Thursday, October 28, 2004

FAILED?

Summative one is over... And for the 1st time, I'm very confident... that I'll fail. Seriously, if I can get a B, I'll be really really really happy and thankful. And I guess I won't go crazy or suicidal if I failed the paper... The funny thing is, I've done my very best, but somehow I juz can't recall the stuff that I've studied...

Maybe it's the overload of contents... plus the really short time constraint factor. I've covered everything, but all the info is juz too muddled to be retrieved during the test. Parasitology espeacially... I almost can't recall anything about it.

For now, I dun even feel worried or anxious or anything, since I'm almost 100% sure I'll flunk my test. Wat I'm really concerned now is how to save my summative two from yet another disaster... and the system courses that come after them...

Maybe I have to change my study tecnique... but how? It has nv failed me for the past 13 years... why now?? <=( Wat went wrong exactly??

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

NEWLY-KINDLED INTEREST

It's amazing how a lecturer can influence one's liking to a particular subject. I've always dislike studying epidermiology since SPM, mainly because it's full of boring figures that no one bothers to remember, and also it's full of names of diseases that meant nothing to me, juz names... until now!

I've heard many seniors complained on how Dr. Paul Chen tends to talk too much about the all the patients he came across and all the projects he's involved in the past instead of the lecture content itself, but I enjoyed every single moment of his lecture. The fact that he shared with us on all the interesting/sad cases of patients suffering/dying of different diseases painted a picture about the particular disease in my head. Now that I know something about how the disease affect some poor unfortunate souls, it's much more interesting to study about how it is distributed, and how much efforts have been channeled to wipe it out from the surface of the world.

Also, the fact that epidermiology is closely related to world history and the political and economical states of different nations make the lectures thrilling and absorbing too. I'm well aware that many of my batchmates juz can't stand medical history, such as the development of the field of pathology and vaccination, and how the Hippocrates' Oath evolve in time, but I really love every single detail of them. Perhaps my father's deep love in history has influenced me that deeply. Also, it's interesting to see how the incidence of diseases rise and fall during different periods of history, e.g. World War II; and how the mortality rate is differs for 2 nations eventhough it's the same diseases due to the healthcare sector.

Last but not least, my respect and admiration to Dr. Paul Chen have grown much since the last 3 lectures he have gave us. Previously, I only know about him when he gave us a talk about the roles of Christian doctors in CF, and I'm amazed at all the missionary experiences he has all over the world. Not only is he intelligent (he's a Harvard graduate!), he has lots of experience too from all the projects he have in the past, even WHO-related ones! It's sad that some of my batchmates skipped his lectures due to the coming exam or some other reasons... I juz have one of the best lecture so far in IMU!!!

So guys, next time to come for Dr Paul Chen's lecture!!! U won't regret it! >=)

Monday, October 25, 2004

ADDED LINKS & STUFF

Argh nothing to blog about lately... Spend most of my time studying, or trying to study... Oh well...

Added a few more blog links: Jun Jack (M1/03) & Pei Kheng (Pharmacy). *Updates!* I juz realized that my cousin, Teck Wei's blog still lives on! I thought he stop blogging for good since last year! Hmmmm... I'm seriously considering dividing the blog links into categories now... But most of the "Fellow Bloggers" are in IMU la... Dunno how to divide!!!

Oh I've also added links to 3 doctors' blogs earlier: Dr Cheah (Current issues - interesting read), Dr Liew (Absolutely hilarious!! Highly entertaining!!), & our very own Dr Timothy Sung!

Also make some minor changes here and there. e.g. U can now open a link with a new window! And oooo I really love that Cowboy Bebop pic!!!

And now, I shall go back to my studies on parasitology... Or at least attempt to!!!

Monday, October 18, 2004

DISSATISFACTION

I didn't want to blog about this earlier bcuz I think that it's a rather sensitive issue... And after I've learnt my lesson on how blogging can fuel misunderstanding and even anger, I choose to only speak out the more positive stuff on my earlier post... But deep within me, I really hate this restraint that is placed upon me by others, eventhough I sincerely believe that they have no right to do so... And so I'll juz post this anyway...

A lot of dissatisfaction and anger have erupted during the IMU Cup, and it reached a rather... messy climax during the closing ceremony. I'm always one who is against booing other people's achievement, but for this once, I have to admit, I really felt like booing myself. It is undeniable that all of us felt... cheated. I won't elaborate more on this, bcuz I'm not sure I got the whole thing right, but there's one thing I know for sure... I really really felt cheated by the whole thing, and I really hated the way the ppl in charge deals with the misunderstanding.

For those who dun get wat I mean... Try reading the following blogs: Yee Pei (18/10), Chia Meng (16/10), Shi Ching (16/10), Aiky (17/10). I will not elaborate further, bcuz I dowan to get suck into the whole factions thingie. All I wanna say is... I felt cheated, and rather dissatisfied with the organizing of the event.

UNBELIEVABLE!

A 14 year-old-boy went for a supposed computer course that was advertised in the newspaper. He was held captive there and was used as a guinea pigs of a series of bizarre experiments conducted by a doctor who practises traditional medicine and 4 of his accomplices, who were searching for some medical cure. The boy was also badly abused too, and was forced to do strenuous works, drink his own urine, and only given a meal per day. After 3 months, the boy managed to escape from the horrible place, and walked 90km back home and lodged a report to the police...

Sounds like a synopsis of a cheesy episode of The X-Files right? Guess where I read the story from? The Star! Yes, it's a true story! Check out the following links if u dun believe me:

Doc using kids as guinea pigs

Doctor put boy in torture chamber

Now isn't that shocking and sickening?! Worse still, it happened in Malaysia!! The doctor's "experiments" weren't juz unethical... It's totally inhuman! And all this while I thought things like this only happens in some cheesy TV series or during World War Two when the twisted Nazis do all sorts of bizarre experiments on humans as their specimens...

I hope the doctor and his accomplices will be punished severely for this outrageous atrocity! And I do hope all the kids will be rescued from that hell hole ASAP! How can a person as inhuman as the guy be a doctor?! This is seriously disturbing...

Saturday, October 16, 2004

MY 1st TRY OF ROJAK!

I planned to return to Klang right after the IMU Cup closing ceremony yesterday, but since that I've promised to drive my friend to SS 15 this morning, I stayed back at Vista for the night. I was surprised to see both Brandon and Yong Sian the next day, since I thought it was only Brandon who wanna go to SS 15 to settle some Broadband cancellation issues with Telekom. Missed the USJ turn when we drove towards Subang from IMU, and so we have to go thru lots of hassles and tolls to eventually reached SS 15... Argh...

And since I've already wasted so much time (and a little bit more money) for the ride, I decided to have lunch there at SS 15, and asked them if they could recommend me any good food around. Yong Sian asked if I like rojak... and I rather embarassingly told him that I've nv have rojak b4 in my life! He was kinda shocked and teased me a bit ("wat kind of Malaysian are u?!"), but I was really glad cuz he dun ended up OVER-teasing me for that, unlike some of my friends (u know who u r >=p), and he recommended a rojak truck stall opposite Shell station, juz next to Gazebo (another plave that I've yet to try out eventhough I've studied at Taylor's college for 1 year already, which is about 10 minutes walk away).

Since I've nv tried rojak b4, I ordered one which have everything in it, sotong, eggs, everything. And well... it's really good! I really like the mixture of hard crunchy texture along with the softer ones, although I can't really tell wat they actually are. The sauce is really good too, and apparently the rojak there is one of the best Yong Sian have tried. He also told me about another type of rojak too, which have fruits and black sauce instead... maybe I should try out myself someday! After the wondeful lunch, I dropped them at Club 7 and went back home. They invited me to join them, but I guess I'm much too worried bout my studies to enjoy a game of pool! Plus, I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke!

On my way back home, I realized that eventhough I've learned from my friends about lots of different food that I have yet to try out, I'm not willing to try them out myself without my friends' company. It is as if I want to have my 1st try of different to be memorable, like my 1st try of rojak at SS 15, and my 1st try of the rotating Japanese food thingie (I wonder of they have a special term for that) with my secondary school friends during one of them's birthday (sheesh the grammer sounds so wrong). I guess I'm that kind of guys who really give thoughts on how to make a memory really cherishable!

This is one of the memories that I will truly cherish for the rest of my life. The 2 of them are such good companies, that it makes me feel a bit guilty that I dun spend more time mixing around with them in uni... Well, I guess that's 1 of the drawbacks u have when u got accepted into a clique... But I'm looking forward for more beautiful memories to be shaped! >=)

AS IF THINGS WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH...

As if things weren't bad enough, I've received yet another bad new juz an hour b4 the cheerleading event: I've failed my CPR Theory Exam. And here's the irony: I'm an active Red Cresent Member for 4 years, officially recognized as a basic first aider (which includes CPR), and have even taught others on CPR... And I failed my CPR Theory Exam! Shit, this is so illogical, it's almost hysterically funny. Now I have to pay RM 40 for the resit and waste more time on studying that instead of spending more time revising for my summative one which I need to catch up, since I've been SO involved in the cheerleading practise for the past 2 months!

Well, anyway, the cheerleading event was full of surprises. All of the performing cheerleaders were so good that I almost felt that ours was so so inferior in comparison. And juz b4 our batch's performance began, one of us got to nervous and ended up having cramps on her arms, fingers, legs, and all other parts of her body. The event was delayed for a few minutes bcuz of that, and the poor girl was unable to perform (imagine, after all the hours and hours of practise.... sigh...), but the show has to go on, so we performed without her. And being the blur person that I am, I made 2 mistakes... Once I actually forgotten where I should run to next, and the other one was when I was unable to life a girl up using my left leg, since I was kinda shaky then bcuz my right leg felt kinda cramped after all the rushed actions. But many ppl commented we did fine then, so I guess it's ok la... Not that we expected to win the event or anything... Heehee

And now that it's all over, there's this question that I need to ask myself: Do I enjoy the whole cheerleading thing? Do I regretted signing up for it? Well, the answers for both questions are both yes and no. When I signed up for it, I nv knew how much commitment and time this is going to cost me. For the last 2 weeks, we've been practising for like 5 hours everyday (excluding weekends). All my study plans have gone awry. I dun even have the time to read thru/ understanding the lecture notes I have that day once b4 I start the revising/ memorising part for the lectures I have weeks b4. Heck, I spend more time revising my stuff in sem 1 than now! And considering that sem 2's summative 1 is infamous for its failing rate... I'll be dead for sure unless I work very hard starting today! Last night's study effort after the IMU Cup closing ceremony was excellent, and I hope that the momentum will carry on throughout next week!

But though I have go thru a lot of stress and strain for the cheerleading practises, I can't say that I dun enjoy it. It was a fun experience... only problem was it took too much of my time. The satisfaction that I've done my small part for my batch felt good. So, will I join the next cheerleading in the next IMU Cup? Well, it depends, I guess. If the practises begin earlier and lasts about 2 hours everyday, I dun really mind. But if there are other guys who are willing to join and there's not enough space for all of us, than I'll be more than willing to back out. My priorities should always come 1st: God 1st, Studies 2nd, others followed after that. So, ya, we'll see how things go in a years time then!

Congrats to all the winners of the cheerleading events, and also to those who have performed and unfortunately didn't win the game! All of u guys did great! The last event of IMU Cup was explosive! Looking forward for the next IMU Cup!

Friday, October 15, 2004

EVERYTHING'S WRONG

Why izzit that in all things that I do, some ppl will tell me that it's wrong? Wat that was normal b4 has becomed so abnormal and even rude to ppl now. It is as if I've stepped into a world with a totally different culture and etiquette. And where everyone is awfully defensive of wat they think is right and show no interest nor openess to other opinions, a world where ppl only desired to follow a comformity instead of exploring on how God created us to be, a world where almost everyone shun ppl who dun seemed to fit, ppl who are eccentric.

Although I have no emnity towards conventionality and norm, I sincerely despise ppl who despise others that are different from them, ppl who juz can't accept, no, tolerate ppl who dun talk and walk and do like them. I really can't understand... Isn't this world a better place with all the variety of ppl? It is to me, and I enjoyed the company of all kinds of ppl, with all kinds of personality. So why can't ppl juz be more... loving?!

To Anne (whoever u r): I'm sorry if u dun like the idea of AOT, but I do hope that u can be more open towards the differences of others. If u juz can't accept it, tolerate it then. Dun go on saying something that is so uncontructive and only brings about unhappiness and anger.

Argh... My inferiority complex is building up again... at a very wrong time it seemed, since it's only 5 and a half hour b4 the Cheerleading event and less than 2 weeks b4 summative... Help me God to walk thru this "valley of the shadow of death"!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

SLEEP SLEEP I NEED SLEEP

Been really busy lately... Cheerleading event is coming up this Friday and we still have yet to master & synchronize all the moves, Summative One is looming close (and the warnings of high failure rate by seniors constantly present in my head), PBL researches yet to be done (and an awfully unpleasent faci), parasitology with all the life cycles... Man I really need a break... and more sleep... My left eye kept quivering lately... Must be the strain...

Lost my watch during cheerleading practise on Monday... My precious Adidas watch which I've bought juz b4 I entered IMU... Left it in the badminton court at Vista B and when I returned 3 hours later to look for it, it's gone... The worse thing is, nobody gives a damn about it. Talk about empathy among medical students...

Well, I gotta continue with my PBL reseach now... Library is closing in 15 minutes...

Happy Birthday Dad!!! Sorry that I can't be there to celebrate it with ya! ;)

Monday, October 11, 2004

KING OR CRIPPLE

King or cripple what have I become?
Beneath these kingly robes there lies a fragile man
What made me a king can sometimes cripple
All that you give can sometimes rob my innocence

Why do you let us walk upon a cliff so steep
When deep below the sea there lies a bed of gold
And if this should be our battle place
Don't let me fall, don't let us fall

Keep me, keep me, keep me, keep me

I love to hold the hand of one who healed the blind
And saw the leper run into your arms of love
King or cripple, they were the same to you
You took the broken man and you treat him like a king

Delirious
King or Cripple

Sunday, October 10, 2004

BIRTHDAY CUM REUNION!

Went to airport to send my maid away (temporally for 3 weeks) at KLIA. Her father is gravely ill. Now that I think back about all the times she went back to the Phillipines since she started working for us 12 years ago, most of them has been quite sad... When her younger sis passed away, when her mother got sick, and later on passed away too... But there were also a few time when she went back juz for a month break or so. It's kinda sad that she won't be with us for the next 3 weeks, not juz bcuz she's a really efficient maid and cook, but also bcuz she's been with us for so long she seemed to be part of our family already! Sometimes we even watched TV with her and dicussed about them!

After lunch, I drove my secondary school friends Thian Meng and Wei Cher to celebrate the latter's birthday. Watched Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, which visual effects seriously rocks, though the characterization and story is rather weak. The jokes are good nonetheless. We were wondering about wat to eat for lunch (the 3 of us shared ONE McNuggets McValue set for an earlier light meal due to the lack of time!), when Thian Meng suggested that eating at Genki Sushi in Klang Parade right opposite my house. I've always been interested to try more Japanese food since my aunt brought me to a Japanese buffet at PJ Hilton, and so off we go!

This was the 1st time I actually ate at the kind of Japanese restaurant where the food moves along a rail and where we juz grabbed the food we wants from it. It was really interesting and fun, and the food was quite good too! Though I have to admit, I'm still not used to the taste of raw salmon yet... But I tried out some other stuff which I can't remember wat they're called, and I have to say it's rather tasty! And oooo how I loved drinking green tea! I'm gonna buy some soon and stock it in Vista!

I really enjoyed my 2 friends' company throughout the whole outing, since we rarely see each other nowadays. Despite that we were juz as close as b4, and the 2 of them are the only secondary school friends that I still keep in touch with. Though the time we spent together is rather short, I really cherished all of it. Maybe we should meet up more often in the future! I guess it's quite tough also la since we all have our own circle of friends in our respective campuses, but I'm really looking forward to our next outing together again! >=)

ALONE


From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then–in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life–was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Edgar Allan Poe
Alone (1830)

Saturday, October 09, 2004

STRINGS OF DISAPPOINTMENT

Ever since last nite, I've suffered from a series of disappointment. My sis was unable to download an anime that I've at first hoped that I can watch rite after I came back from IMU. The DVD I bought from the pasar malam at Sri Petaling, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, is of a lower quality than that I've expected. Wanna download some extra anime episodes, but nothing seems to work. Wanna watch the Metallica MTV Icon TJ borrowed me, but I've left it at Vista...

N guess wat, more disappointment today. Watched Eternal Sunshine, and although the visual quality isn't that good, it's passable... but the subtitle seriously is a joke. I watched the movie once b4, but I can hardly hear anything they say due to the poor audio quality. Turns out the DVD is juz as bad. Drove out to Klang Parade to buy some stuff for my sis' party tonight (I'm in charged of the games). It was only then I realized that a fren of mine has sms me to call him when I reach Sunway Pyramid. We planned to watch Resident Evil 2 since early this week, and I was really looking forward to it...

So I replied and asked wat time will the movie begins... Guess wat's the reply? It was 12.55pm then already, and he replied that the movie will begin at 1.10pm! He juz told me earlier to be at Pyramid at 2pm! I was so shocked when I read the msg that I'm stunned for awhile, sitting in my car, not believing wat I've juz read. I called him immediately, and he told me that another friend of mine was supposed to tell me about the change of time. I immediately called that guy next, and he told me to come at once, so he can passed me the ticket eventhough the movie probably will have begun by then. I told him there's no point of doing that, since by the time I reached there, the movie will probably end in 30 minutes time already...

Wat he said next seriously pissed me off: Too bad lo...

I was crushingly disappointed when I realized that I'm gonna miss the entire outing, but to know that he doesn't sympatise to me at all really angers me. I cut off the call and drove back with a really foul mood. I dun mind if there's a miscommunication, and therefore the entire thing is an accident. But to know that whether u being there or not doesn't affect a friend of urs at all is... bitterly disappointing. Yes, I know I demand a lot from my friendship with others, but that's only bcuz I do the same to them: I truly really seriously desire nothing but true authentic friendships with my friends... I've done all I can on my part, but to see so little response from most of my friends is... <=( And something inside my head kept on talking as I sit around sulking, waiting for my take away lunch: guess wat thom u're left out again like so many times before from countless ppl and u know wat i think this will go on for the rest of ur life and there's absolutely nothing u can do to change ur pathetic state u have only urself to blame for being so outlandishly odd and eccentric so why dun u juz go fly kite bla bla bla...

Paranoia paranoia...

But I guess I'll juz look at the bright side la... Now that I'm really mad, I can actually focus my attention on something... Maybe I'll juz spend my anger on studying my lecture notes then... I'm quite sure that it will work...

And dun be so down and moody Thom... There's still tonight's party to look forward to! Juz hope that the kids won't bully me for being a Mr. Nice Guy!

P.S. I'm still kinda frustarted on the restraints on posting up names... after all, this is my space of expression... but I guess it's better than starting up yet another conflict.

Friday, October 08, 2004

HONEYMOON SEMESTER SYNDROME??

I'm having trouble staying focus in my studies lately... Not that I dun like studying, it's juz that... I'm easily distracted... Perhaps wat the seniors said is true, that we relax more in sem 2 and 4 bcuz there's no End of Semester finals in both sems... But I've seen how much struggle and stress many sem 3 seniors have went through due to their lack of preparation in sem 2... And I constantly reminded myself how I'm certain to fail my summative one if my maintain my current studying condition till summative one... But somehow I juz lack the discipline to focus on my studies...

Also, I kinda regretted signing up for cheerleading already. It's really fun, I have to admit, but it juz takes up too much of my time! I seriously dun have much commitment towards it, and the only reason I kept attending the practises is bcuz I sympathise with those that sacrificed so much of their practising and coming up with ideas... and also not to embarass my batch for performing badly for the IMU cup of cuz...

But thank God I've been making progress in my studies since yesterday already. I hope to finish reading all the immunology notes by this week. Somehow I'm really reluctant to start my revising pathology... It's WAY to heavy for an enjoyable read. But I guess I have to revise it anyway sooner or later... let's juz hope I'll be able to get the hang of it.

More parasitology lectures coming next week... Let's juz hope it's not as tough as the seniors claimed it is!

Monday, October 04, 2004

THE FALL OF GONDOLIN

Well, since everyone seems to be crazy about paintings of dragons lately, I feel like sharing my fav dragon painting too:

Sauron, head lieutenant of the Dark Lord Morgoth then during the 1st age, leading his legion of dragons, balrogs, orcs and evil men, assailed the wall of Gondolin, the greatest Elven city on Middle Earth. The contrast of the white wall against the dark shadows of the evil legion and the redness of the lava and flame is gorgeous. Also, notice how the small figure of Sauron on the horseback seemed to emit a strong sense of command eventhough he's surrounded by gigantic and monstrous creature all around him. I still dunno wat that milipede thing is though... Dun remember that from reading The Silmarillion! Lol...


Saturday, October 02, 2004

"FANSITE" LAUNCHED...

Wat would u feel when someone started a blog that is wholly dedicated to ur weird and unbelievable antics? Should u feel flattered that u actually have some form of a "fan site" now, or should u feel horrified and worried that this blog will one day make a laughing stock out of u, that ppl's 1st impression of u (b4 they even meet u personally!) will be one of a joker, of a blur guy who runs around talking gibberish, hearing the most crazy things imaginable and suffered from fits of insanity from time to time?

I have no idea... But heck, the 1st post about my antics have been posted up, and... well, in a weird way, I'm actually amused... by my own behaviour and stuff! Somehow, I dun feel like as if I'm reading about myself, as if THE Thomas is some fictional character. Really, wat makes me says the thing I say?? I guess that's 1 question I can nv really answer for a long long time. In the mean time, I'll amuse myself by reading all the crazy antics... I've done myself?!

(Eh Thom, this dun make any sense la...)

(I know Thom, I know... But who cares? Thom's one funny guy!)




Proceed at your own risk...
of getting infected with my blurness!!