From Words to Deeds

Reading thru Jesus' parables, I'm amazed by how his words can stir my heart in such a powerful manner, compelling me to act accordingly. And what's more interesting, it stops right there, giving you complete freedom, and full responsibility, to decide how you react to them.

It is that very transition, from words to deeds, that many men falter. It's easy to feel enlightened and moved, but it takes courage and convictions to venture a decisive act, using Kierkegaard's (o-so-poetic) phrase. God/Christ/the Holy Spirit can go far to stir our hearts, but in the end, each individual has to will himself to the ultimate expression of his faith - in his actions.

Submission/ Cooperation

What is the ideal God-Man relationship? One of submission, or one of cooperation? From my own experience, it's always been an ambiguous combination of both. There are times when I knelt prostrate before God, seeking his guidance and forgiveness, and there are times when I feel as if I'm fighting against temptations by actively focusing my will towards the Word of God.

This self-God dichotomy often confuses and frustrated me. When should we let go and rely solely on God, and when do we exercise our faith and will to remain true to the Way? The answer to that has always been elusive to me, like trying to snatch the fog into my hand. Where exactly does the individual and God meet?

Renewal

There's nothing left to seek, it's time to act. Once again, I'm plunging into the unknown. But it feels different this time. I'm more confident in my steps now. Lead the way o lord. Be the light on my path.

Damned if You Do, Damned if You Don't

When the truth hurts, should I keep it to myself, and spare others from being affected by it, even if it means I have to be dishonest to myself? Should one ever jeopardizes his integrity for the sake of others? Should the self seek to reconcile with himself first, or exists in perpetual harmony with his community? Bad faith, or social responsibility?

Choices. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. The future is a black unknown, and when the decision is made, the consequences will fall into places accordingly. Everything in its right place.

Loser

If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back.

- JC

Ah such a beautiful ideal. Transpose this to my everyday life:

If someone manipulates you for their own gain, let yourself be manipulated. Don't retaliate, no, don't even resist, even when you are completely aware of how you are being used, just follow the leash lead.

When someone asked to take a look at your logbook which you have meticulously completed with all the attention to details, you will gladly surrender it to them; Knowing that all your hard work will almost certainly be plagiarised within minutes, & completely aware that if discovered both you & that someone will be in deep trouble.

That my friends, is the way of Christ. The way to freedom. Hah, no wonder the world scorn at Christ. To be like Christ, is to be trampled by anyone who wants to take advantage over you, without even putting up a fight. Just as the charismatics love jumping around, claiming they are invincible with God on their side (& all that kind of nonsense), "Christians" around the world are fooling themselves & don't see what it really means to take up the cross & deny thyself -

To be a complete loser.

...Dare I strive to be that kind of person?

The Way: Intro- or Extraversion?

What is the Way? Perfecting the self & chasing after the divine, or love & charity to others? 'Both' is a great theoretical answer, but I've encounter no such living example yet. To manifest the innermost passion into a practical social interaction seems like an impossible feat.

The tension of trying to achieve both at once is strenous to me. Perhaps I've been doing it the wrong way? Did Christ not said, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light"?

Zealousness for God & good intentions to others do not strike me as an existential answer to the meaninglessness of life. What is the 'more' that I've been missing?

Dark Times Ahead

Is the world falling away from me, or am I falling away from the world?

Who's holding the driver's wheel? Definitely not me.

Am I stuck in a quicksand? Or am I moving at full speed towards oblivion?

. . . . . .

Great. I'm entering another Dark Age again. Like how I was before I found Christ, and another one before I found Kierkegaard.

Excuse me as I disappear/go into hiding for awhile.

Dark times ahead.

...to stupefy themselves...

“People go to church for the same reasons they go to a tavern: to stupefy themselves, to forget their misery, to imagine themselves, for a few minutes anyway, free and happy."

-- Mikhail Bakunin

This is probably one of the funniest quote I've ever came across which I also find most incredibly true - as I can personally testify for that. I am amazed myself with how far we're willing to deceive ourself in order to feel insulated, belonged and happy in a community.

"This has to be said; so let it now be said. Whoever you are, whatever in other respects your life may be, my friend, by ceasing to take part in the public worship of God, as it now is (with the claim that it is the Christianity of the New Testament), you have constantly one guilt the less, and that a great one: you do not take part in treating God as a fool."

-- Soren Kierkegaard