Things are becoming obvious now. I've spent the whole year in limbo, and now I finally see - I have a decision to make.
Now I have to choose between surrendering myself to nihilism (Nietzsche's words are incredibly seductive), or taking a Kierkegaardian leap of faith to... only God knows where. The tension of having to choose between the two extremes is causing an unbearable anguish within me: I've been neglecting my everyday life.
But one thing's for sure: I'm losing my religion. I can no longer hold on to my old beliefs. A change must come; which one?
