Sunday, January 30, 2005


"There was a time, when the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan.
Then the next thing I knew, a wave 20 feet high
Came and washed your whole country away.
And all at once, you can hear the screaming chinks.
And no one was saved from the wave.
There were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away.
You can hear God laughing, 'Swim you bitches swim.'

[Chorus]"So now you're screwed. It's the tsunami,
You better run and kiss your ass away. Go find your mommy.
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head.
And now your children will be sold. Child slavery."

The above song, entitled the "Tsunami song", was played in a particular radio station in the US a few weeks ago, with the melody of "We are the world". It isn't the blatant racism that shock me... I'm completely dumbstruck but how can people make fun of such an awful tragedy that have killed 200,000 people and leave millions without home and other needs. Wat was the DJ thinking when she airred this song?! How would she feel if there's a "Sept 11 song" with lyrics like "The whites were falling from the heights, screaming as they were thrown down burning, you can hear the angels sing burn u devils burn"?!

I myself am incredibly saddened by the Sept 11 incident and the tsunami tragedy, and when I saw how people all over the world donates and give voluntary aids to the victims, I'm so touched that I actually have a tiny hope in the humanity when once I thought that we're a selfish and self-destructive species. But this song... sigh...

This is wat I honestly think: as much as the DJ has apologised for playing that song, it's too late to change a fact: She's not qualified to be known as a human being.

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Sorry for the lack of updates. For the entire week, I've been having hospital and clinical posting at Kuala Kubu Baru and Serendah, far far away at Hulu Selangor. It'll all only end on next Monday, but since Eve wants to return to Klang, I juz hitch a ride in her car back home. I'll have to return to KKB tomorrow though.

I'll post an entry on the clinical rotation at KKB after I return next Monday. Sufficient to say now that it has been a really educational trip, and I get to know some of my friends better... which is ironically, a double-edged sword. Spending some time with some of my friends I used to have conflict with revealed to me that people may not be as bad as they seem to be, and having long hours of talk with a friend of mine makes me realize that how blind I was for not knowing that I have such a wonderful person as my friend for all these time and how amazingly stupid I was for not really appreciating him for the past 1 year. I could not ask for a better friend and a dearer brother-in-Christ. He is truly a blessing from God, and I truly thank God for that!

Or the uglier side, there are some friends whom I've nv seen their ugly side until now... I dun really mind ppl's weaknesses or flaws, but people who behave directly opposite of what you held high, ppl who's totally against your principle... that's entirely another story.

Well, I guess I'll saved that for another day.. It's dinner time now! Oh btw, my younger sister (13 y.o.) has started her own blog some time ago.. I find it kinda disturbing that she actually think and feel so much for things... To me, she has always been my little sister, an innocent kid.. Blogs juz have this wonderful ways of revealing others' true self, dun they?

Sunday, January 23, 2005


when I ask you to listen to me
and you start giving me advice
you have not done what I asked
when I ask you to listen to me
and you begin to tell me
why I shouldn't feel that way
you are trampling on my feelings
when I ask you to listen to me
and you feel you have to do something
to solve my problem
you have failed me
strange as that may seem
listen! all I ask is that you listen
don't talk or do----just hear me

Ralph Roughton
Hmmm... Maybe I should learn a thing or two in the poem... But I wonder, how to show concern if u're juz gonna keep quiet listening to someone's problem without giving any attempt to help? I sense conflicts with my principles here... Hmmm...

Friday, January 21, 2005


Went to 1U yesterday to see Thomas Kinkade's art gallery (all reproduced, of cuz) that Tim heaped so much praises about. The name sounded strangely familiar, then I remembered that a friend of mine, Melissa, is a big fan of the artist too. When I finally see the paintings... well, let's juz say that I'm not very impressed. Not at all.

All of his paintings depict buildings and tranquil scenery. And the supposed greatest thing about his paintings is that in different intensity of lightings, the setting of the paintings seemed to changed. For instant, in bright light, one of the paintings seemed to show a busy town early in the morning. When the light is slightly dimmed, the sky seemed to turn slightly reddish and the clouds seemed to bathed in gold. Pretty nice trick, but to me, that's all it is. A nice gimmick.

I'm not saying that his paintings are bad. Quite the contrary. All his paintings are painted beautifully... yet they all seemed hollow. In my opinion, his paintings seemed to lack... how do I put it... an essense. It's as if as beautiful as his paintings are, they look... still. Lifeless. Which is why I find them so uninteresting. Also, the extent of how commercialized his paintings are sort of make me think lowly of his arts.

But as we're leaving the place (oddly, all my friends seemed to really enjoy his paintings), there's this one painting that caught my attention. It's a portrait of a few flowers in a vase, and to me, that's the best painting I've seen in the entire gallery. It kinda reminded me of Vincent van Gogh's Sunflowers.

It was then when I started to reflect about why I like Vincent van Gogh's art so much. The first painting of his that drew my attention was Cafe Terrace at Night (1888). There's a painting (reproduced, of cuz) of it hanged in a certain bakery shop, Corner's Bakery, at Bandar Baru Klang. I remembered (fondly, I must admit) of how I go there to buy some bread and ended up examining the painting, totally absorbed in my fascination of it. Heck, I even considered going to the bakery often juz to look at the picture!

OK, let me be frank, I'm no artist. I can't write a very good review of how good the painting it etc. But wat really striked me in this particular painting is how alive it looks. The starry sky, the glow from the cafe illuminates the all the tables and chairs outside, people eating there, a carriage moving towards you... There's this sense of life in the painting. The golden light that shines so brightly in the starry night, and people moving about their lives... I dunno how to described the wonder I felt when I 1st seen this painting. And then there's the strange but interesting broad strokes that has become so characteristic of Vincent's art... That is when I got interested to find out more about the artist who paints this.

Since then, I've learned much about him, how he got influenced by Impressionism, and he have a great interest in Japanese art, and how he went mad in the last years of his life, and eventually killed himself. I've seen many of his paintings (again, reproduced ones... Sigh...), including the famous Starry Night (which inspired the song Vincent), but I still held Cafe Terrace at Night
as my fav painting from him, and also my fav painting of all.

Hmmm... I'm supposed to write an entry about Thomas Kinkade, and I ended up writing about Vincent van Gogh pula... Oh well, sufficient to say, I love art bcuz of its essence, not bcuz of its effects. I guess that's y I'm so attracted to abstract and impressionist paintings.

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


Today is officially the day I leave the P stickers behind! I've finally have a competent driver's license! Hurray! And my, they process my new license really fast! Hopefully civil services will improve like this!

The Golden Globe Winners results are out. Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind is nominated in 4 categories: Best Musical/Comedy, Best Musical/Comedic Actor, Best Musical/Comedic Actress, Best Screenplay... and lost all of them! Boo-hoo-hoo...

And as expected, Meet the Fockers IS vulgar and crude. I'm shocked that it could get a U rating in M'sia! There's merely a few uneasy chuckle among the audience when some of those bad jokes are shown. But still, Meet the Fockers is not really THAT bad, juz that I can't stand all those toilet jokes. The characters are quite interesting, I must say.

For the 1st time since quite awhile, I throughoutly enjoyed my holidays. Really looking forward for Jody's visit to Klang (again) tomorrow!

Monday, January 17, 2005


In essentials, unity; in nonessentials, liberty; and in all things, love.
Moravian Church motto
I really love the motto of the Moravian Church, one of the earliest Protestant church, formed long before the Reformation. I've always have the problem of compromising between freedom of Christians to worship God in their own unique way (whether is it ecstatic and spontaneous or calm and reflective, solemn or energetic etc), and faithfulness on biblical teachings. The motto above summarized everything so perfectly in such an elegant and simple manner!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005


The following is an excerpt from an article written by a 3rd med student named Rachel Hepherd from the University of Leeds, and it's about pre-exam life in med school. Somehow I find it comforting that med students from the other side of the globe feel and behave almost the same way as I do now too. Maybe it's bcuz it give me an assurance that I'm not the odd one out in med school for feeling increduosly stupid and incompetent among my peers, heehee. Enjoy guys! ;)

The week before

Preset room to about 17°C - if there is no working radiator in the room (as in most student accommodation) then improvisewith suitable layers of clothing.

Put all those good intentions to one side.

Bored already? - take a trip downstairs and prepare a hot beverage, chat to your housemates, then reluctantly return to your room

Finally open a book. The first topic seems so unfamiliar that you have to check the subject syllabus to make sure you need to learn it.You do (as is usually the case).

Spend a copious amount of time writing out perfect notes on the particular topic.

Six hours have now passed and three pages of perfectly condensed notes have been copied from the textbook. This is now the time to panic as you look back over the list of topics and slowly realise that the topic you have just spent the last six hours toiling over is one of 25 topics, all as gruelling and similar in complexity.

Telephone a colleague. He or she is just as stressed as you are and together you decide that perhaps three or four heads are better than one, and a group revision session may be your best sporting chance of cramming two years of information into a few days .

Five minutes later your colleagues arrive with books and notes in hand. After spending the first half hour telling each other about how stressed you are and how everyone is going to fail, you start to quiz each other on things you've learnt
Arghh! Everyone else seems to know much more than you do. You decide that this public display of lack of knowledge is not going to help your exam performance, so continue for the rest of the week studying on your own, filling in chunks of missing or lost notes from 9 am lectures.

The night before

By this time there are no nails left on your fingertips. You can't eat for fear of vomiting. Your notes seem alien to you. All you can do is sit and hope. An all night session is on the agenda, but you are so exhausted that you fall asleep at 2 am.

The end result

Who knows, only time will tell. The thing to remember is that thousands of medical students undergo this cruel ritual every year (including myself), and most of those do indeed pass. Don't give up hope.

Monday, January 10, 2005


I juz visited Christabel's blog (she haven't updated it for the longest time!) and guess wat music was played at the background? Radiohead's Fake Plastic Trees! I was like, "Am... am I hearing... wat I'm hearing??" I'm so touched... *sniff*

U rock Chris! >=)

To those who dun get it, go read my last post. =p

Check out Chris' hilariously lame "breaking news" on her blog! Lol.


A huge crowd of people gathered just outside the palace, waiting eagerly for the emperor's procession to begin. It is announced that the emperor will be wearing a magnificent suit, with such a beauty that is unmatched in the history of mankind. It is also said that the clothes have an interesting property: They are invisible to those who are stupid and lack good taste in fashion!

Suddenly, the trumpets blared, announcing the beginning of the procession. The crowd pushed forward, eagerly anticipating the wonderful clothes, trying hard to imagine juz how beautiful the clothes are. Five dozens soldiers marched in the front, followed by a roofless carriage with the emperor on it, waving proudly to his subjects. All the people ther are inwardly shocked, for they all see that the emperor have no clothes on him! Yet, unwilling to be call a fool or a tasteless person, they all exclaimed, "What a pattern! What colors! Such luxurious clothes! Amazing design! It's out of this world!"

In the midst of the faked cries of admiration, a shrill voiced shouted, "But he doesn't have anything on!!!" At once, everybody turned to look who shouted that stupid sentence. They found out that it was a young boy, and they laughed at him, hurled insults at him, and silenced him. They continue to marvel at how beautiful the emperor's clothes are, and soon after the procession, everyone wanted to hire the weavers who have designed the emperor's clothes. Many of the nobles and the wealthy paid heavily for the weaves' service, and although all of them looked as if they're naked, they parade proudly on the streets, showing off their beautiful suits! In a few days time, it became a trend, and everyone walked around the streets naked! Stores stop selling all of the "outdated" clothes, and on each shelves, they sell hundreds of invisible suits instead!

But of course, there was never a suit on the emperor! The sneaky weavers have deceived everyone by telling them only fools can't see the clothes! But as no one dared to stand out to protest that there was never any clothings on the emperor in the 1st place, everyone forced themselves to believe that the clothes are simply gorgeous, so that they won't be exposed themselves as a fool. In time, as almost everyone have totally believe the lie that what they were wearing are real and extremely gorgeous, the lie seemed to become truth...

...All except for that young boy and a few others like him. They truly can't see anything, but ironically, they are not the ones who are the fools. It is the majority that are complete imbeciles, but since it's already an accepted fact that what they are wearing are gorgeous and only fools can see them, the boy and people like him (the minority) are perceived as pariahs and fools, and they keep laughing and hurling insults at them when the minority resist to wear like them, and insist on wearing clothes that they design for themselves...

And though this happened centuries ago, and the invisible clothes trend have been completely wiped away from everyone's memory, the same observation can still be made. People listening to all these amazingly unbelievably talented singers, like Westlife, Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears, heaping praises all over them, and even come close to worship them. And interestingly, the minority persists too, despite all the harsh persecution from the majority. They find delight in alternative artistes like Radiohead and Björk, and celebrate all the daring musicians who constantly push the boundaries of music, some even successfully redifing them...

And what do the majority say to these minority? They just keep on teasing the minority annoyingly by singing the phrase "Yesterday I woke up sucking a lemon" with a bad imitation. And therefore, the minority becomes more and more withdrawn when it comes to their "taste in music", and can only live on bitterly knowing that all these "great music" the majority are talking about are mostly garbage whom the majority held high as excellent music.

But persist the minority has, and their numbers keep on increasing as the days past. Who know, one day, one fine day, they may overturn the table, and all music will be cleansed and become beautiful again, a celebration of humanity. One day...


Credit: The story above is inspired by a consumer's review on Björk's newest album, Medulla, on You can view it here. Note: I totally respect his opinion, and the story above is not a hostile reaction towards his review, since even I myself have some difficulties getting used to Medulla. It is his reference that gives me the idea!

P.S.:This is probably the 1st fiction I've ever written!

Sunday, January 09, 2005


CLASS REUNION: Getting together to see who's falling apart. (GRAFFITI)

I was struck by the timeliness of the above "definition" when I was reading the papers today. 2 of my high school friends organized a joint birthday party at a mamak stall at Klang on Friday. At first, I decided to skip it, since I have to attend my CG at Vista (the last time we meet was more than a month ago!). After CG, I called my friend to see if the party is still on.. To my surprise, it was, eventhough it was 2 and a half hours past the start of the party! Figuring that I have nothing else to do anyway, I decided to return to Klang and attend the party, as late as I was. "Better late than never."

It was a wrong decision.

Mingling among the crowd of ppl that were my ex-classmates (some for more than 5 years!), I have nv so painfully aware of how lonely I was there. They did talked to me and asked me how I'm doing and such, but I can't help but feeling that they only do so bcuz it's expected for them to do so, not bcuz they are interested or anything. And to my horror, I realized that I feel the same way too! I dun care if one among us has been awarded the Nobel Prize, nor do I give a damn if one of them have been jailed for killing someone. Seriously!

I used to think that I'm a loyal friend, that once I get to know someone well, they become a part of me, apart of who I am... I'm not sure bout myself anymore. Heck, even chatting online with an old friend felt more like a chore sometimes! What is happening to me?

Maybe it's juz that I've nv connect deeply with them, maybe I was nv connected to them. But that's hard to believe. How can I spent 5 years in that school not building any strong friendships there? What exactly happened in that 5 years? Was I so much of an outcast then? Have I let myself slip all my past memories? Where were the joy and sorrow instead of a hollow emptiness? What's wrong with me?!

I dun feel like attending all these stupid functions anymore. Man, I feel so disconnected with everyone... and so lost... So so lost...

Saturday, January 08, 2005


I was wandering around Carrefour when I noticed an interesting phenomena. Right in front of me is an arrangement of 2 different flavours of Dutch Lady Milk: Full Cream Milk on the left side, and Low Fat Milk on the right side. By observing the arrangement of the cartons, it's obvious that they were originally arranged in a symmetrical way, i.e. there were equal number of both types on display.

But wat I saw then was that the full cream milk were half gone, while there were hardly any low fat milk that was sold. I stood there, thinking sadly how many people aren't aware that how unhealthy the full cream milk is, with its high fat content and such... Dun they know that they'll get hypertension and all sorts of crap if they go on drinking all these high fat stuff?

I sighed to myself, pitying all the ignorant fools, and proceed to grab a carton of Dutch Lady's full cream milk and walked towards the counter.

Saturday, January 01, 2005


2004 is coming to an end... And this is definitely the least happening New Year's Eve. No celebration due to the tsunami thingie and such. Really, although I sympathise with our PM's decision to cancel all countdown celebration and replaced it with remembrance and prayer instead, I dun really support it. The tsunami incident was really tragic, so why shouldn't we welcome a new year full of hope instead of reflection?

Anyway, here are few of my favourites for the year 2004:

Favourite movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Truly, besides The Incredibles, this is the ONLY good movie I've watched that came out this year. One of the few movies that can bend your brain and break your heart at the same time. Funny and touchingly romantic, the performance by both leading stars, Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet (espeacially Kate), are very impressive. Can't wait to watch the next movie by scriptwriter Charlie Kaufman! That guy is truly a genius to be able to conceive all these crazy ideas!

Favourite new artiste: The Darkness

Rock was never so fun & over-the-top! And to top it off, lead singer Justin Hawkins has an amazing voice! He sings high than many of the female vocalists I know (not Mariah Carey, of cuz). I still can't understand why they weren't nominated for the Best New Artiste category in the Grammys!

Favourite books:

The Purpose-Driven Life & The Heavenly Man
2 books that have tremendous impact on my Christian life. Thanks to these books, I've grown a lot spiritually this year! Highly recommended to everyone, whether u r Christians or not!

Animal Farm
A innocent-sounding novel, izzit not? The book is actually an allegory of the Russian Revolution. The animals in a farm, lead by the pigs, revolt against the farmer for mistreating them. After they successfully chased the farmer and his family away, the pigs resume control, and set up idealistic laws that sounds fair to everyone. Yet slowly, the laws are twisted, and thru fear and propaganda, the pigs' power becomes greater and greater, till eventually, they resemble the farmer as before. A really insightful story on how the Russian Communist failed to archieve their supposed idealism, but a really depressing read though. Seeing how helpless all the animals are against the tyranny of the pigs is really really sad.

A really interesting novel that bares the more human side of doctors, or as the book calls it, "wounded healers". I espeacially like the parts that deal with med school life and the politics surrounding the character's professional lives after they graduate. The realistic (albeit slightly dramatized) portrayal of doctors are really interesting, and the euthanasia issue discussed in the book is quite an eye-opener too. The rather rushed and underdeveloped ending is a tremendous disappointment though. Nevertheless, I highly recommend this book to all med students! (Juz ignore the romance element... damn annoying!)

Most interesting experience: Scuba-diving

Man, scuba-diving is definitely one of the most exciting thing I've done in my life! It wasn't relaxing and easy though, quite challenging to be honest. I still remember how many of us actually regretted doing this for our electives during the 1st couple of days! Lol. But when we're dive past all those beautiful & strange-looking corals and see fishes of different shapes and sizes swimming all over us, the awe and wonder we all felt are undescribable! I'm definitely going back to Tioman to continue with the advanced course! Let's juz hope that the tsunami hasn't destroy all the beautiful corals there! (Touchwood!!!)

Most embarassing moment:
Entering a stranger's car, thinking it's mine!

Well... Click here for the full story... Lazy to type the whole thing again!

And there u have it! All my personal highlights of 2004! Of cuz there are other stuff such as getting accepted to med school and all that, but I've spent too much time typing all these already. Someone said that if u do something really hard on New Year's Eve, u'll be able to so for the rest of the year. So I'm going to study now! Hahahahaha...

Happy New Year everyone!!!