Sunday, May 29, 2005


For years I've prayed to God that he'll blessed me with a friend whom I can be completely honest to, whom I can share all my thoughts and problems with, whom can support me as I continue my struggles... I've been waiting patiently over all these years, and praise God, I have found him - my perfect friend.

Nv have I considered how wonderful this blessing actually is - a friend whom I can always talk to, always depend on, always there... Truly, I am convinced that I have found one of the rarest treasure in life, a true friend, a great brother. No words can describe the blissfulness I'm in now, and the eternal gratitude I'm feeling...

I can't believe we actually chat thru all the night till the light of dawn shines in! Lol... That few hours are the fondest memory I have so far in my life, and yup, I agree with you, I'm looking forward to the future! I wish for all the best to you, and I pray that our friendship will live on forever!

Thank you for just being who you are... You are definitely the most wonderful individual I've met! >=)

Monday, May 23, 2005


After months of desperation (& despair) for a new good music to listen to, I've finally found - My Bloody Valentine!!! Thanks a lot to Shannon Teoh and Jeremy Mahadevan who gave us the talk on Rock music a few weeks ago, I've finally discover another genre of music - Shoegazing! It's named so bcuz the artistes juz gaze at their shoes during their concerts, which is a total opposite of all the energetic performances from other rock bands! And guess who started the genre? It's none other than My Bloody Valentine themselves!

I really like how their music sounds so far... Shimmering distortions of the guitars, ethereal melodies, whispering vocals... All of them blend together to sound immensely beautiful. Well most good music seems to shine, theirs "glow" in a mysteriously soothing way. Think Enya with lots of guitar distortion in the background and whispers as vocals instead of her soaring voice. Man, nv have noise sounds so beautiful!

My Bloody Valentine has created an immensely intriguing and fascinating sound. I'm definitely hooked to them for the coming months! And now that I've finally include another band to my favourite artistes list, perhaps life will start to return back to normal for me. Yay, new stuff to try out!!! >=)


The conversation took place thru MSN Messenger Chat. I've taken the liberty to edit our nicknames to our real names so tha it's less confusing. Man Keat has given me the green light to put his name there, and there are no alteration to the conversation at all except when necessary (icons and all).

* * * * * *

After chatting for quite awhile, we wish each other goodbye, since Man Keat sez he wanna sleep soon.

Me: k... thx

Man Keat (MK): no need to thanks laa
u're always welcome
nitez ya

Me: bye

5 minutes later, i still see him online, and i have a sudden urge to try out a prank on him, juz to see his reaction.

Me: HEY!!!
how r u!!!
whoa, y suddenly online 1 ar?

MK: how am i??
i'm not sid u know?

Me: how come dun greet me when u're online?
tsk tsk
wat la Man Keat, i know it's u la

Then I asked myself, hey, why dun I repeat our earlier conversation again?

Me: so, how's studies?

MK: what the!!!!!!

Me: u know, i haven't study since yesterday! lol

MK: wait a minuteeeee

Me: hey wat?

MK: did we just chat just now ! ! ! ??

Of cuz, playing confused seems to be the most appropriate reaction now...

Me: wait wat?

MK: don freak me out plz

Me: did we?

Then I pretend to look from my history to see if we have chatted earlier!

Me: huh?

MK: OMG!!!

I started laughing by now.

Me: who's been chatting with u?

MK: ok!
u're not trying to be funny are u

This is getting funnier and funnier, but I juz dowan to lie, even for a good joke... So I start to pretend to think who could have possibly chatted with him earlier!

Me: hmmmm... couldn't be my bro... he's in the room...
my sis' sleeping
i dun remember the last conversation...
but strange, i am trying to burn a cd now

MK: please thommy plz! we just chatted just now!

Uh oh... Is someone freaking out? >=)

Me: juz now? how long ago?

MK: u said u were busy with burning ur cd remember!!!
how long ago?? 10 mins

Me: ya i am trying to burn a cd now?
ten minutes?! that would mean... immediately b4 this rite...

MK: yaaaa

Me: hello?


Me: wat?!
this is so strange...
u told me u're using a p2p software called limewire!!!
ya i am... y?
hey... maybe it's...
it could be...

At this point I start to feel guilty, and so I juz wrap up the prank!

Me: Play "Laugh"
Play "Water Balloon"

i wont be that blur next time!!!

I juz go on laughing for awhile

Me: this is SO SO funny la...
soree ya, dun mean to be mean

MK: it's either i was hallucinating or u were.... that's what i thought
but that was funny la thinking back

hahahaha... i SO wanna blog about this
but nv la, i dowan to embarass u... hehe

MK: *"Kena-bomb" smiley*
no blog it!!

Me:how? Copy n Paste? hehe

MK: as u wish!
i think it's gonna be funny

And thus this entry is post! Lol

That's all folks! Hope u guys enjoyed it as much as I do! And thanks Man Keat for all the fun! >=)

Sunday, May 22, 2005


Your Extroversion Profile:

Friendliness: Very High
Sociability: High
Activity Level: Medium
Cheerfulness: Medium
Excitement Seeking: Medium
Assertiveness: Low

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires.
And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek.
You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships.
It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

Your Love Style is Agape

You are a caring, kind, and selfless partner.

Unsurprisingly, your love style is the most rare.

You are willing to sacrfice your world for your sweetie.

Except it doesn't really feel like sacrifice to you.

For you, nothing feels better than giving to the one you love.

You Are 19 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

* PUKE *

Argh!!! Such pride, delusions of grandeur, insolence, and over-inflated egoism!!! Argh spare me the sight!!! It hurtsssss ussssss, yesssss it doessssss!!!

Man, how can such a sickening, repulsive chain of thoughts be possible? Watever happens to serving the people with a humble heart, and working towards goodness for all?!

Oh my gosh how in the world could I bring myself to hug such a porcupine?! It takes all my willpower to juz control myself from unleashing all my disgust!!! The mere sight of such being makes me wanna run as far as possible!!!

I can't deal with this!!! I guess I can only run and hide!!! The only alternative is confrontation, and I sure as hell dun want that to happen!!!

Saturday, May 21, 2005


So the final installment of the Star Wars saga has finally come... It's been a long way, and the sixth episode did finally bring conclude the saga into a full circle. All decent Star Wars fans would have known wat will happens in this movie, but it's finding out the 'hows' that make this film so interesting. The final bits and pieces of the puzzle finally came into place, and we finally have the big picture...

Or did we? Personally, I think there's still plenty of potential to further flesh out the backstory. Like where did Darth Sidious learn all his 'tricks' from? How did he worked all his way thru the senate? How he so cleverly divised a plan of such awesome scale with such subtlety than even the Jedi, in the height of their power, were totally ignorant and unprepared to face it? And wat is the importance of introducing the character of Darth Sidious anyway?!

Does all the 'whining' show that I dislike the movie? Not really. It definitely is the best among the 3 Star Wars prequels. Izzit good then? There are moments where its brilliance shines thru, and these short moments are as good as the 'original' Star Wars trilogy (heck that's a great compliment). But the movie is definitely flawed. And the most painfully obvious flaws are the horrible script and the horrible acting.

Many ppl commented on how over-critical I sometimes am towards movies, but those who have watched the movie with me all anonymously agree that the acting juz sucks. Period. Consider the way Obi-Wan Kenobi 'exclaimed' "I can't watch this anymore" after he saw a security recordings of Anakin Skywalker in his murderous rampage. He said it in such a flat and unemotional manner that quite a number of the audience laughed during that supposedly serious and tragic scene, out of its sheer comical-ness. And seeing ppl chat around as if they were drinking coffee in Starbucks when they're actually engaging in a deadly rescue mission and were in risk of losing their lives is juz horribly annoying. The saddest thing about all these is that these actors and actresses CAN act, but somehow they juz turned out to be so unimaginably F-L-A-T when they're under the direction of George Lucas. "You broke my heart", cries Padme. Shit, all the ppl around me cringes at how horribly the line was presented.

The horrible script and bad acting aside, the movie seems to deal things in a much too simplistic manner. Come on, when a former Republic was suddenly announced to be rearranged and restructured into the First Galactic Empire, isn't it a bit too unbelievable that only Senator Organa and Senator Amidala feel bad about it while everyone is cheering and clapping like idiots? Surely there are more anti-tyranny politicians among the thousands of the Senate? And the way the Jedi all over the different planets are slaughtered are juz pathetic... I expected more resistance from all the legendary Jedi heroes! Sheesh...

Oh and the lightsaber duels lost all their 'ohm' factor. In the original trilogy, everytime a lightsaber is ignited, there is a sense of excitement and tension in all the scenes that followed. Sadly, the lightsaber is so overused in the prequel trilogies that it has lost its sense of mysticism; it ceases to be THE weapon that defines a Jedi and becomes only like a tool that comes in handy for a Jedi in times of battle. Gone were the days when the sheer hum of the lightsaber as it cut thru the air thrills our senses. As my friend appropriately puts it, they've become merely 'glow-in-the-dark sticks'.

All the bad stuff aside, there are some parts of the movie which I really like. No, it has nothing to do with the amazing special effects, since I find them only of superficial importance. There is a fight scene between Yoda and Darth Sidious where the "bowls" of where the different Senate reprensetatives from different planets were thrown around and crashing down all over the Senate meeting, and where Yoda's Jedi robe fell off and dangling pathetically in a corner. The symbolism of the end of the Republic and the failure of the Jedi Order in that part is surprisingly subtle, so much so that most of my friends that watch the movie with me hardly noticed it. Bear in mind that this is a Star Wars movie, an action adventure movie with a sci-fi setting. That makes it quite an impressive feat for such subtlety to be shown.

How Anakin is gradually seduced and corrupted by the dark side is quite interestingly and (sufficiently) convincingly portrayed. It is juz damn delicious to watch how Senator Palpatine twist the truth to corrupt young Anakin into believing his lies and made his choice to join the dark side. In fact, I missed the shrewd grandfatherly manipulator after he was 'transformed' into the hideous B-grade movie Emperor Sidious. Evil is only interesting if it's subtle... A crazy cackling emperor is juz plain boring la...

Still, it is quite an impressive movie, and a worthy addition to the Star Wars saga. Nevertheless, if I would to recommend any Star Wars movies to my non-Star Wars movies friends, I would probably ask them to avoid the prequels and watch the original trilogy 1st. Only after that, if they have the interest to find out more about "how it leads to this", would I suggest them to watch the prequels trilogy.

The original trilogy is juz by far the superior one. Yes, the technical special effects are a bit cheesy by today's standard, but heck, it's good story and good characters we want, rite? The original trilogy has TONNES of them!!! Watching 6 episodes chronologically would spoil the viewing experience too... Remember the climax in The Empire Strikes Back when the truth is revealed?

Although George Lucas claimed that this is the end of Star Wars, I think wat he said applies only for the movies. Having watched Season 1 & 2 of the Clone Wars animated series, I can see that there's lot of potential to expand upon the world of Star Wars (though it's been done in books and games already). A Star Wars series set after The Return of the Jedi, anyone? >=)

Thursday, May 19, 2005


Yet another mediocre results... Well, I guess many ppl would wanna slap me now for 'whining' about my results eventhough I've passed my haematology exam, but really, nothing short of perfection will ever satisfy a perfectionist like me. It's a really annoying characteristics I carry around wth me. But I have to admit, I fully deserve the result I got, since I really slacken a lot for the pass 2 months...

I guess I have to end my break prematurely, i.e. till Friday this week only. Sigh... Hope I'll manage to get my motivation back. Heck, I've even skipped a lecture juz to blog about this... I really admire the ppl who always seems to have the self-discipline to stick to their study plans. Personally, I'm sick of the lecture notes. All I want is a break, maybe a month or 2.

And I guess the only way for me to earn that is too pass my finals... I'll die of chronic stress if I have to attend all the remedial classes and resit exams!!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005


Got a 30 minute crash course on how to be a badminton umpire today!!! Cool!!! And I also learn more about the badminton rules, after being both a linesman and later applies the skills I juz learn as an umpire too! Ok, this must have sound pretty common to many of u, but hey, it's my 1st time after all! >=)

Oh and I nv realized how much I've neglected my Sensing abilities until now! I actually have problem keeping track on who juz served and who's scoring and whether it's a service over or anything. Mind u, I know the rules and all, but it did take me an effort to recall and keep on track on the score developments... I'm juz so not good with figures!!!

I attended this competition thingie out of duty and obligation at first, but I must admit that I ended up enjoying all the excitements surrounding it! I gradually realize I'm falling more and more in love with badminton... It's such a simple but beautiful game, which involve all kinds of skills, from reflex to strength to control. And the rules are so very clear and uncomplicated. A truly beautiful sport indeed...

I'm actually looking forward to the upcoming matches!!! >=)

Monday, May 16, 2005


Perhaps it's a good idea to remove that EOS 3 countdown timer of mine. Seems that many ofmy friends are petrified by the mere sight of it. I put it on in hope that it'll scare me into studies, but it's not working so far, eventhough the little time I allocated to my studies is stealing my life away from me already... All I want is for the timer to give me a sense of urgency, for I'm motivated best by that...

But it seriously is not worth the nervous breakdown I'm seeing around... Hmmmmm... To remove or not to remove...

Saturday, May 14, 2005


ENFP (Extraverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)

...are usually informed generalists, have a broad range of pursuits, basic knowledge about many things, and the ability to hold their own in a conversation about any of them...

...see people's potential for loving, for learning, for making a difference, and they look for ways to nurture and encourage it...

...are screens for people's unarticulated hopes and aspirations... recognize how circumstances may be changed to bring unexpressed potential into play...

...are catalyst... derive great satisfaction from quickening others' potential...

...the flame of an Intuitive enthusiasm blazes only so long... ENPs lose interest in a situation once its import become evident to others...

...a small part of the vision, once realized, suggests the whole thing, and the Intuitives feels no need to consider the matter further...

...have implicit faith in their ability to identify with people...

...capable of identifying with another so completely that they anticipate sentences and take on the person's speech inflections...

...can invest everything they have in... motivating peeple toward a specific goal...

...little patience for administrative detail...

...if they have to make a decision, they want feedback from as broad a range of people as possible...

...shocked and disillusioned when things don't work out as anticipated...

...unless they realize the subjective nature of their own value system, they have no way of understanding people who values are legitimately different from their own...

...ENFP tend to make contact with their inner selves largely in their... faith practice...

...ultimately, ENFP needs more than freedom and oppurtunity... long for intimacy, relationships they can count on, people who will stand by them no matter what the circumstances...

It's really interesting to see how Personality Types, or typology, could categorize personality in a decently accurate manner. Yes, I know that many ppl refuse to believe that there is such a system so great as to be able to classify complex human personality into 16 convenient category, but I nv said that this is the absolute ultimate accurate description of every single being in the world. It is juz a model that categorize ppl into largely predictable personalites, and it is still in the process of developing, after all.

Having said that, the above description of an ENFP, my personality type, does ring true to some of my quirks. Of cuz much of the description are much too general, but hey, everyone is unique, and its the basic characteristics that are so astoundingly accurate (the fact that I'm more impress by the general overview rather than the details is a clue to my Intuitive nature). More importantly, I may have finally found the cause of my lack of enthusiasm lately:

Types who resisted their Intorverted side eventually reach a point where they feel tired and overwhelm, unable to follow through anything. Too much seems to coming to them, and they can't manage all the details.

ENFPs are not mistaken about their perceptions. If they resisted self-reflection, they
are overinvested and overwhelmed. However, they ideas of why this is happening is misplaced. They aren't overwhelmed because there's too much to do or because people expect too much. They're overwhelm because they're constantly changing in response to their circumstances.

It seems to me that the reason why I feel so burned out lately is bcuz I seemed to force-feed myself with all the infomation I need to commit into memory from my studies. All the things that I once find fascinating are slowly becoming repulsive to me. What I need now is a quiet place for thought and reflection, cuz it's difficult for me to address this issue until I got some psychological distance from my enviroment. I hoped to do juz this during the CF Camp in Peacehaven, but my unforeseen appointment as group leader messed things up totally. And where do I find the time now in the hectic sem 3 timetable?!

But this juz can't go on like that. And therefore until I find peace within myself, I shall suspend all my efforts in my studies... And to be honest, I'm not sure if I have sufficient time to do so. Hope I'm not making a mistake here...

Thursday, May 12, 2005


Whom should I vote for? For 1 whom I despised with the whole of my being, the manisfestation of all the abomination I've come to hate, but, whom I must admit, grudgingly respect for his quiet (insidious??) efficiency; or, the "lesser evil" (not that he is bad, juz that I dunno how good he is, but still definitely better than the former) with a seemingly pleasent personality, but perhaps a bit too "un-serious" to fit the position he's running for??


Friday, May 06, 2005


This is it: I've officially lost myself. Glad that I'll be leaving for CF Camp within 4 hours at Peacehaven, Genting Highlands. Perhaps this is not a purely evangelical event after all. I have a feeling that God will meet me there... Or should I say, I'll meet God there, unclouded by all the studies and preoccupation I've been having lately...

Perhaps I can get a grip on myself there again. Yes, and I'll put all my hopes in that.

Wat have I been doing to myself?!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


1984, by George Orwell - Probably the most horrifying book I've ever read, and ironically, it's not even a horror fiction. It's more of a political/ sci-fi novel. The world is set in an imaginary 1984 (the book is written in 1949), where the world consists of only 3 superstates after a worldwide atomic war: Oceania, Eurasia, and Eastasia. In Oceania, the only political party governing the country is INGSOC, and its figurehead is Big Brother, whose posters are everywhere with his face on it and the words "Big Brother Is Watching You".

In the world of 1984, the concept of political freedom and freedom of speech is totally alien to the people. Any forms of 'deviant thoughts' that differ from the orthodoxy is nipped from the bud, which is a job of the Thought Police, who monitor every single citizens' life everywhere, all the time with the countless telescreen in the people's home, public places and etc. It is a world where history is constantly rewritten, where records and documents are constantly destroyed whenever a change in history serves a purpose for the government.

It is a world where the outside world is completely shut out, thus the people can't imagine a better world that they could have possibly live in if they rebel, since they have nothing to compare their present government to. It is a world where children are the most horrifying creatures, who can readily reported anything uttered by their parents, even in their dreams, that shows signs of 'eccentricities' or rebellion, to the authourities without hesitation.

It is a world where all the people are trained since young to doublethink, which is basically the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one's mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them. To tell deliberate lies while genuinely believing in them, to forget any fact that has become inconvenient, and then, when it becomes necessary again, to draw it back from oblivion for just so long as it is needed. It is a world where a new language is in the process of creation and soon to be implemented as the only language used if Oceania: Newspeak, in which all vocabularies are reduced so intensively and simplified so much that each word has only 1 strong and clear meaning, and words that can incite rebellion and dissent are completely wiped clean, thus preventing the people from able to grasp the higher concept of freedom and rights.

It is a story about a man named Winston Churchill, who is in a grave danger simply bcuz his memory still functions: he's aware that the government keeps changing history and its current allies in whichever way that serves them better, he's aware that the propaganda about the victories Oceania has in war and the surplus in productivity are probably fabricated, and he's aware that the Party controls the people by feeding them lies and narrowing their imaginations through a process of bewilderment and brutalization that alienates each individual from his fellows and deprives him of every liberating human pursuit from reasoned inquiry to sexual passion.

Drawn into a forbidden love affair with a girl named Julia, he is able to muster the courage to join a mysterious secret organization known as The Brotherhood, which is dedicated to the desctruction of the Party. Together with his beloved Julia, he embarks on an attempt to fight against the control of the Party over his life...

The world that George Orwell has constructed is so complex and believable, it's almost possible for one to see that this is wat our world are heading to gradually. The concepts he introduced in the book, such as doublethink, has already occured in our world: The majority of the people in the US genuinely believe that the wars in Aghfanistan and Iraq are improving the lives of the people there, and the casualties of the innocents are minimal, while at the same time juz blankly ignoring the news about the countless suffering and innocent death tolls that are rising juz bcuz of the lies spread by the government thru the mass media. Images of suffering can be seen everywhere, but doublethink has made the people to accept the lies blankly, all the while thinking that their country is the righteous one that brings goodness to the world.

1984 is a warning about the world we'll heading into, where individuals have lost their ability to reason, to think and to express, bcuz they've all forced into conformity and stupidity without realizing it. It is a nightmarish dystopia where humanity have lost all resemblance to humanity, and function as a group of soulless automaton, all incapable of independent dissendent thoughts, all conform to the wishes and objectives of the Party, all capable of showing love only to the figurehead of the government: Big Brother.

Monday, May 02, 2005


Sidd and Man Keat came down to Klang for a 2 days 1 nite outing! Whoa, I've been waiting for this for so long! The last time I brought someone around Klang was after my scuba diving elective, with Hani Hadrianto from Jakarta. I've always imagined how I will bring them around, telling them everything I know about the places around (from the shady Plaza Metro to the infamous Klang River to the impressive Selangor Sultan Palace to the popular Little India) etc etc. Now I've finally got the chance!

Within 2 days, we've been almost every corner of Klang (OK, that's an exaggeration), north, south and all. Me, EV and CB acted as 'tour guides', telling them stuff bout the places and happenings around Klang, while bringing them to visit our houses and such. And of cuz, the main reason for the trip down to Klang is for the amazing FOOD here!!! We have Bah Kut Teh, steamboat, chinese noodles, western and Nyonya food within the 2 days! It's kinda sad that we can't try out ALL the good stuff there is still, like the Mee Hun Kuey in Berkeley Garden or the Chee Cheong Fun in Meru Berjaya... But heck, there definitely will be a next time for them to come here again! >=)

Hanging out with the gang really makes me thankful to God for blessing me with such wonderful friends... My life will be SO different and dull without them around! Oooo I'm so eager for my next trip now after EOS 3 (if all goes well)... A trip to Kota Kinabalu, and perhaps even Labuan or Brunei! Guys, better prepare the place for my arrival when I come! Lol...