How would one feel when he has finally settled an issue that has caused much depression to him for the past couple of years? I'm immensely relieved and content now. It's been years since I've been searching for the answer to my question, and now that I've got it, I can't help but wonder... Indeed, I'm ecstatic by the answer... but is that the right answer? Is this how it's supposed to be? Sigh... I guess that's another issue that arised after the last one is solved...
I wonder when till I can get rid of this "thorn in my flesh"... Perhaps it's for the best. That'll teach me humility and dependence on God... if only I can get rid of all my pride that has caused me so much pain. I think I know wat I have to do... but I lack the will, faith, and love to do it... I feel the same as the rich man who walked away sadly when he realized he have to give away all of his wealth to be perfect. Sometimes I juz hated myself for being such a thankless little brat, who's not willing to do so little for God, after all he have did to me... Sigh...
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