Oh, the "article" does contain pretty strong language... I'm sorry if it offended u, but I myself am almost as frustrated as the author himself too... Well, hope u guys enjoy it!
>Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from
>rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams,
>extreme virginity, fear of being kidnapped and
>executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not
>forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent
>to me by people who actually believe that if you send
>them on, then that poor fucking 6 year old girl in
>Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to
>raise enough money to have it removed before her
>redneck parents sell her off to the traveling freak
>show.
>
>Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to
>give you and everyone you send his email to $1000? How
>stupid are you? Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down
>this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every
>Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of fucking
>bullshit.
>
>So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all
>the people out there who have nothing better to do
>than to send me stupid chain mail forwards. Maybe the
>evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
>apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not
>continuing the chain which was started by Ceaser in 5
>A.D. and was brought to this country by midget
>pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the
>year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World
>Records for longest continuous streak of blatant
>stupidity.
>
>Fuck them!
>
>If you're going to forward something, at least send me
>something mildly fucking amusing. I've seen all the
>'send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this
>poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow
>receive a Nickel from some omniscient being forwards
>about 90 times. I don't fucking care. Show a little
>intelligence and think about what you're actually
>contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are
>it's your own unpopularity.
>
>
>THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
>
>Chain Letter Type 1:
>(scroll down)
>
>
>Make a wish!!!
>
>
>
>
>Keep Scrolling
>
>
>
>No, really, go on and make one!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
>Wish something else!!!
>
>
>
>
>
>Not that, you pervert!!
>
>
>
>
>
>
>STOP!!!!
>
>
>Wasn't that fun? :)
>Hope you made a great wish :)
>
>
>Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
>First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in
>the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat
>and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure.
>
>It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake
>ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's how it goes:
>
>*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off
>at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
>
>*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed
>off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
>
>*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed
>off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and
>may form a plot on your life.
>
>*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be
>pissed off at you for sending them a stupid chain
>letter and will napalm your house. Thanks!!!! Good
>Luck!!!
>
>Chain Letter Type 2
>
>Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see,
>there is a starving little boy in
>Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no
>parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be
>saved, because for every time you pass this on, a
>dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless
>Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen
>Fund.
>
>Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of
>counting the emails sent and this is all a complete
>load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5
>people in the next 47 seconds.
>
>Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to
>4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.
>
>Thanks again!!
>
>
>Chain Letter Type 3
>
>Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence
>since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because
>there was no email then and probably not as many sad
>pricks with nothing better to do.
>
>So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067
>people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible
>will happen to you like:
>
>*Bizarre Horror Story #1
>Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on
>Saturday. She had recently received this letter and
>ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the
>sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a
>drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out
>over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she
>died. This Could Happen To You!!!
>
>*Bizarre Horror Story #2
>Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in
>his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by
>a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing
>that way). They both died and went to hell and were
>cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity.
>
>This Could Happen To You Too!!! Remember, you could
>end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this
>letter to all of your loser friends, and everything
>will be okay.
>
>
>Chain Letter Type 4
>
>As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote.
>Send it to all your friends.
>
>FRIENDS:
>
>A friend is someone who is always at your side.
>
>A friend is someone who likes you even though you
>stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been
>eating catfood.
>
>A friend is someone who likes you even though you're
>as ugly as a hat full of assholes.
>
>A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've
>soiled yourself.
>
>A friend is someone who stays with you all night while
>you cry about your sad, sad life.
>
>A friend is someone who pretends they like you when
>they really think you should be raped by mad goats,
>then thrown to vicious dogs.
>
>A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums
>and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak
>much English...no, sorry that's the cleaning lady.
>
>A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters
>because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.
>
>Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex
>ever again!
>
>
>The point being? If you get some chain letter that's
>threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the
>rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it
>on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty
>about a leper in Karzakistan with no teeth, who's been
>tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only
>savior is the 5 cents per
>letter he'll receive if you forward this mail,
>otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?
>
>
>
>Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise
>you'll find all your knickers missing tomorrow
>morning!
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