I've finally take the leap: I hereby abandoned whatsoever dogmas and doctrines I have ever hold concerning Christianity, and start from scratch again to reconstruct the Truth by first reading it from the bible (with no outside intervention including commentaries, friends and pastors), and then trying to make sense out of it by synthesizing them. And throughout the process, I will keep Kierkegaard's instruction in mind: I will not study the word like a scholar would, constructing an elaborate structure of rules and doctrine but inhabit in my own world and totally detach myself from all of it, but to fully internalize these truths by turning them into actions instead of mere thoughts/beliefs.
So to start off, I will study up the very foundation in which Christianity is based: the 4 gospels. I've already started off with John, and I will report my findings concerning each gospels as I go along.
Ah, a fresh beginning... I can hardly wait!
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