Friday, October 31, 2003


Can't sleep last nite... Stomach cramp! Felt like as if all the intestines inside my body have became living snakes, twirling around and tightening themselves into a clamp! Oh the awful pain! Went to see the doctor this morning and got my medication... Hopefully it'll be over in a couple of days! Reached college at 10.30 am, and went to 3rd period Econ class instead...

It was during this period when my handphone vibrates... Normally I'll shut it at once and focus on the lessons... But thank God it's otherwise this time... It's a call from IMU!!! They ask if they can interview me at the 6th of November, 10 am... Next Wednesday! Wow, so early! Great! I was thinking that I'll confirm with them later, but they want me to say yes or no at once... So YES it is! Ooho! Hopefully I can enter the uni and get the affirmation letter b4 mid-December!

And now I'm kinda nervous bout the interview... Heard that it's 3 interviewers to 1... Hmmmm... <=(


Nv thought that the MUET would take THE ENTIRE DAY!! The schedule if 8 to 10 for Reading Comprehension, 10.30 to 12 for Writing, and 12.30 to 1 for Listening... Well, the Reading Comprehension is really a piece of cake, and I left early to go for my econs class... Dowan to be "left behind" in my lessons... Then comes writing, wish I know I dun do well... It's such a long time since I wrote any essay for English test... Luckily that component only consist of 75 marks out of 300. Hopefully the Reading Comprehension part will pull my marks up (135 marks out of 300!). Lastly is the listening component. There are 3 parts in it, and my, the 3rd part is hilarious!!!

It's an interview of a police officer from a radio station DJ... The police officer actually recommend everyone to check around, inside and even UNDER one's car b4 he or she get into it! Imagine, girlslying down on the ground in their mini skirts looking under their car... Dang exxagerating n stupid la... N there's even funnier stuff... When someone waltz into ur car, point a knife at u, and command u to drive somewhere, what should u do? According to that officer, u should CRASH UR CAR!!! Talk about suicide! Hahahaha... Well, he did say drive slowly n crash, but it's hilarious... N if he's the one driving, poke him in the eyes when he's not aware! Then jump off the car! Hahahahaha... N if u're followed by a stalker in a dark alley, run around an obstacle like a car! Idiotic la... Lol...

Well, so ends MUET... I'm quite confident I can get a band 5 to enter IMU, but I do hope that I can get Band 6... We'll see 1st la...

Wednesday, October 29, 2003


I really enjoyed the Rurouni Kenshin: Remembrance DVD I bought ealier, but one of the major problem I have is insufficient historical knowledge of the Tokugawa Period in Japan... There are the Chonshu Clan, the Shinsengumi, the Kihei Tai, the Niwaban-shu, and the burning of Kyoto... So I'm kinda confused in the end...

Luckily, I've found this site which is really helpful in explaining all the clans and groups and historical accounts that confuse me... So in the end, I learn some stuff on Japan's history... Funny, nv thought an anime can be so... educational! >=)


Learn 2 new slang English words today... Interesting discovery indeed. One of them I will not mention here, since the people I discuss the meaning of the slang with find it... obscene... Ayway, it's a word from Silence of the Lambs, from a line from Miggs... "I can smell your ****"... Funny that they all seemed to know the meaning of the word very well while I have not a single clue... Hmmmm... Must be since I came from a Chinese-speaking enviroment and community...

Next is emo... Heard of that word loads of time b4, but I have no idea wat that is, until TJ enlighten me that is... It's a short form of emotion, and it's a music genre which is defined by the emotion-filled voice... Exactly the kind of music I like! So that's new word #2! Hehe

I'm kinda addicted to the Took Talk forum now... It's so interesting to discuss LoTR with fellow fans... In fact, I'll check now if there'a any replies to my post! >=)

Tuesday, October 28, 2003


Yea! I've found a great forum yesterday... It's all on The Lord of the Rings! It's called Took Talk, (a rather amusing name if u read the book and understand a Took's personality... btw, Took is one of the clan of hobbits, kinda like a surname). Click here to check it out! Oh how I luv discussion on interesting literature, espeacially LoTR!

There's also this site which is really hilarious... It consists of "secret diaries" of all the Fellowship members and other LoTR characters as well... Really funny, but be warned! Some of u may be offended but its... er... obscene references... Heheh... But it really is funny! Click here to check it out!

Monday, October 27, 2003


Wat a day... Starts up at 5.50 am... Need to have at least 1200 words for my Economics ISU essay, but I only reached 772 words... Pray to God dearly yesterday and this morning that I may be able to complete it, and I'm quite calm all the time, cuz I know God will always make a way! >=) Oh thank you God for making me finish the essay in time!

The 1st thing I know of when I woke up from my sleep is a new point for my essay, as if God has inserted in into my head... I know that sounds ridiculous, but it truly happens! I juz woke up and 'bang!' there's a new point for my essay that I desperately needed... To think that I've spent the whole night yesterday struglling to think of a point... Heheh, God really works in mysterious ways...

Got my last econs test paper during econs class... It was shockingly bad, but not unexpected... Mr. Kuah has changed the test format to prepare us for the finals... I only got 41 out of 50... Bad bad... All my past tests results were like between 46 to 49... Never have I ever imagined that I'll get below 45... It damages my beautiful average mark... permanently... Sigh, guess I gotta push to my limits for Econs from now onwards... Perhaps even beyond... Gotta catch up those lost marks...

Then came Biology lab... I was rushing like a madman, desperate for answers... Frankly, I think the post lab questions are stupid, for it is more of a logical thinking kind then knowledge based... There's no answer watsoever that can be found in the books, so u gotta use ur logical thinking skills... Sucky... I never like to answer questions in which I have no confidence in getting them rite... Anyway, I managed to finished it 5 minutes b4 my next class, and then finish up my lunch in 5 minutes or so to rush back to college n class... Amazing that I made it in time, eh?

Then as usual, there's the Biology tests discussion with Kausar... Apparently most students dun do well in this test, n Mrs Joanne may adjust the marks. And so I have a mental praparation to expect low marks for my Bio test, juz like my econs... Turns out my pessimism is unfounded. I did quite decently in my test, 25 out of 28... Nothing great, but not bad either. So thank God for that! It's quite a relief not to have 2 blows for my tests in a day!

I found up I've been losing my edge lately... Growing lazy, and losing the competitive mood... Must have been due to my achievement for the mid-term... I'm really proud of getting no. 5 in my mid term, n I praise God for that... But somehow the overbearing sense of achievement cause me to lose my motivation to push forward... It's like... there's not much room for me to improve anymore... So I guess I'll juz chill for the time being, and regain my momentum again a few weeks later, juz to crash headlong for the finals... Not a bad plan! >=)


Juz watched the Matrix Reloaded in pirated VCD recently... and I still can't grasp everything The Architect sez after watching it for the 2nd time... Thank goodness I've found this Architect transcript in the net... Here goes...

The Architect - Hello, Neo.

Neo - Who are you?

The Architect - I am the Architect. I created the matrix. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.

Neo - Why am I here?

The Architect - Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here.

Neo - You haven't answered my question.

The Architect - Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.

*The responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "Others? What others? How many? Answer me!"*

The Architect - The matrix is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the sixth version.

*Again, the responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "Five versions? Three? I've been lied too. This is bullshit."*

Neo: There are only two possible explanations: either no one told me, or no one knows.

The Architect - Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly's systemic, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.

*Once again, the responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "You can't control me! F*ck you! I'm going to kill you! You can't make me do anything!*

Neo - Choice. The problem is choice.

*The scene cuts to Trinity fighting an agent, and then back to the Architect's room*

The Architect - The first matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equaled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is as apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being, thus I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus, the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the matrix, she would undoubtedly be its mother.

Neo - The Oracle.

The Architect - Please. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99.9% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo, those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probability of disaster.

Neo - This is about Zion.

The Architect - You are here because Zion is about to be destroyed. Its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existence eradicated.

Neo - Bullshit.

*The responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "Bullshit!"*

The Architect - Denial is the most predictable of all human responses. But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.

*Scene cuts to Trinity fighting an agent, and then back to the Architects room.*

The Architect - The function of the One is now to return to the source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program. After which you will be required to select from the matrix 23 individuals, 16 female, 7 male, to rebuild Zion. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash killing everyone connected to the matrix, which coupled with the extermination of Zion will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.

Neo - You won't let it happen, you can't. You need human beings to survive.

The Architect - There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility for the death of every human being in this world.

*The Architect presses a button on a pen that he is holding, and images of people from all over the matrix appear on the monitors*

The Architect - It is interesting reading your reactions. Your five predecessors were by design based on a similar predication, a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the one. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific. Vis-a-vis, love.

*Images of Trinity fighting the agent from Neo's dream appear on the monitors*

Neo - Trinity.

The Architect - Apropos, she entered the matrix to save your life at the cost of her own.

Neo - No!

The Architect - Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning, and end. There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the source, and the salvation of Zion. The door to the left leads back to the matrix, to her, and to the end of your species. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you're going to do, don't we? Already I can see the chain reaction, the chemical precursors that signal the onset of emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic, and reason. An emotion that is already blinding you from the simple, and obvious truth: she is going to die, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it.

*Neo walks to the door on his left*

The Architect - Humph. Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness.

Neo - If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again.

The Architect - We won't.

After dissecting the whole dialogue, I'm kinda disappointed... It sounds so cool when I'm watching the movie and hearing the Architect spoke all that... It's hardly understandable then, which is why I guess it sounds cool... But now that I have read the transcript, it's actually very simplistic... Juz that they phrase it in flowery words... Yet quite an interesting read nonetheless...

Can't wait for November 5th, the day The Matrix Revolution is out in M'sia... AAAAHHHH!!! >=)

Sunday, October 26, 2003


Mum bought a DVD player! And damn fast 2!! I mean, we juz went in there, ask for a DVD player, ask some usual stuff, and wham, we bought it!! Perhaps it's not very surprising for others, but for me who scrutinize every single detail on stuff I wanna buy, it's juz too fast to be believable... Perhaps one reason is bcos the shopowner is an ex-classmate of my mum, so I found it easier to trust him. We could have easily bring the player there to be fixed by him too!

But the one thing that distubs me at first is the brand of that player... Khind! Well, my uncle is the owner of the company, and we've bought loads of electronic appliances from them b4... They're not of the... highest quality... Tend to break down rather easily... But that's the cheapest model there, RM 280 (after discount)... The other was Toshiba with a price tag of RM 400+... Sigh... well, guess it's good enuf... We can always let the guy fix it...

Later my bro bought a new handphone after he lost his... Nokia 3100... RM 670!!! Watlao... The average price of the handphones sold there are around RM 350, and he bought a RM 600+ hp?! Crazy fella... Verily spend money like water!! Well, mum paid for it of course, else I'll probably chop him to mincemeat. Add up with the batteries and sim card n such, it cost at RM 738... $$$...

And so finally, I get to watch my DVD!!!

Well, the OVA is divided into 4 episodes... The 1st 2 episodes are really confusing, for it keep switching between flashback and present... In fact, I'm kindo lost in time... It's also felt very very rushed too... So at first I'm kinda disappointed... But by episode 2, it started to get very interesting... And the climatic episode 4 is truly truly heartbreaking and sad... Sigh... Poor poor Kenshin... I finally understand his true pain and grief and loneliness... Great anime... Definitely gonna watch it again...

On the side note... At first I was worried sick of the violance level of the anime, since many critic describe it as brutal and unrelenting... But I'm very relieved to find that it's not that bad actually, juz very bloody... It's juz blood, blood, and blood all over, but no guts or organs spilling out or anything like that. The animation is nice, but nowhere close to Hiyao Miyasaki's masterpieces... The soundtrack dun really fit the mood well, but it's decent... The only MAJOR flaw is the horrible English subtitle... Wrong spelling, wrong grammar, and worse of all, wrong timing... Sumtimes, it appears b4 any characters starts speaking, sometimes it only shws up after the character has spoken, and most of them it disappears too quickly... ARGH!!! I expected this since the DVD is made in M'sia, but it's damn annoying... I'll watch it with the Chinese subtitle next time... Hopefully it's better!

Saturday, October 25, 2003


Went with my family and 2 cousins to Bukit Tinggi today... Gosh, the roads really curved badly!! It's even worse than Cameron Highlands!! We overshot Colmar Tropicale at first, so we went to the Japanese Garden 1st... And I must say, it's incredebly peaceful and beautiful there... The air is really fresh and cooling... Ahhhh how I miss it! If only I can bought some of the air there home! Hahahaha... I definitely wanna go there again someday!

Next, Colmar Tropicale... When I step into that place, I was like transport to another the world... A French village full of people!! Well, French street is a better term, since it's juz 2 rows of shops n hotels... But it's gorgeous!! Very colourful and lively! We have a great lunch there, roasted chicken n such... There's also a wonderful Michael Jackson imitation performance bu Jordan Sam... That guy looks, acts, walks, dances, sings, poses juz like Michael Jackson!!! He's really perfect in imitating MJ!!! Even his expression and dance steps are exactly the same (including to pull ur groin n dance style... ahem...) Incredible... My only complain to Colmar Tropicale is it's juz much too small!!! Gimme a village, not juz 2 row of shops/hotels!!! All the buildings add up to only about 15 buildings or so... Much too small!

Lastly we went to the Rabbit Park... Well, it's full of rabbits of course! White ones, black ones, and the somewhat greyish brown ones... Quite adorable, these little critters... I used to think them as boring and lazy... But all the rabbits here are really active... Well, I should say most of them... There's one group of them which, after satisfying their hunger from feeding the food provided by excited tourists, juz lie together in a big pile and sleep!!!

Well, overall, quite a satisfying trip... There are some stuff that are still under construction there, like one HUGE French castle... I'll definitely go there again someday!! I've already missed the fresh air of the Japanese Garden!!!

Friday, October 24, 2003


Went to Pyramid with Kenny & Jayne for 2 movies today... A Tale of Two Sisters, and Freaky Friday. Due to massive traffic jam, We reach there by 11.50 am... The showtime for A Tale of Two Sisters was 11.45 am! Yet we rushed in juz in time... the movie juz started...

Wat follows was a scary twisted tale... which was very confusing too... But heck, I really enjoyed it... It makes me think, which few movies nowadays do! There's one part that I found very very funny while the others freak out... The "peeing" ghost... Lol... Dunno wat I mean? Go watch urself! It's a Korean show. I see all races there watching, Malays, Chinese, Indians. The Indian guy behind my row scream like a girl for a couple of times... Hahahah, so funny... I enjoyed the audience as much as I enjoyed the show! >=)

After that, we have our lunch at A&W, then continue with Freaky Friday... It's HILARIOUS!!! Jamie Lee Curtis truly is a great actress!! She steals the whole show!! Lindsay Lohan's acting is credible, but definitely not as funny as her "mum"... Watching the old lady acting like a rebellious teenager are among the funniest scenes I've ever watched!!! Too bad it's kinda short though... I was hoping I can enjoy myself longer! >=)

B4 we returned, I went to Anime Tech... I asked the cashier about the Rurouni Kenshin OVA DVD, whether it included all the 4 episodes... She wasn't sure, so she said she will play it on the TV to show me... I gladly agreed... Indeed it was the one I wanted... but I dun have any DVD player yet!!! The cashier asked me if I wanna purchase it, n I'm too shy to say no... I mean, com'on, ppl have gone trough all the trouble of unwrapping the DVD n showing it to u, n u juz say no?! So now the DVD is with me... But how do I watch without the player?! Argh... Someone out there help me!!!

Last words... I really spent a lot today... about RM 70... The DVD itself cost me RM 40 adi... Gosh... Gotta spend less now!!! <=)

Tuesday, October 21, 2003


On a sad Sunday with a hundred white flowers
I was waiting for you my dearest with a prayer
A Sunday morning, chasing after my dreams
The carriage of my sorrow returned to me without you
It is since then that my Sundays have been forever sad

Sad Sunday

This last Sunday, my darling please come to me
There'll be a priest, a coffin, a catafalque and a winding-sheet
There'll be flowers for you, flowers and a coffin
Under the blossoming trees it will be my last journey
My eyes will be open, so that I could see you for a last time
Don't be afraid of my eyes, I'm blessing you even in my death...

The last Sunday


I was scanning through the headlines at TheOneRing.Net, or ToRN for short, and the headline caught my attention...

LOTR Goodies in Malaysia

At first I can't believe my own eyes... Torn is an international LoTR movies and books website, but most of the time they only focus in few countries, such as US, Canada, Britain, and Japan. Imagine my surprise when I saw Malaysia in the headline... Here's the news...

elfstone writes: There'll be series of LOTR roadshows in Malaysia from 31st October to December 7th sponsored by Maxis Hotlink. There will be loads of great prizes to be won at these events and Hotlink or Maxis subscribers could walk away with exclusive limited edition LOTR premiums! [More]

There is also a trivia SMS contest where participants stand a chance to win a Sony PDA, Nokia handphone, LOTR premium items and movie tickets. There will also be an extended FOTR and TTT screening slated for November and LOTR Movie Marathon in December.

Did I juz read that correctly?! There will also be an extended FOTR and TTT screening slated for November and LOTR Movie Marathon in December??!! YYYYYYYEEEEEEHHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!! OOOOOOOHHHHHHOOOOOO!!!! YYYYEEEEAAAA! I'm the happiest man in the world now! Ahahahahaha... [continuous mirthful laughter]

Phew, feeling more in control now... Yea!!! This news certainly brighten up my day!!! Perhaps even weeks and months!!! I've been a faithful ToRN site visitor, and have been visiting that site daily (almost, unless I dun have access to the internet!) for the past 2 years or so... It's incredibly impossibly stupefyingly up-to-date (that's an understatement!)... It's kinda sad Return of the King will be out soon... How long will the site lasts without anymore LoTR movies coming out? Oh pls someone go make the motion picture of The Hobbit or The Silmarillion, so the site will lives on!

Lastly, Long Live TheOneRing.Net!!! >=)


I was eating at Burger King with Lance and 2 other frens, when Lance suddenly mentioned this song which many ppl have commited suicide after hearing it... it's called Gloomy Sunday... I shuddered by the mere thought of it, eventhough I read about it long time ago in an "UnXplained" book... I have a strong sense of foreboding towards the song, and at first I wanted nothing to do with it... But my curiosity got the better of me... And so I end up researching about it right after I came back to college... I read the lyrics, and it's damn disturbing... But even know I have not the slightest intention of listening to that song, Hungarian or English... I'm depressed enough sumtimes, and am not looking forward to kill myself...

Well, here's the most interesting article I found about the song... I have removed the translated lyrics... I'm disturbed by the mere presence of it on my blog... So I guess this article is enough...

Shit, I juz felt a horrible sense of being watch right after I post this... I decided to delete the article away... Shit, this is juz too disturbing... Someone is watching me from behind... I can feel it... Someone...

Monday, October 20, 2003


Imagine this... Sister's sport's day in the morning, uncle's university graduation in the afternoon, swimming at aunt's condo in Shah Alam in the evening, and a second dinner in the night... Wat a packed-up day!!!

I truly enjoy my attending sis' Sport's Day... At least the 1st half of it... Walking around, surrounded by kids who constantly calling me teacher (eventhough I'm no longer one for the past 3 months!), and asking me why I did not return to the primary school earlier, and requesting me for photographs... Ahhhh, I felt like a celebrity! (Enough illusions of grandeour u ego freak!) As the sport's day drag on and on and on and on... I can't help but feel real BORED... By the time it was all over, I was like, "What? Only 3 hours have passed? It's like half a day!!"

As for my uncle's graduation... Well, I feel kinda stupid... We went all the way to Universiti Putra Malaysia, then guess wat? Me, my mum, my aunt and my cousin actually cannot enter the hall to witness the graduation!! Only 2 are allowed to enter! Sheesh... They seemed to know that adi, but heck, I dun!! Then wat the heck do I travel more than 1 hour (+ carsick) for?! Dang! In the end, my grandma "escaped" from the hall... She's can't stand the heat due to the over-stuff crowd... And so we went circling around the area, trying to get ourselves some drinks... whick took us about 30 minutes... Then we get my grandpa and another aunt of mine, and help them to escape the overbearing heat! Hahahaha... By the time we reached home, the graduation ceremony wasn't over yet... There's still graduates waiting to receive their cert!!

Then I went to my aunt's condo at Shah Alam for a swim... I felt tricked then... B4 I stepped into their car, I thought I was going to the Swimming Stadium at Shah Alam... Turns out I got the wrong infomation from my mum... They're going to their condo to swim!!! The swimming pool is terribly small, but "populated" by too many swimmers!!! In the end, I can't really enjoy it... ARGH... But I did end up with a nice dinner with my aunt's family though... Imagine ordering 3 rounds of "fu rong dan" (omellete)!!!

Well, returned home by 8.45pm... n my family were really mad... They were all waiting for me n my sis to return so we can eat dinner together! And we're like, "Er... We ate already..." My dad was like... silently angry... Looks kinda scary... eheh... So we go for a "second" dinner... Actually, not really a dinner for me, since I only ate a RM 3.50 ABC Supreme! But I actually felt full after eating it! Hahahaha... By the time I returned home, I haven't started any of my homework! Figuring I'm too tired anyway, I juz abandoned them and go to sleep... Hehehe... >=)

Sunday, October 19, 2003


The Scream, 1893, by Edvard Munch. One of my favourite painting. It captures the emotions of horror and despair very well... So well it's disquieting... A silent scream...

Friday, October 17, 2003


Transport, motorways and tramlines,
starting and then stopping,
taking off and landing,
the emptiest of feelings,
disappointed people, clingling on to bottles,
and when it comes it's so so disappointing.

Let down and hanging around
Crushed like a bug in the ground
Let down and hanging around...

[An excerpt from Radiohead's Let Down]

It's like when Andy Warhol said he enjoyed being bored. It's about that feeling that you get when you're not in control of it - you just go past thousands of places and thousands of people and you're completely removed from it.
[Jonny Greenwood]

Completely removed... The emptiest of feelings... That's exactly what I'm feeling now... Dunno y, but I can't help but keep feeling down lately... I'm bored of wat I'm learning now in Economics and Biology... Economics bcos it's getting to complicated to be enjoyable and enlightening, and Biology bcos Evolution is a BORING topic... As for Physics... Can't help but feeling "abandoned" after Mr. Gillick's leave-taking... Sigh...

Even hanging around with frens can't removed the sense of... aimlessness, emptiness, hollowness, meaningless... I need something to push me on... But wat?! The ISUs I guess... All the 3 subjects... But all three ISUs are equally boring... Not much new knowledge to be gained... Sigh... Next week 5-days holiday summore... Man, I'm gonna bored till death!!! Must organize a trip to sumwhere... But where and with who?!

The emptiest of feelings... <=(

Wednesday, October 15, 2003


Sigh... My heart is so heavy now... I was in Lecture Theatre 2 when Eyrique & gang told me the (awfully) bad news... Mr. Gillick will be leaving for Canada after the test tomorrow, and won't be back until the next semester!!! His 86-year-old mum is sufferinf from cancer, and needs to undergo surgery soon... but there are 20-30% chance that she might died on the operating table... Which is why Mr. Gillick has to make a hard decision... Sigh... I do pity him... He probably felt torn between staying here to teach or returning to Canada to look after his mum... He made the right and logical choice... I mean, this may his last chance to see his mum alive... But I sincerely pray and hope not!!!

I can see he feels very sad of that hard decision... When he mentioned he hoped to be able to see our mousecart trap, it's very evident his fighting back his tears... Sigh... No more online quizzes, challenge problems, bonus marks for articles, and internet notes... Sigh... I'm definitely gonna miss him... sorely... <=( The soundtrack of Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon kept on playing in my head then... Tragic enought to fit this sad case...

Other than sadness, I also felt... worried, or uncertain... We only have 6 weeks left b4 the semester is over, 2 more units to cover, and so far no new teacher has been confirmed... Even if there will be one coming, will he/she know the difficulty level that CPU supposed to have? Wat if nobody understand wat he's teaching bcos the level he teaches is juz too high? And wat about the tests difficulties? The lab experiments? The ISU? Sigh... Too scary for me to imagine... I'll juz leave all this in the Almighty's hand... and pray hard...

Sigh... Farewell Mr. Gillick! Hope our path may cross again in the future!

Tuesday, October 14, 2003


Juz took from MUET speaking test... The atmosphere much more relaxed than I have ever imagined... But heck the topic is outright stooopid... There will be an election for a Chirman for the Residents' Association, and 4 candidates were shortlisted: The bank manager, the lawyer, the army officer, and the school principal. I propose the bank manager (not my choice, it's decided for me)... And heck, I crap all those stuff I've learn in Organizational Studies last sem... All the planning, organizing, human skills etc. The other 3 (all CPU girls) did quite decently, except for the last girl who was forced to propose the school principle... Poor girl... <=)

Then we have this stupid group discussion, where the 4 of us try to crap as much as possible, then unified in a conclusion... Damn stupid. I mean, if we all agree in one candidate in the 1st place, we won't talk long enough for 10 minutes. And since we're forced to disagree with one another, we all crap about our prefered candidate, and at the last few minutes cut down all the candidates and agree we r think that the lawyer is best... The girl beside me, Shal Ling, talk so slow that I'm worried I'm denied the chance to speak out... Well, in the end I did crap out a few sentences... Sheesh...

Oh well, I dun really care much bout the outcome... We'll see wat I'll get later... For now, I need some rest...


Juz bought Radiohead's newest album, Hail to the Thief. Phew, luckily I'm well prepared b4 I listen to it... The point is, Radiohead's music dun evolves gradually from album to album, but they MUTATES. Take OK Computer and Kid A, 2 of their best (which released one after another in a 3 year gap) for example... The 1st is a Rock album, the 2nd is more towards Techno/ Dance/ Ambient. The 1st one shines, the 2nd glow...

Hail to the Thief

And now, Hail to the Thief... Well, I dunno wat to make of it... yet... It's so completely different from the 2 Radiohead albums I've heard... We'll see...

Monday, October 13, 2003


Went to the pasar pagi sale at KCMC today... There's a light drizzle, but it definitely dun dampen the everyone's cheerful spirit... The siu mai we made was a success (juz as I expected), and was sold out so fast I dun even have the chance to try them myself! Bought a rainbow colour wrist band and a cross-shaped keychain (nicely done!). Too bad I have to leave so soon... Cos I'm going to watch Infernal Affairs 2 with 2 of my frens at 1.40 pm.

Well, the only reason I watch the show at cinema was bcos I wanna accompany my fren, da birthday boy. I watched the 1st movie, and I must say, it's good... Far better than many mediocre Hong Kong action flick, full of suspence, intrigue, action... But it's juz too bleak... And more importantly, though the plots are great and the acting's excellent, I juz can't symphatize the protagonist (nor the antagonist)... They r so... morally-ambiguous... Sad... It could have been such a great movie, if only the audience could symphatize 1 of the characters... Sigh... Nevertheless, 4 stars out of 5 for a job well done. I'll watch Infernal Affairs 3 for certain when it comes out, but probably in pirated VCD format... Heheh...

Sunday, October 12, 2003


Went to Linda's house to make siu mai for the Pasar Pagi sale at my church... All the money will be donated to an orphanage, so it's kinda like CPU Charity Day actually... Oh, in case u dunno wat siu mai is, it's a dim sum, with a mixture of pork, prawns, carrots and a little vege inside a thin "skin" made of flour... Hard to picture if u haven't ate it b4, eh? It taste really good, but damn expensive if u eat it outdoor... At our family's favourite dim sum restaurant, it cost RM 5 for 4 balls of siu mai... We're selling it for RM 0.50 per ball! Heheh... Sure will sell like hotcakes!

The fillings were already made when our Cell Group members were there, and all we need to do is juz wrap the fillings up... It's harder than it sounds... The first few attempts were horrible... The siu mai looks more like wan tan (er Chinese "delicacy")... Hahaha... But soon we get the hang of it... By the time the first few were cooked, the tasty aroma tempted me so badly that I can't resist it... And my, was it tasty! Not as good as the real thing, but almost! Juz too bad the prawns ratio is a bit too low... I can't taste them! But nevertheless, I'm truly impressed! I'm 100% sure all that we made will be not enough to satisfy the huge demand tomorrow! >=)

Saturday, October 11, 2003


Celebrated Wei Cher's birthday at the Kampung place at Berkeley Garden... Pick him up at the PBSM HQ, then Thian Meng from his house... Well, Wei Cher's primary skool frens were with us too... 3 of them... At 1st I was worried that we won't mix well, but it turned out better than I expect. They're quite decent, though they do swear quite frequently. But I guess that's something I have to get used to, yet try my best not to be influenced by them... THe highlight of the dinner party was the sausage eatng part... Well, they order the sausages in 2 flavors, spicy and super spicy, 3 each. Actually, there were 7 of us there... But since I can't stand chilli, I'm... excused... >=)

The 3 of them who got the super spicy flavour are damn unlucky, Wei Cher was one, and two of his primary skool frens were the others. The sausages themselves looked as if were covered with powdery fungus, but they were all chili powder actually... 1 of Wei Cher's fren looked as if he's melted like butter due to his sweat (hahahaha), but the other was like... completely cool about it... Wow, impressive... He kept boasting about the sausage tasting sweet... and earn himself a second helping... But the funny thing was my fren ordered super spicy with extra chili powder... When he opened the wrappings around the sausage, my did he look shock! I laughed my head off then! But that guy managed to stuff em all into his mouth... Really impressive!

Well, we did enjoy ourselves... It's great to have a nice chat with old frens really... Looking forward to watch a movie together on Sunday! I wonder should I watch Infernal Affairs 2 or The Tale of Two Sisters... Hmmm...

Friday, October 10, 2003


Here's an article that summarizes The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien quite nicely. I say summary, but it's still very long... ;-) It's also peppered with comparative analysis all over, which is kinda nice... But I have a few objections too, as they dun explain the Silmarils clearly (which happens to be the heart of the story), and the author (rather stupidly) called Yavanna the fertility goddess (WAT OUTRAGE! She's the Valar of flora and fauna, NOT FERTILITY!). But overall, pretty good. Do take a look, and behold the genius that is J.R.R. Tolkien! >=)

Thursday, October 09, 2003


FINALLY!!! After years of search, I've finally found 2 friends that read novels seriously!!! And wat irony!!! We have been sharing the same bus since January this year!!! Wow... It all started when Chu Kin quote a line from a Science Fiction, n I asked him about The Foundation Trilogy, and then Fantasy, ans so on... My enthusiasm certainly have fueled the converstaion!!! There we were, Chu Kin, Kaishah and me, in the bus, discussing about Hannibal Lector, Terry Prachett, Harry Potter, William Shakespeare, Lord of the Flies, Interview with the Vampite, David Eddings, Margeret Weis and Tracy Hickman, elves, The Wheel of Time etc. We were so engrossed and excited in our discussion!!! Wow!!! I finally found what I've been searching for so long!!! People who appreciate Literature!!! Hahahahaha, YEA!!! UHOO!!! >=D


Got introduce to Friendster by TJ 2 days ago (7th of October, 2003)... As TJ has said, it is really a COOL site... A great network of friends, and friends' friends, and friends' friends' friends, and so on... Great if u wanna have more frens! The "middle person" could introduce his/her fren to another rather easily... Great idea really... If only they have a chatroom or sumthing... Guess nothing's perfect... <=/


Have lunch with Einstein n his gang today... All 3 of them are from outstation... 2 from Johor, 1 from Pahang... 1 interesting observation I've noticed is that people from outstation tend to be more... erm... humble and simple (it's a compliment, i mean no offense). That's y I like them... Majority of "uptown" ppl I knew tried too hard to act cool and are less... approachable... I will always remember the insult on "Klang people eat dogs", which is by the way a good example of how proud and foolish "uptown" ppl could be... Anyway, they r really friendly, eventhough this is the 1st time I met them. Heck, they even invited me to join them for karaoke... But I'm not sure I wanna go... I have a horrible voice!! But maybe... I'll think about it...

Ate tea time with Lance after classes... and his ambitious nature still kinda surprise me... Man, that guy probably will make it big in the future... He's already charting his own future course adi... Hahaha, all the best wishes to him! Hopefully he can do as much as wat he say he'll do! Hehehe... Nv thought the "guan nau pan me" at Success to be so tasty... Must eat there ore often!!! >=)

Mrs Joanne class is really weird 2day... Well, as we are in the evolution chapter, today she teaches about creationism... With all the verses from Genesis!! I admit it's a nice twist, espeacially after so many ppl have been brainwashed in thinking The Theory of Evolution is an established LAW instead of juz an THEORY. But her explanation from the biblical point of view juz dun fit in Biology... I would appreciate it more if she is to explain scientifically based on the verses... Also, the article from a pastor who harmonize both the evolution science and biblical verses are flimsy at best... Clearly the pastor is no scientist... Nevertheless, I thank God that we have a Bio teacher that not only does not scorn Creationism as a superstitious n obsolete belief, but actually taught about it!

Wednesday, October 08, 2003


Aragorn, Heir of Isildur, Rightful King of Gondor.


I've constantly under deep depression lately... And this song by Radiohead seems to fit my mood/ thoughts perfectly... Losing my grip on sanity... <=(

Climbing Up the Walls - Radiohead

I am the key to the lock in your house
That keeps your toys in the basement
And if you get too far inside
You'll only see my reflection

It's always best when the light is off
I am the pick in the ice
Do not cry out or hit the alarm
You know we're friends till we die

And either way you turn
I'll be there
Open up your skull
I'll be there
Climbing up the walls

It's always best when the light is off
It's always better on the outside
15 blows to the back of your head
15 blows to your mind

So lock the kids up safe tonight
Put the eyes in the cupboard
I've got the smell of a local man
Who`s got the loneliest feeling

That either way he turns
I'll be there
Open up your skull
I'll be there

Climbing up the walls
Climbing up the walls
Climbing up the walls

Then again, the following song in the album, No Surprises, always seems to comfort me... Kinda like the rainbow after the storm...

Tuesday, October 07, 2003


I've finished typing the essay for the application to IMU... I thank Jayne, Kenny, Lance, and Azzedin for they help they gave me, which includes feedbacks, corrections, and even writing (Jayne wrote the last paragraph... ehhe) Thanks guys! ;) Phew... Spent the whole afternoon till midnight finishing this seemingly unimpressive essay...

Why do I want to be a doctor

Ever since I was a child, I have always been very curious on how the human body functions. At first, I got all the answers to my questions by asking elder people, but when my interest in reading began to develop, I started to read books and encyclopaedias to satisfy my inquisitiveness. I fell in love with Science since I was in primary school, but Biology has always been my favourite part of science, and still is. I am thrilled every time I learn something new about the human body, as it never ceases to fascinate me.

During my secondary school years, I joined the Red Crescent Society, hoping that I may not only know the facts and theories about our body, but also the opportunity to apply what I have learned. Unfortunately, there are only limited first aid skills for me to learn, as the organization's headquarter at my hometown only organizes first aid courses occasionally. The opportunities for me to apply the skills I have learned are even rare, as the only time our skills are truly needed is during our school's Sports Day. Nevertheless, I appreciate all the little first aid skills I have learned, and all the little chance I have to provide first aid. It was during this period when I first started to consider physician as my career.

The field of medicine attracted me because of its dualistic nature, which combines both scientific knowledge and human interaction. In my opinion, a doctor should not only be knowledgeable in the medical field, but also able to show compassion and care towards people. Having taken a career test some time ago, it indicated me that I possess two critical personality types, namely "Investigative" and "Social", which are vital qualities for a physician. I strongly believe that I am capable and qualified to undertake the task as a medical student, and eventually a physician.

I also wish to become a doctor because I am motivated to help the needy and serve humanity. I always felt a sense of joy and accomplishment when helping others. I sincerely hope that as a physician, I can help patients recover from their ailments and diseases, or at least, ease their sufferings. I have some experiences in providing some simple first aid to others, and I truly enjoyed helping those people. I do realize that Medicine is a challenging programme, and I am prepared for it.

In conclusion, I believe that with the interest, qualification and values that I possess, IMU can pave my way as I work towards achieving achieving my ambition to be a doctor. I do sincerely hope that by being accepted into this university, it will mark my first step into the medicine world by moulding my foundation and qualities into those of a professional and dedicated doctor in order to be able to serve others in the future.

Monday, October 06, 2003

Saturday, October 04, 2003


WOW... WOW... I can't believe wat I juz watched... It blew my mind... Hayao Miyazaki is a GENIUS... His other work, Spirited Away, which I watched it some month ago, is equally breathtaking... But PRINCESS MONONOKE is EPIC in every sense... It's deserved to be perceived at the same level as The Lord of the Rings... Sheer brilliance... I'm speechless, yet I can't help but raving about how good it is at the same time... Easily 1 of the best motion picture ever produced, eventhough it's an Anime genre... 5 stars out of 5 (I wish I could give more than that!!!)... Instant classic, a cinematic landmark... A MUST WATCH!!!

I'm falling in love with Hayao Miyazaki's work... Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and some of u might remember My Neighbour Totoro (I myself only remembered a few key scenes, since I watched it long long ago when I was a kid):

He's a heck of a genius, and I'll wait patiently for his next work... The animation for Princess Mononoke is top-notch, the soundtrack beautiful, the characters that are easily liked (even the supposed villain), the plot is purely original, the creatures/ monsters well designed.... I can go on forever... But I have to stop now... Need some rest after watching an anime that lasted 2 hours and 15 minutes... Last word: WOW...

Friday, October 03, 2003


Woke up from my slumber... Feeling blurry.... Wat time izzit? I distinctly remember the alarm rang, and I off it and went on sleeping... Wait a minute... Wat time is... HUH?! 7.40am?! OH NO!!! I've missed the bus!!! Hurriedly, I ran out of my room, and I was surprised to hear Ranma's voice buzzing from the TV upstairs... Wait a minute... Ranma during early morning?! That's when I remembered I've juz woke up from my afternoon nap... Duh... It's 7.40 pm... Wat a blur case I am... <=)

Well, watched Underworld after I bought the VCD from pasar malam... Wat can I say about it? Confusing plot, bad to mediocre acting, shallow characters... Too bad... I see potential for a better backstory and setting... Yet surprisingly, it's amusing and entertaining enough to sustain my interest to finish watching the movie... The movie took ideas and stuff from loads of other movies... Most notably The Matrix, Dark City and Interview With The Vampire... But I like the (Matrix-ish) costumes and atmosphere though... Very Gothic... 2.75 starts out of 5. (Can't decide should I give 2.5 stars or 3... so halfway lo... =p )

Thursday, October 02, 2003


Juz seen the notice board in front of the CPU office... Hurray!!! I've finally seen my name at the highest mark for each subject paper!!! Biology, 97%!!! I have always hope that my name will come up there one day... And now it did!!! And I got no. 5 in CPU too!!! That's a major improvement from no. 20 last semester!!! The highest mark is 97, n 2 GIRLS got them... I'm so not happy about it... But heck, Harish Shankar came close with 95%!!! Bless that guy! =D Man he's amazing! Artistic, and great in mathematics... U won't see a lot of ppl with that 2 combination!!! Salute to him!!! Oh ya... I forgot to check out the other top scorers' marks... I'll be going to check soon! =D


Wow... wat a day... 30 minutes per period is insufficient for any teaching to commence any teaching at all, so we're quite relaxed for the day... Kinda felt like Teacher's Day during secondary school... eheh... Helped out at the BBQ chicken stall... Quite busy, but I enjoy myself helping there... The BBQ chicken was not bad, bad not as good as Boodram claimed it to be either. =p Quite a lot of ppl bought it, and the end, all the chickens are sold out! Yea!

Well, get to chat with Jayne, Eyrique, Sabera and Sebastian during "work"... Quite memorable... Oh ya, the cookies' great!!! Yummy!! In fact, I kinda regretted that I did not bought more of it... It's DELICIOUS!!! As for the other stores, I didn't really pay much attention to them... But the body art stall is quite impressive, I must say... The ppl working there are really artistic!

Well, there's all I have to say about the Charity Day... Not much, bcos nothing extravagant really happens...

Wednesday, October 01, 2003


Hahaha... How true... ;)


Today is a %@#$ bad day!!! 1st I've downloaded the RoTK movie trailer for 20 minutes before my idiotic bro somehow got the PC jammed!!! ARGH!!! So I restart the entire PC again, juz to find out the connection went wrong... and so I restart the PC yet again, and start download it while I went to a bookshop, and have passport size pics taken at another nearby shop.

And then shit happens... Damn all confusing one-way street!!! 1st, I went to the bookshop the wrong way... I should have go from one side to the other... So I keep that down in my head... When I went to the photo shop juz across the road from the bookshop, I correct myself by going through the supposed direction from wat i learn from the earlier road... Turns out that this time, it's juz the opposite direction of the earlier road...
And guess wat? The cars from the other direction get stuck bcos i went the wrong direction... Hurriedly I tried to have a 3 point turn, but the STOOOOPID driver juz keep on getting closer n closer to me without giving much chance for me to do it properly... Ends up the bumper of my car hit the ramp beside the road... I cringe at the thud sound... This shit happens b4, that's y it sounds so damn familiar... N my bumper hang midair on the left side... Again... Juz like last time... ^*&^@#>{@!!!

Damn... When I return home, guess what?! The movie trailer is 89% completed! Yea, rite? It took me few minutes to realize later that the download has STOP there... 89% complete... After 45 minutes of downloading... So there goes 1 precious hour... Wasted...

I feel like destroying things now... Or kill something... Maybe I should hunt down some cockroaches... 2 nights ago I killed 4 cockroaches in 1-hour interval... MUST RELEASE ANGER!!!!