1ST SIGHT OF A CADAVER

Finally! After studying medicine for almost 2 years, I finally lay my sight upon the 1st cadever I've ever seen in my life!



Quite an eye-opener trip to UKM really, seeing all the dissected bodies for the 1st time. It's really great that I can finally actually feel all the textures of the muscles and organs after studying them using books and models for 2 years. Got to see an enlarged testicle too, due to hydrocoele. And the prostate gland is much smaller than I imagined them to be! Lol.

The solution they use to preserve the bodies really is nauseating though. It reminds me of soured bread, but much stronger. I felt like vomiting after I was at the dissecting hall for about an hour or so! Lol. Anyway, I'm glad that I didn't need to learn anatomy using cadavers: atlasses and models are so much more convenient lol.

Oh I forgot to mention: this is the 1st time I ever drove to the heart of KL too! That's bcuz I missed the bus to UKM! Lol. And whoever that pass the form around should be spanked for writing the location as Hospital UKM instead UKM - those 2 places are really really FAR apart wei! Lol. One's near Cheras while the other is at the KL City Centre! Lol.

Having said all those, I sure do hope that I can get to see a fresh cadaver dissection one day, instead of those which has been soaked in formalin (or watever they use) for decades. Maybe I'll get to see some in the forensics department during my clinical phase... I sure hope I do! Somehow dead patients are so much more cooperative than the living ones... Lol.

RESPONSIBILITIES

I detest responsibilities.

They are like a cage to me - they limit my freedom. When I'm free of any responsibilities, there's limitless possibilities of how I can spend my time, and immense flexibility to my schedules. But when duties come, I have to forfeit so many of these potential possibilities and get stuck with the limited things I HAVE to do.

It is ok if I have nothing better to do, or better still, that I really wanna do it; but once you become a leader, you can't choose when to get involved and when to walk the other way anymore. You are expected to do the things that you are supposed to do, no matter how much you feel like doing it. That seriously sucks. I firmly believe that we should never sacrifice our freedom of choice for anything.

I know that it's about time that I learn to deal with my duties and be a responsible person, but I really hated being tied down by them. A bird has to fly to wherever ut wants, and heck I don't want any cage surrounding me if I can help it. Question is, how could I remove this cage that I have getting myself into? I should have being more stubborn and refuse all requests of taking up any form of long-term responsibilities.

It's funny how when you volunteer to help out with something, people really appreciate your efforts, no matter how little it can be; but if you are responsible for a task, how well you perform will determine people's perception towards you. If that is the case, I would rather roam freely around all these "zones of responsibilities" and only venture into them once in awhile when I feel like it. That way, I can have the satisfaction of contributing something without being tied down by the tasks at hand.

Now how could I resign without causing a havoc...

i'm bored of med school life. don't get me wrong, i still wanna be a doc, but i'm juz bored of the routine study life. i need so form of escapism. lepak-ing in shopping complex doesn't help.

can somebody get me out of here?

rAmBLinGs (sEriOUsLy)

i'm so sick and bored of myself i desperately need some form of reinvention new look new interests new lifestyle make new friends explore my surroundings try out new stuff demand the payments in time (or they'll juz drag on and on) stop getting broke try shisha perhaps clubbing (wat for i can't dance/drink/smoke) exercise more consistently (4 + 4 is a good start Thom for ur jogging) lap swimming non-stop non-stop (hold ur breathe) non-stop juz keep on going non-stop stamina need to be improved stamina more cardio weight resistance can wait juz focus focus focus on stamina focus on stamina stamina stamina u worthless piece of shit...

reinvent reinvent out out out u go show them what you fear distrusts yes responsibilities sucks i need to take care of myself 1st argh wanna drop them all but how who to resume (can i hide here?) where was the enthusiasm where where where Thom where are you can't recognize you (I'm lost at sea, don't bother me) where was the energy the naivete the (you you you) personality the individuality the comfortability with yourself you once have Thom Thom Thom why sever yourself from others why estrange yourself from your friends why why why...

at least i still have you... thank you, you're all i can cling to...

A QUOTE BY ROBERT BROWNING

Juz found an amazing quote in one of my books:

Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp.
Or what's a heaven for?

Robert Browning

ON TERRORISM

Imagine this: A lecturer who teaches u a secular subject (property valuation to be precise), who loves to watch the English Premier League, supports Manchester United, loves to joke around and consistently delivers interesting lectures... is in fact the most wanted terrorist in Asia, and is directly responsible for the deaths of 200+ innocent people...

Yes, I'm talking about Dr. Azahari, who recently died in a shootout - a former University Teknologi Malaysia lecturer, bomb making expert and mastermind behind the 2002 Bali Bombing which killed 202 civilians. Can u picture that? You enjoyed attending his classes, you remembered a funny joke of his, and you remember the time when he goes on and on about how the football team he support is the best there is... Scary as hell isn't it? None of his students nor his colleagues imagined him to be a fundamentalist: he does not wear any attires of religious significance, have long beards or anything like that. But here he is - a mass murderer of sorts.

I'm becoming more and more disturbed and worried about all these fundamentalist terrorism that has caused so many innocent deaths all over the world. Lately, al Qaeda juz named the Queen of England to be "one of the worst enemies of Islam", and warned against all British muslim leaders “work for Elizabeth, the head of the Church of England.” I'm totally dumbstruck by such stupidity. What the hell does the monarch got to do with their so-called "holy crusade" that makes her deserves the honour of being one of their worst enemies? I don't remember her killing any muslims or persecuting Islam in any way! Hell, who's their next target? In the end, they probably end up killing everyone in the world!

Juz how deeply infiltrated are all these terror networks into Malaysia? I'm not juz talking about all those obvious fanatics who called everyone infidels and eager to kill themselves up (and everyone around them, literally) for their sick "cause"; could there be more seemingly innocent individuals such as Dr. Azahari out there, who dwell amongst us and worked amongst us, currently plotting about how to make a spectacular display of mass slaughters of innocent people?

How safe are we now, in the face of all these bombings all over the globe, from all these insane ppl who claimed to be doing noble deeds by all the killings they've committed? God help us all...





Dr. Azahari

GHOST?

Have u guys watched Shutter? It's a Thai horror movie which, honestly, is rather mediocre and predictable. Anyway, the movie mentioned bout how some ghosts or spirits are caught in photos taken by everyday ppl. I wanna share with u guys a pic I caught myself with my Sony Ericsson K750i when I was in a eating place in Klang...



It was supposed to be a random innocent picture... but wat the hell was that blur thing in the middle? If u look at the top part of the blur, it does resemble a human face, doesn't it? Brrrrrr...

Be careful of taking random pics in the future guys... U dunno wat may showed up! :S

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy 22nd Birthday Keat!!!! XD Hope u'll enjoy the trip to Port Dickson later in the morning!!! (Sorry la have to go Port Dickson instead of all the wonderful beaches elsewhere since they're all fully booked hehe).

Guys, I'm leaving for Port Dickson on the 1st day of Hari Raya in the morning! Hope u guys enjoy ur holidays too! Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Deepavali (I know I'm late haha) to all! >=)