INDIFFERENCE

"I swear... to reckon him who taught me this Art equally dear to me as my parents, to share my substance with him, and relieve his necessities if required; to look upon his offspring in the same footing as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if they shall wish to learn it, without fee or stipulation; and that by precept, lecture, and every other mode of instruction, I will impart a knowledge of the Art to my own sons, and those of my teachers, and to disciples bound by a stipulation and oath according to the law of medicine..."

Excerpt from the Hippocratic Oath


I juz came back from Klang General Hospital (Man that place is huge! At least 4-5 times the size of Seremban Hospital, the only other government hospital I've been to!), brought my grandma there for an appointment with a specialist. I was delighted when he found out I'm a medical student, but almost instantly, I became disappointed when he's totally indifferent about it...

Well ya, there's nothing great about medical students, but I was expecting at least some kind of reaction towards someone who will enter the same career field as you, rite? Some encouragement, advice, or juz a simple chat would have been great! But no... He's totally indifferent about it. And I find that pretty odd... I myself am almost proud whenever I see a new batch of med students coming in (no, it has nothing to do with the impending orientation)! In fact, I'm always excited when I get to know another fellow med students!

Are all practioners like that, I wonder? Probably not, from wat I heard from my friends who went to all the good klinik kesihatan like Jinjang for their clinical posting, where the doctors are very keen on teaching... Mine at Cheras Baru is juz the opposite. Heck, the head doctor invited us to her room to tell us that they will not be teaching us anything, and the only reason we're invited into her room was to be welcomed! Sheesh... We were so bored after 2 hours there, we ended up watching Totally Spies! Imagine! A few med students in their white coats watching cartoon in the waiting area bcuz we have nothing at all to do, while our fellow friends were watching a doctor performing suturing or were taught how to read an ECG!!! Argh...

Oh well, I juz hope that I'll get a better clinic for my next posting. Heck, I'm even considering skipping the third visit there already. Wat's the point of going there when there's absolutely nothing to do and learn?

TSUNAMI!!!

Juz about 24 hours ago, I found out bout the tragic news that a massive earthquake has occured, and huge tsunamis have hit multiple countries all over South Asia, thanks to Christabel who's so "lucky" to be "at the right place at the right time" - She's in her 3rd day of vacation, and have juz arrived at Penang to witness the impact but not getting herself in any risk of danger (How lucky is that?). The death toll all over the countries have increases to shocking figures... The latest figure is 23,000 confirmed deaths... as compared to the initial figure of 2000+ yesterday!

I'm really saddened by all the images of destruction and grief all over the nations, and I really feel like doing something to help those poor ppl... Maybe we can start a donation drive when class starts next week... Will it be too late by then, I wonder? Well, better late then nv I guess...

FINAL GOODBYE

I came... It's been a few months since I last stepped in here... I still remember how I look around the hall downstairs fondly, cherishing the old times...

And now, much have changed. The people, the place. But not for the better...

These were definitely not the reaction I expect from them. It's been a long time since I was there... but why were there so little warmth? Well, not all of them are like that. There were some that were genuinely happy to see me again... But as for the others... Sigh...

Do I came back juz to confirm how detached I'm from them already? Where is the love? Maybe there wasn't any to begin with...

I've experienced and learned a lot since I last stepped into that place. But things seemed to be worsen there, eventhough on the surface, everything seemed fine... Wat went wrong exactly? Wat has been missing all these time?

Will I ever return there again? To be honest, I don't want to... Everyone that I've loved so much there, everything that binds me to that place... has gone... Who should I blame? Maybe it's me after all... Maybe it's my long absence that estranged me from them...

Ah well, I guess this may be the final goodbye then. It's been such a wonderful time, but I guess all good things have to end.

...I wonder wat will the next chapter be?

On the surface simplicity
But in the darkest pit in me
Is pagan poetry

Björk - Pagan Poetry

MILLENIUM ACTRESS

Eager to use my newly installed streamyx to its fullest potential, I've been rather desperate to download good movies and albums lately... My sadly, I hardly have the time to watch and listen to them all. The anime Millenium Actress, is one of them. I've heard about it since ages ago, and having seen all the "typical" anime (i.e. cool looking characters, lots of actions and chibi!), I've yearn to watch other animes that are "different"... And I'm delighted to say that Millenium Actress dun disappoints!

The story begins with a film director and a cameraman approached a once famous actress who has decided to life the rest of her life in seclusion, in order to film a documentary about her life. The director himself also happens to be a big fan of hers. As he passed a golden key to her, which she has lost so many years ago, memories stirred up within her, and thus she begin her enchanting tale concerning the golden key...

Ok, that synopsis barely scratches the surface of the anime. Wat I really like about the anime is how the line between reality and fantasy blurred as the aged actress told her stories. The roles she've played throughout her life seemed to parallel with her lifelong quest connected to the key, and sometimes it's hard to tell whether is she juz playing her role in a movie, or whether is she really seeking the man in her personal life. The fact that the director and cameraman started to appear in her story in imaginary or replaced roles makes the anime pretty interesting, and seemed to symbolized how absorbed are the two men in her story...

As I watch the show, I'm constantly reminded of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Both movies pushed the boundaries of their specific genre, and both are moving to the heart and involve thinking. There's very few movies, real-life or animation, that can do that. Millenium Actress is one of those!!! It's so realistic, and yet so surreal at the same time!!!

Let's hope more anime titles like these will come!

DISJOINTED ENTRY ON ORIENTATION

The committee for the upcoming M1/05 orientation has formed, and the OOs and SMs will soon be chosen... And oh how I'm filled with excitement and dread for the next orientation to arrive... Hearing how Reuben and Maria (the president and vice president) commented on how tame the last orientation was, and how Gagan promised to "give the juniors wat he get from the seniors during our orientation (damn u, Indra n gang!), WITH interest", I can't help but suspecting that the next orientation is gonna be really bad... Heck, Reuben even stated that the most important requirement for a committee member is not to be a pushover, i.e. he/she must not be friendly towards the juniors during orientation! There goes my hope of becoming the first aider committee...

I have a hypothesis. There are ppl who disregard the rules or rebel against it when the majority upheld the rule. The majority are firm on upholding the rules, and segregate or punish those who disregard it. The minority resented this restriction, and do all sorts of acts to show their contempt and frustration by sabotaging all kinds of stuff the majority upholds. But given an oscasion, juz for a short period of time, when these rules can be ignored legally without punishment watsoever, wat will happen to this rebellious minority? They would take full control of the situation... and guess what? They will do exactly as wat the majority did. Established their own rule, and silence or disregard all those who disobey their rule...

I've seen all these signs of twisted self-righteousness during the past orientations. There's nothing honourable about ragging the juniors, and therefore I can't help but resent the raggers (and pity the juniors) when they go on bragging about how much they've done and sacrificed for the orientation juz to make sure the juniors have a great time, and how unthankful the juniors are for not obeying their whims and stuff. Bullshit!

And now, an old forgotten rule will be imposed on the OOs: If any OOs adviced the juniors against attending any of the orientation activities, or at least avoid the nastier parts, they are to be dismissed as OOs at once, and are forbidden to take part in future orientations. Man... If there's any juniors who approached me and ask if they should come for the orientation, I really dunno wat I should tell them. To come would have mean that they'll get to know many friends, juniors and seniors, in that short period of time... but they'll have to go thru a really traumitizing time, when they're expected not to be "good sports", but also to perform all sorts of vulgar acts and stuff...

Gosh... I juz realized how disjointed my entry is... Oh who cares, that basically covers wat I think of the orientation. I still really wanna be a first aider though... maybe I'll juz join the first aid sub-committee then.

Someone suggested the orientation theme this time around to be "Love Is In The Air"... I find it hilarious! :>

I'VE SEEN IT ALL

Watched Dancer in the Dark with Bryan last week at Eve's place. Though the movie was kinda cliche and predictable to me, I must say that Bjork's performance is very very impressive. And I find the soundtrack "I've Seen It All" to be really really haunting too... The movie has a lousy male vocalist singing a duet with Bjork, but apparently in the soundtrack album, Bjork got to sing it with Thom Yorke of Radiohead!!! Man I'm definitely gonna try out the song ASAP!!!

Here's the lyrics to the haunting song...

I'VE SEEN IT ALL

I've seen it all, I have seen the trees,
I've seen the willow leaves dancing in the breeze
I've seen a man killed by his best friend,
And lives that were over before they were spent.
I've seen what I was - I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see!

You haven't seen elephants, kings or Peru!
I'm happy to say I had better to do
What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall!

And the man you will marry?
The home you will share?
To be honest, I really don't care...

You've never been to Niagara Falls?
I have seen water, its water, that's all...
The Eiffel Tower, the Empire State?
My pulse was as high on my very first date!
Your grandson's hand as he plays with your hair?
To be honest, I really don't care...

I've seen it all, I've seen the dark
I've seen the brightness in one little spark.
I've seen what I chose and I've seen what I need,
And that is enough, to want more would be greed.
I've seen what I was and I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see!

You've seen it all and all you have seen
You can always review on your own little screen
The light and the dark, the big and the small
Just keep in mind - you need no more at all
You've seen what you were and know what you'll be
You've seen it all - there is no more to see!

RETURN TO AWANA!

Went to Awana last weekends with my mum and her side of the family. Man, how much I love to go up to the hills!!! Awana is as tranquil as ever, though sad to say it seemed to look old somewhat, and not well-maintained. Nevertheless, I'm still really fond with the place. Since we arrived at the hotel early and cannot check in yet, I brought my sis and her friends (reluctantly... I feel like resting!) along with my bro to take a shuttle to Genting Skyway.

I was really annoyed when I see the long queue at Genting Skyway... My aunt was quite optimistic that we'll be able to get into the cable car in half an hour, but I confidently told her it'll take at least an hour (I queued up for 1 and a half hour once during Chinese New Year). I actually use the stopwatch function on my handphone to see how accurate my prediction is... And guess wat? It's timed around 1 hour and 5 minutes! Aha!

And oh my, the indoor theme park really have a new facelife already! I barely recognized the place except for a few landmarks- McDonalds and KFC! Most of the rides and stuff have changed already, not to mention to new shiny floor tiles! But I nv really hang around there at all. Instead, I brought all the kids straight to First World Theme Park, my fav place at Genting!!! That place is juz as crowded and lively as ever! Sent the kids to line up for some rides while me and my bro went shopping around for clothes!

Of cuz, any trip to Genting will not be complete without me doing wat I like most there... Drinking a warm cup of coffee out in the cold blasting wind at night! The differences this time is that I have a bunch of noisy kids tagging along with me and can't stop complaining how cold it was out there, and this time around, it was actually "raining"! No, u dun actually see any rainfall, but the wind was so moist all of us looked as if we've juz washed our hair! Ah how I love that wonderful moment... The peaceful and foggy enviroment, the cold blasting wind, the soothing warmth of hot coffee going down your throat... Man I can't wait to do that again!

After I went back to Awana, we have a walk around the golf course... At one corner of the building, we actually saw twenty over bats hanging on the ceiling in a fairly well lit place! This was the 1st time I get to observe so many bats resting so closely, and it's not evev a cave!!! That's one memorable moment!

Next morning, after the breakfast buffet, we went for archery at the Awana Sports Centre. Man, I dun realized how much I have improved since the last time! And of cuz, I wouldn't leave Awana without at least have a jacuzzi bath there! Too bad the water heater dun seemed to function properly though... Nevertheless, I really enjoyed it!

I really really enjoyed this trip to Awana... Let's hope that the SOS can all go there one day!

MED SCHOOL LIFE

A couple of ppl have approached me for the past few weeks to ask me about medical studies. One asked me whether study in IMU is good, and the other asked me if studying medicine is suitable for her daughter, and both asked if studying medicine is tough... Honestly, I find it very hard to answer all of their questions...

How's education in IMU?
Well, I can't really say it's bad, but it's not really terrific either. All I can tell them is that there's lots of independent studies involved... but isn't that bcuz I nv pay sufficient attention during lectures in the 1st place? And could I say the education level here is bad when I have studied here for almost a year already?

How's the lecturers in IMU?
I guess there's some good ones and some awful ones... I can't really say bcuz I nv have a good standard to compared to! But when my friend asked me whether izzit better for her to study in IMU or another med programme somewhere else, I really dunno wat to say... But I'm still adamant that we need to study anatomy using cadavers and not atlases and models, which sadly IMU dun provide.

Is life in med school tough?
To say no will be an outright lie. I've go thru so much stress in juz my very 1st year that I seemed to be almost immuned and used to it now (and to think that the worst is yet to come!)... So all I can say is be prepared to live a stressful life if you wanna enter med school, for stress will almost definitely become a normal part of a med student's life... But isn't this all due to my last minute studies???

Do u medicine is suitable for my daughter?
Whoa, that's one question that I definitely can't answer... Wat it takes to be a good doctor? Even I myself dun have a single idea yet so far... Wat is required from a med student? Consistent study time? Dedication? Discipline? Empathy? Intelligence? I have no idea...

I really feel compelled to enlighten them on these issues, since who else knows better on these issues other than med students such as myself? Yet at the same time, I feel inadequate to give them a good answer... I can't discourage them to aspire to become a doctor if I really feel so much for the profession of my choice rite? Yet I have to be honest to them to about the stressful life of a med student, and a part of me is compelled to warn them against entering med school so that they dun have to go thru all these stress!

So how am I supposed to answer them?! Argh...

SEM 2 SUMMATIVE ONE RESULTS!!!

“He’ll be here when he promised,” said I, “and not an instant sooner or later.”

And my words were true, for shortly after eight a hansom dashed up to the door and our friend got out of it. Standing in the window we saw that his left hand was swathed in a bandage and that his face was very grim and pale. He entered the house, but it was some little time before he came upstairs.

“He looks like a beaten man,” cried Phelps.

I was forced to confess that he was right. “After all,” said I, “the clue of the matter lies probably here in town.”

Phelps gave a groan.

“I don’t know how it is,” said he, “but I had hoped for so much from his return. But surely his hand was not tied up like that yesterday. What can be the matter?”

“You are not wounded, Holmes?” I asked as my friend entered the room.

“Tut, it is only a scratch through my own clumsiness,” he answered, nodding his good-morning to us. “This case of yours, Mr. Phelps, is certainly one of the darkest which I have ever investigated.”

“I feared that you would find it beyond you.”

“It has been a most remarkable experience.”

“That bandage tells of adventures,” said I. “Won’t you tell us what has happened?”

“After breakfast, my dear Watson. Remember that I have breathed thirty miles of Surrey air this morning. I suppose that there has been no answer from my cabman advertisement? Well, well, we cannot expect to score every time.”

The table was all laid, and just as I was about to ring Mrs. Hudson entered with the tea and coffee. A few minutes later she brought in three covers, and we all drew up to the table, Holmes ravenous, I curious, and Phelps in the gloomiest state of depression.

“Mrs. Hudson has risen to the occasion,” said Holmes, uncovering a dish of curried chicken. “Her cuisine is a little limited, but she has as good an idea of breakfast as a Scotchwoman. What have you there, Watson?”

“Ham and eggs,” I answered.

“Good! What are you going to take, Mr. Phelps–curried fowl or eggs, or will you help yourself?”

“Thank you. I can eat nothing,” said Phelps.

“Oh, come! Try the dish before you.”

“Thank you, I would really rather not.”

“Well, then,” said Holmes with a mischievous twinkle, “I suppose that you have no objection to helping me?”

Phelps raised the cover, and as he did so he uttered a scream and sat there staring with a face as white as the plate upon which he looked. Across the centre of it was lying a little cylinder of blue-gray paper. He caught it up, devoured it with his eyes, and then danced madly about the room, pressing it to his bosom and shrieking out in his delight. Then he fell back into an armchair, so limp and exhausted with his own emotions that we had to pour brandy down his throat to keep him from fainting.



“There! there!” said Holmes soothingly, patting him upon the shoulder. “It was too bad to spring it on you like this, but Watson here will tell you that I never can resist a touch of the dramatic.”

Phelps seized his hand and kissed it. “God bless you!” he cried. “You have saved my honour.”

“Well, my own was at stake, you know,” said Holmes. “I assure you it is just as hateful to me to fail in a case as it can be to you to blunder over a commission.”

Extracted from:

The Naval Treaty

Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

Ok... Let's see... I have my summative 1 results slip right before me now... Got it from Dr. Hirotaka Onishi, who commented that it was not too bad. I've tore the perforated lines at the side already... One remains now is the perforated line at the bottom...

[Deep breathe] I shall now proceed with tearing the last part of the line... Man, did I pass?? One third of us failed this test!!! Here goes...

* * * * * * * * * *

[Gasp]

B+!!!

Hurray!!! I pass!!!! YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS... Thank God!!!! Praise God!!!! YYYYAAAAYYYY!!!! Woohoo!!!! YES!!!

Phew... that's a GREAT relief... I was so confident that I'll fail!!! Haha... But I have to admit I dun do so well either. I'll enjoy my coming weekends as much as I can, and then I'll have to work much harder starting next week! A new beginning has come!!! I have finished my foudation studies, and system course will soon begins, starting with cardiovascular system!!!

It's a new beginning!!!!