How does one hope for the best, and still prepare for the worst simultaneously? Living with the two extremes constantly in my mind has lead me into a chronic, relapsing depression for the past couple of weeks, as the strain of living with these two extremes in mind caused a sort of tension in me that I have never experienced before.
I want to hope for the best and continuously have faith that it will happen, for did God not say that if you have faith as little as a mustard seed, you can move mountains? Yet at the same time, how would I know that if by constantly hoping for the best from my perspective, that I'm not denying God's will? Should one stick to an outcome in mind and pray rigorously for it, or should he just resign everything and leave everything into God's hands?
Abraham, Abraham, I can't never understand you. How did you managed to be both the Knight of Infinite Resignation AND Knight of Faith at the same time? How can you obediently go forward with the order to sacrifice your son whom God promised will continue his line as the father of nations, yet at the same time have not even a single strain of doubt that God will not break his promise? How did you managed to live with such contradictory extremities and yet, completely un-plagued by doubts?
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