, February 14, 2005


How would one feel when he has finally settled an issue that has caused much depression to him for the past couple of years? I'm immensely relieved and content now. It's been years since I've been searching for the answer to my question, and now that I've got it, I can't help but wonder... Indeed, I'm ecstatic by the answer... but is that the right answer? Is this how it's supposed to be? Sigh... I guess that's another issue that arised after the last one is solved...

I wonder when till I can get rid of this "thorn in my flesh"... Perhaps it's for the best. That'll teach me humility and dependence on God... if only I can get rid of all my pride that has caused me so much pain. I think I know wat I have to do... but I lack the will, faith, and love to do it... I feel the same as the rich man who walked away sadly when he realized he have to give away all of his wealth to be perfect. Sometimes I juz hated myself for being such a thankless little brat, who's not willing to do so little for God, after all he have did to me... Sigh...

Thursday, February 10, 2005


This year's 初一 (1st day of Chinese New Year) is very different for our family as compared to those we have before all these years. Instead of visiting our relatives, we stayed at home all day long... as host! Actually, I could go around visiting instead of staying at home, but I'm feeling kinda lazy this year... Hehe... Ends up it's actually less tiring visiting relatives everywhere instead of playing host at ur own house!!!

At one time, my parents drove back their factory workers who visited us earlier... Before both my parents came back, different families of my relatives came, one after another. I was able to handle things at first, but when the guest number reached 25, all at my house at the same time, without my parents around chatting with them and such, I started to get really panicky... Heck, I dun even know half of them!!! Wat am I supposed to talk about? So I started walking all over, serving drinks and food and stuff, from the hall to the dining room to the kitchen and back again, occasional stopping by at the front door wondering when will my parents be back!!! Thank God they came back after 30 minutes or so...After staying downstairs for awhile, I "escaped" the crowd by watching The Godfather Part II upstairs in an air-con room. Phew~

Nv knew it's so hard to play host... I opt for visiting instead of playing host for next year's CNY!!!

Wednesday, February 09, 2005


For us who graduated from Chinese schools, the legend behind the celebration of Chinese New Year is well known to all of us. Of course, like all legends, there's always different variation within a legend, and as I search for info about the legend behind CNY in the Net, I'm surprised to find the most consistent variation of the legend is slightly different from the one I know of. Here's the legend behind the celebration of Chinese New Year:

* * * * * * * *

The word Nian, the modern Chinese word for "year," was originally the name of a monster that preyed on people at night before the beginning of a new year. The beast Nian was said to have a large mouth capable of swallowing many people with one bite. The people were afraid and could not find a way to rid themselves of this dreadful beast. One day an old man appeared, offering to subdue Nian. To Nian he said, "I hear that you are very capable, but can you swallow the other beasts of prey on earth instead of the people who are by no means worthy opponents to you?"

So Nian proceeded to swallow as many of the beasts of prey on earth as possible, and soon after the old man, later discovered to be an immortal god, vanished riding the beast Nian. With Nian and the remaining beasts of prey scared into the forest, people began to enjoy life again. However, before leaving the people, the old man had told the people to place red paper decorations on their windows and doors at each year's end to scare Nian away should he ever run loose again, because red is the color the beast feared the most.

From then on, the tradition of observing the conquest of Nian was carried on from generation to generation. The term Guo Nian, which once translated to Survive the Nian today, today means to Celebrate the (New) Year as the word Guo in Chinese means both pass-over and observe. The custom of putting up red paper and lighting fire-crackers to scare away Nian in the case of his return is still around today, though many have long forgotten the origins behind this tradition.

* * * * * * * *

In the version I know of, there isn't any "old man" character, juz that somehow by accident the villagers discovered that Nian is afraid of firecrackers and red papers (I can't remember the details). But otherwise, it's close enough la...

So there u have it guys, the legend behind the celebration of Chinese New Year! Hope u guys find that... er... educational! >=) Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Gong Xi Fa Cai, Hong Pau Na Lai!!! (Translated: Wish you a prosperous new year, now gimme my red packets! Lol...)

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

"Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish yourself to be."
Thomas À Kempis
Thank God... I've finally realize the root of the problem I've been having for the past few months... and possibly the solution to it as well. After all these time... God help me...

Sunday, February 06, 2005


I dun really know wat to feel about this: How would u feel if ppl see u as an oddity, a freak, or an amusement, and nv consider that u're a person as well? I'm really glad if my offbeat persona lighten up someone, but when ppl start to converse with u as if ur whole life juz resolve around some antics... Or that I'm juz a shallow brainless guy saying/doing stupid stuff... It's annoying enough to convince me to scrap off these so called antics.

It's a different thing when it's with friends that I'm close with, since they've already know me somewhat... But I really hate it when it becomes a first and lasting (worse, only) impression ppl have of me when they first me, espeacially when it's not me that shows it, but someone who tell it out. When story or two won't hurt, but one whole strings of "The Weird Adventures of Thomas C.A. Lee" to someone I juz met is... well, degrading at best.

To know that many ppl only see the superficial part of me but totally ignorant about the deeper nature of me really makes me wanna scream... It's as if someone saw a parrot in a cage and is obsessed in all kinds of stupid attempts to make it say "Hello!" instead of admiring its beauty and its yearning to be free. Maybe scrapping that antics behavior is a good idea after all, if it makes ppl see me as who I am, not juz the occasional silly things I perform. Ya, definitely.

Saturday, February 05, 2005


This definitely is the silliest and yet most amusing "test" I've taken for quite awhile. If u have nothing better to do, go give it a try! ;)

I am going to die at 76. When are you? Click here to find out!

Friday, February 04, 2005


Well, it's about time I update my experiences in KKB... But there's juz so much to say, I dunno where to start! So let me try to divide them into points...

1. KKB is a surprisingly cool (small) town
From the way the seniors describe KKB, I was expecting something really ulu and underdeveloped, with the houses in a really dilapidated state and all. I couldn't have been more wrong. It turns out that KKB is actually quite a charming town, and like the chinese proverb 麻雀虽小,五脏齐全 (Although sparrows are small, they are complete with all five senses), the shops around the area are rather well-stocked too, making life very convenient for us all. I guess we shouldn't believe everything the seniors sez after all... Heehee... But there's 1 thing that they've said that's really true: The enviroment there is not very inducive for studies... It felt too much like a vacation! Lol.

2. Medicine is learned by the bedside and not in the classroom (Sir William Osler)
I've been briefed that this KKB trip will be really educational to us, but I nv thought it's so effective... I love everything about bedside teaching, espeacially the case presenting part... It's really interesting to know wat diseases the patients are suffering from and what has been done to treat them, as well as their family background and personal history. But I guess I have to practise more on my social skills though... I dun really built rapport well with the patients I have!

3. Effective communication is vital in medical practice
One of the best way to build rapport with the patient is to speak the language or dialect he or she knows best. I'm having quite a lot of problems in my history taking bcuz I can't speak BM fluently, and I know won't do much better if the patients only speaks Cantonese either. Seeing Dr. Lim conversing effortlessly in Tamil was quite a sight. About time to learn some dialects and maybe other languages as well Thom! ;)

4. There's still a lot that I've yet to know...
Which is why I have to stop blogging now and finally start my long overdued studies. Can't believe that EOS 3 is juz about 20 weeks ahead! Yikes!

Thursday, February 03, 2005


Have anyone ever admire the creativity and art of album cover design? I for one do. Of all the artists I listened to, Bjork won my vote for best covers design throughout her solo career. I've arranged them according to order of release: Debut, Post, Homogenic, Selmasongs, Vespertine, and Medulla. Have a look!

My favourite would be the third one, Homogenic. She juz look so... inhuman there, with her oversized kimono, "stretched face", mickey mouse hairdo and those long nails, not to mention the "neckwear"! Love the creativity! ;) The "hair-mask" of Medulla is really cool too, along with the oh-so-colourful Post! It's interesting how each images actually kinda symbolises the different types of songs in the different albums, and how much she has evolve thru time.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


I was reading my book when my brother entered my room with a pail in his hand. "Be careful, our house isn't as safe as we think it is. Take a look." Expecting a frog or something, I looked into a pail... and I saw a snake! Man I was shocked! It's about 20 cm long and 1 cm wide, black with some red patterns around it. Dad sez it's some kind of python, and it's caught juz outside my grandma's room.

My 1st thought is to kill it, since I'm not sure how deadly exactly is the snake. My dad kinda took pity on the snake though, saying it's harmless and such... Since we can't decide wat to do with it, we juz leave the pail with the snake within outside our house for now... We'll deal with it tomorrow.

I wonder where the mother is...