INDIFFERENCE

"I swear... to reckon him who taught me this Art equally dear to me as my parents, to share my substance with him, and relieve his necessities if required; to look upon his offspring in the same footing as my own brothers, and to teach them this art, if they shall wish to learn it, without fee or stipulation; and that by precept, lecture, and every other mode of instruction, I will impart a knowledge of the Art to my own sons, and those of my teachers, and to disciples bound by a stipulation and oath according to the law of medicine..."

Excerpt from the Hippocratic Oath


I juz came back from Klang General Hospital (Man that place is huge! At least 4-5 times the size of Seremban Hospital, the only other government hospital I've been to!), brought my grandma there for an appointment with a specialist. I was delighted when he found out I'm a medical student, but almost instantly, I became disappointed when he's totally indifferent about it...

Well ya, there's nothing great about medical students, but I was expecting at least some kind of reaction towards someone who will enter the same career field as you, rite? Some encouragement, advice, or juz a simple chat would have been great! But no... He's totally indifferent about it. And I find that pretty odd... I myself am almost proud whenever I see a new batch of med students coming in (no, it has nothing to do with the impending orientation)! In fact, I'm always excited when I get to know another fellow med students!

Are all practioners like that, I wonder? Probably not, from wat I heard from my friends who went to all the good klinik kesihatan like Jinjang for their clinical posting, where the doctors are very keen on teaching... Mine at Cheras Baru is juz the opposite. Heck, the head doctor invited us to her room to tell us that they will not be teaching us anything, and the only reason we're invited into her room was to be welcomed! Sheesh... We were so bored after 2 hours there, we ended up watching Totally Spies! Imagine! A few med students in their white coats watching cartoon in the waiting area bcuz we have nothing at all to do, while our fellow friends were watching a doctor performing suturing or were taught how to read an ECG!!! Argh...

Oh well, I juz hope that I'll get a better clinic for my next posting. Heck, I'm even considering skipping the third visit there already. Wat's the point of going there when there's absolutely nothing to do and learn?

TSUNAMI!!!

Juz about 24 hours ago, I found out bout the tragic news that a massive earthquake has occured, and huge tsunamis have hit multiple countries all over South Asia, thanks to Christabel who's so "lucky" to be "at the right place at the right time" - She's in her 3rd day of vacation, and have juz arrived at Penang to witness the impact but not getting herself in any risk of danger (How lucky is that?). The death toll all over the countries have increases to shocking figures... The latest figure is 23,000 confirmed deaths... as compared to the initial figure of 2000+ yesterday!

I'm really saddened by all the images of destruction and grief all over the nations, and I really feel like doing something to help those poor ppl... Maybe we can start a donation drive when class starts next week... Will it be too late by then, I wonder? Well, better late then nv I guess...

FINAL GOODBYE

I came... It's been a few months since I last stepped in here... I still remember how I look around the hall downstairs fondly, cherishing the old times...

And now, much have changed. The people, the place. But not for the better...

These were definitely not the reaction I expect from them. It's been a long time since I was there... but why were there so little warmth? Well, not all of them are like that. There were some that were genuinely happy to see me again... But as for the others... Sigh...

Do I came back juz to confirm how detached I'm from them already? Where is the love? Maybe there wasn't any to begin with...

I've experienced and learned a lot since I last stepped into that place. But things seemed to be worsen there, eventhough on the surface, everything seemed fine... Wat went wrong exactly? Wat has been missing all these time?

Will I ever return there again? To be honest, I don't want to... Everyone that I've loved so much there, everything that binds me to that place... has gone... Who should I blame? Maybe it's me after all... Maybe it's my long absence that estranged me from them...

Ah well, I guess this may be the final goodbye then. It's been such a wonderful time, but I guess all good things have to end.

...I wonder wat will the next chapter be?

On the surface simplicity
But in the darkest pit in me
Is pagan poetry

Björk - Pagan Poetry

MILLENIUM ACTRESS

Eager to use my newly installed streamyx to its fullest potential, I've been rather desperate to download good movies and albums lately... My sadly, I hardly have the time to watch and listen to them all. The anime Millenium Actress, is one of them. I've heard about it since ages ago, and having seen all the "typical" anime (i.e. cool looking characters, lots of actions and chibi!), I've yearn to watch other animes that are "different"... And I'm delighted to say that Millenium Actress dun disappoints!

The story begins with a film director and a cameraman approached a once famous actress who has decided to life the rest of her life in seclusion, in order to film a documentary about her life. The director himself also happens to be a big fan of hers. As he passed a golden key to her, which she has lost so many years ago, memories stirred up within her, and thus she begin her enchanting tale concerning the golden key...

Ok, that synopsis barely scratches the surface of the anime. Wat I really like about the anime is how the line between reality and fantasy blurred as the aged actress told her stories. The roles she've played throughout her life seemed to parallel with her lifelong quest connected to the key, and sometimes it's hard to tell whether is she juz playing her role in a movie, or whether is she really seeking the man in her personal life. The fact that the director and cameraman started to appear in her story in imaginary or replaced roles makes the anime pretty interesting, and seemed to symbolized how absorbed are the two men in her story...

As I watch the show, I'm constantly reminded of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Both movies pushed the boundaries of their specific genre, and both are moving to the heart and involve thinking. There's very few movies, real-life or animation, that can do that. Millenium Actress is one of those!!! It's so realistic, and yet so surreal at the same time!!!

Let's hope more anime titles like these will come!

DISJOINTED ENTRY ON ORIENTATION

The committee for the upcoming M1/05 orientation has formed, and the OOs and SMs will soon be chosen... And oh how I'm filled with excitement and dread for the next orientation to arrive... Hearing how Reuben and Maria (the president and vice president) commented on how tame the last orientation was, and how Gagan promised to "give the juniors wat he get from the seniors during our orientation (damn u, Indra n gang!), WITH interest", I can't help but suspecting that the next orientation is gonna be really bad... Heck, Reuben even stated that the most important requirement for a committee member is not to be a pushover, i.e. he/she must not be friendly towards the juniors during orientation! There goes my hope of becoming the first aider committee...

I have a hypothesis. There are ppl who disregard the rules or rebel against it when the majority upheld the rule. The majority are firm on upholding the rules, and segregate or punish those who disregard it. The minority resented this restriction, and do all sorts of acts to show their contempt and frustration by sabotaging all kinds of stuff the majority upholds. But given an oscasion, juz for a short period of time, when these rules can be ignored legally without punishment watsoever, wat will happen to this rebellious minority? They would take full control of the situation... and guess what? They will do exactly as wat the majority did. Established their own rule, and silence or disregard all those who disobey their rule...

I've seen all these signs of twisted self-righteousness during the past orientations. There's nothing honourable about ragging the juniors, and therefore I can't help but resent the raggers (and pity the juniors) when they go on bragging about how much they've done and sacrificed for the orientation juz to make sure the juniors have a great time, and how unthankful the juniors are for not obeying their whims and stuff. Bullshit!

And now, an old forgotten rule will be imposed on the OOs: If any OOs adviced the juniors against attending any of the orientation activities, or at least avoid the nastier parts, they are to be dismissed as OOs at once, and are forbidden to take part in future orientations. Man... If there's any juniors who approached me and ask if they should come for the orientation, I really dunno wat I should tell them. To come would have mean that they'll get to know many friends, juniors and seniors, in that short period of time... but they'll have to go thru a really traumitizing time, when they're expected not to be "good sports", but also to perform all sorts of vulgar acts and stuff...

Gosh... I juz realized how disjointed my entry is... Oh who cares, that basically covers wat I think of the orientation. I still really wanna be a first aider though... maybe I'll juz join the first aid sub-committee then.

Someone suggested the orientation theme this time around to be "Love Is In The Air"... I find it hilarious! :>

I'VE SEEN IT ALL

Watched Dancer in the Dark with Bryan last week at Eve's place. Though the movie was kinda cliche and predictable to me, I must say that Bjork's performance is very very impressive. And I find the soundtrack "I've Seen It All" to be really really haunting too... The movie has a lousy male vocalist singing a duet with Bjork, but apparently in the soundtrack album, Bjork got to sing it with Thom Yorke of Radiohead!!! Man I'm definitely gonna try out the song ASAP!!!

Here's the lyrics to the haunting song...

I'VE SEEN IT ALL

I've seen it all, I have seen the trees,
I've seen the willow leaves dancing in the breeze
I've seen a man killed by his best friend,
And lives that were over before they were spent.
I've seen what I was - I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see!

You haven't seen elephants, kings or Peru!
I'm happy to say I had better to do
What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall?
All walls are great, if the roof doesn't fall!

And the man you will marry?
The home you will share?
To be honest, I really don't care...

You've never been to Niagara Falls?
I have seen water, its water, that's all...
The Eiffel Tower, the Empire State?
My pulse was as high on my very first date!
Your grandson's hand as he plays with your hair?
To be honest, I really don't care...

I've seen it all, I've seen the dark
I've seen the brightness in one little spark.
I've seen what I chose and I've seen what I need,
And that is enough, to want more would be greed.
I've seen what I was and I know what I'll be
I've seen it all - there is no more to see!

You've seen it all and all you have seen
You can always review on your own little screen
The light and the dark, the big and the small
Just keep in mind - you need no more at all
You've seen what you were and know what you'll be
You've seen it all - there is no more to see!

RETURN TO AWANA!

Went to Awana last weekends with my mum and her side of the family. Man, how much I love to go up to the hills!!! Awana is as tranquil as ever, though sad to say it seemed to look old somewhat, and not well-maintained. Nevertheless, I'm still really fond with the place. Since we arrived at the hotel early and cannot check in yet, I brought my sis and her friends (reluctantly... I feel like resting!) along with my bro to take a shuttle to Genting Skyway.

I was really annoyed when I see the long queue at Genting Skyway... My aunt was quite optimistic that we'll be able to get into the cable car in half an hour, but I confidently told her it'll take at least an hour (I queued up for 1 and a half hour once during Chinese New Year). I actually use the stopwatch function on my handphone to see how accurate my prediction is... And guess wat? It's timed around 1 hour and 5 minutes! Aha!

And oh my, the indoor theme park really have a new facelife already! I barely recognized the place except for a few landmarks- McDonalds and KFC! Most of the rides and stuff have changed already, not to mention to new shiny floor tiles! But I nv really hang around there at all. Instead, I brought all the kids straight to First World Theme Park, my fav place at Genting!!! That place is juz as crowded and lively as ever! Sent the kids to line up for some rides while me and my bro went shopping around for clothes!

Of cuz, any trip to Genting will not be complete without me doing wat I like most there... Drinking a warm cup of coffee out in the cold blasting wind at night! The differences this time is that I have a bunch of noisy kids tagging along with me and can't stop complaining how cold it was out there, and this time around, it was actually "raining"! No, u dun actually see any rainfall, but the wind was so moist all of us looked as if we've juz washed our hair! Ah how I love that wonderful moment... The peaceful and foggy enviroment, the cold blasting wind, the soothing warmth of hot coffee going down your throat... Man I can't wait to do that again!

After I went back to Awana, we have a walk around the golf course... At one corner of the building, we actually saw twenty over bats hanging on the ceiling in a fairly well lit place! This was the 1st time I get to observe so many bats resting so closely, and it's not evev a cave!!! That's one memorable moment!

Next morning, after the breakfast buffet, we went for archery at the Awana Sports Centre. Man, I dun realized how much I have improved since the last time! And of cuz, I wouldn't leave Awana without at least have a jacuzzi bath there! Too bad the water heater dun seemed to function properly though... Nevertheless, I really enjoyed it!

I really really enjoyed this trip to Awana... Let's hope that the SOS can all go there one day!

MED SCHOOL LIFE

A couple of ppl have approached me for the past few weeks to ask me about medical studies. One asked me whether study in IMU is good, and the other asked me if studying medicine is suitable for her daughter, and both asked if studying medicine is tough... Honestly, I find it very hard to answer all of their questions...

How's education in IMU?
Well, I can't really say it's bad, but it's not really terrific either. All I can tell them is that there's lots of independent studies involved... but isn't that bcuz I nv pay sufficient attention during lectures in the 1st place? And could I say the education level here is bad when I have studied here for almost a year already?

How's the lecturers in IMU?
I guess there's some good ones and some awful ones... I can't really say bcuz I nv have a good standard to compared to! But when my friend asked me whether izzit better for her to study in IMU or another med programme somewhere else, I really dunno wat to say... But I'm still adamant that we need to study anatomy using cadavers and not atlases and models, which sadly IMU dun provide.

Is life in med school tough?
To say no will be an outright lie. I've go thru so much stress in juz my very 1st year that I seemed to be almost immuned and used to it now (and to think that the worst is yet to come!)... So all I can say is be prepared to live a stressful life if you wanna enter med school, for stress will almost definitely become a normal part of a med student's life... But isn't this all due to my last minute studies???

Do u medicine is suitable for my daughter?
Whoa, that's one question that I definitely can't answer... Wat it takes to be a good doctor? Even I myself dun have a single idea yet so far... Wat is required from a med student? Consistent study time? Dedication? Discipline? Empathy? Intelligence? I have no idea...

I really feel compelled to enlighten them on these issues, since who else knows better on these issues other than med students such as myself? Yet at the same time, I feel inadequate to give them a good answer... I can't discourage them to aspire to become a doctor if I really feel so much for the profession of my choice rite? Yet I have to be honest to them to about the stressful life of a med student, and a part of me is compelled to warn them against entering med school so that they dun have to go thru all these stress!

So how am I supposed to answer them?! Argh...

SEM 2 SUMMATIVE ONE RESULTS!!!

“He’ll be here when he promised,” said I, “and not an instant sooner or later.”

And my words were true, for shortly after eight a hansom dashed up to the door and our friend got out of it. Standing in the window we saw that his left hand was swathed in a bandage and that his face was very grim and pale. He entered the house, but it was some little time before he came upstairs.

“He looks like a beaten man,” cried Phelps.

I was forced to confess that he was right. “After all,” said I, “the clue of the matter lies probably here in town.”

Phelps gave a groan.

“I don’t know how it is,” said he, “but I had hoped for so much from his return. But surely his hand was not tied up like that yesterday. What can be the matter?”

“You are not wounded, Holmes?” I asked as my friend entered the room.

“Tut, it is only a scratch through my own clumsiness,” he answered, nodding his good-morning to us. “This case of yours, Mr. Phelps, is certainly one of the darkest which I have ever investigated.”

“I feared that you would find it beyond you.”

“It has been a most remarkable experience.”

“That bandage tells of adventures,” said I. “Won’t you tell us what has happened?”

“After breakfast, my dear Watson. Remember that I have breathed thirty miles of Surrey air this morning. I suppose that there has been no answer from my cabman advertisement? Well, well, we cannot expect to score every time.”

The table was all laid, and just as I was about to ring Mrs. Hudson entered with the tea and coffee. A few minutes later she brought in three covers, and we all drew up to the table, Holmes ravenous, I curious, and Phelps in the gloomiest state of depression.

“Mrs. Hudson has risen to the occasion,” said Holmes, uncovering a dish of curried chicken. “Her cuisine is a little limited, but she has as good an idea of breakfast as a Scotchwoman. What have you there, Watson?”

“Ham and eggs,” I answered.

“Good! What are you going to take, Mr. Phelps–curried fowl or eggs, or will you help yourself?”

“Thank you. I can eat nothing,” said Phelps.

“Oh, come! Try the dish before you.”

“Thank you, I would really rather not.”

“Well, then,” said Holmes with a mischievous twinkle, “I suppose that you have no objection to helping me?”

Phelps raised the cover, and as he did so he uttered a scream and sat there staring with a face as white as the plate upon which he looked. Across the centre of it was lying a little cylinder of blue-gray paper. He caught it up, devoured it with his eyes, and then danced madly about the room, pressing it to his bosom and shrieking out in his delight. Then he fell back into an armchair, so limp and exhausted with his own emotions that we had to pour brandy down his throat to keep him from fainting.



“There! there!” said Holmes soothingly, patting him upon the shoulder. “It was too bad to spring it on you like this, but Watson here will tell you that I never can resist a touch of the dramatic.”

Phelps seized his hand and kissed it. “God bless you!” he cried. “You have saved my honour.”

“Well, my own was at stake, you know,” said Holmes. “I assure you it is just as hateful to me to fail in a case as it can be to you to blunder over a commission.”

Extracted from:

The Naval Treaty

Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

Ok... Let's see... I have my summative 1 results slip right before me now... Got it from Dr. Hirotaka Onishi, who commented that it was not too bad. I've tore the perforated lines at the side already... One remains now is the perforated line at the bottom...

[Deep breathe] I shall now proceed with tearing the last part of the line... Man, did I pass?? One third of us failed this test!!! Here goes...

* * * * * * * * * *

[Gasp]

B+!!!

Hurray!!! I pass!!!! YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS... Thank God!!!! Praise God!!!! YYYYAAAAYYYY!!!! Woohoo!!!! YES!!!

Phew... that's a GREAT relief... I was so confident that I'll fail!!! Haha... But I have to admit I dun do so well either. I'll enjoy my coming weekends as much as I can, and then I'll have to work much harder starting next week! A new beginning has come!!! I have finished my foudation studies, and system course will soon begins, starting with cardiovascular system!!!

It's a new beginning!!!!

NURSING WEEK REPORT

Name: Lee Chong Aik
Student ID: M0402082

Nursing Week – Seremban Hospital Visits Report

We have a briefing by Matron Noraini when we arrived at Seremban Hospital on the 8th of November, around 8 am. Most of us were feel slightly awkward then, since we did not know what to expect from the visits at all. However, it did not take long before Matron Noraini makes us feel comfortable and relaxed by chatting with us. I have to say, I am really impressed by how easily she is able to build rapport with us. After a brief introduction of all the sisters and on what we were supposed to do during the visits, we were divided into groups for different wards.

I was assigned to Ward 6B, the female medicine ward. The head nurse who is in charged of the ward is Sister Darwiyah, and she guided us for a tour around the hospital along with the group of Ward 6A. Personally, I find the division of all the different wards to be quite systematic, and I really like the concepts of a “husband-friendly” (where the husband is allowed to accompany his wife during labour) and “baby-friendly” (only breast-feeding is allowed for the babies) hospital. After we finished our tour, Sister Darwiyah gave us a brief introduction on the roles and responsibilities of the nurses and the hierarchy of the hospital organization after we have introduced ourselves. She also explained on the arrangement of the beds (the patients range from sub-acute to acute as their bed position lie closer to the head nurse’s room).

Before we proceed to take down the blood pressure, pulse and temperature of the hospital patients, Sister Darwiyah asked us to practice among ourselves first. After each of us have practiced taking down each other’s blood pressure and double checked by her, we began to perform the tasks on the patients. While there were little problems that I encountered when taking the patient’s blood pressure, pulse and temperature, I did face the problem of communicating efficiently with the patients. My Bahasa Melayu is far from fluent, and although I understand some of the Chinese dialects such as Cantonese, I was unable to communicate efficiently with the patients. Also, communicating with elderly patients who were senile was really tough.

We observed the nurses and doctors performing their daily routine for the rest of the day, which included intravenous injections, withdrawal of patient’s blood, and the follow ups of the patients by the specialist, doctors and medical students. We asked the nurses whenever we wanted to find out more about the patients’ diseases, and I am impressed by the knowledge they have, since I used to think that nurses’ training are mostly clinical and not so much on theory. It is also enlightening to find out how the nurses’ roles complement the doctors’, and the exactly how important their jobs are. We observed the nurses passing report to the nurses working for the next shift around 2pm, and practiced bedmaking before we left the hospital in a hurry as the bus were leaving soon!

On the 9th of October, we proceed to Ward 6B once we reached Seremban IMU Clinical School. The nurses were conducting bed-bath for the patients in the ward. I was reluctant to observe the process because the patients were all female, and most of them have their relatives accompanying them. Therefore I wondered around the male wards to observe the bed-bathing there. It is interesting to note that the girls do not have much hesitation to observe the process in the men’s ward! Later, we helped the nurse to do bed-making back in the ward.

Nothing much happened next, and so Sister Noraini taught us on the techniques to wear surgical masks and gloves. After that, we helped the nurses to distribute lunch meals to the patients in the ward. The meals are divided into 2 categories: normal diet, and low salt diet, depending on the patient’s disease. Right after we finished with the lunch distribution, we say our goodbyes and thanks to Sister Darwiyah before we left for lunch, and finally, back to IMU.

The hospital visits have helped me on understanding and appreciating the roles of nurses in a hospital setting, and I’m really looking forward on my next clinical posting!

* * * * * * * * * *

Due to the lack of space (Sister Teoh only wants 2 pages of 1.5 spacing length of report!), I didn't mentioned about seeing a poor baby with a sad case of hydrocephalus (his head swelled enormously... in fact, about the same length as the rest of his body!), a delirious patient who utter unintelligible words all the time and have to be tied down since she kept on pulling at her IV drip (she's found unconcious in the old folk's home), and a 40+ year old men who got his leg amputated due to gangrene caused by diabetes...

Also, I neglected on mentioning how BORED I was most of the time during the visits... It wasn't really bad, juz that we're spending far too much time there. IMHO, a day should be sufficient to learn all about the nurses' responsibilities!

But I'm serious about eager to go for my next clinical posting. Next time, I won't have to stuck with doing all the nurses' job like bedmaking and lunch distributing anymore! Yay!!!

>=)

WARDROBE TRAGEDY

WARNING! Although I'll do my very best to be discreet, the current post may contains possible spoilers to those who have yet to watch Pixar's The Incredibles.

Remember Edna's lecture on the hazards of wearing a cape for superheroes in Pixar's The Incredibles? I believe all who have watched it must have really enjoyed the hilarious scene... Imagine my shock when I found out that there was a similar incident that occured in real life - Isadora Duncan... and her scarf. Click here to read about the tragic accident.

A pretty sad & shocking way to die right? I guess I'll nv look at the cape hazards scene the same way again...

Oh and there's this line by Mr Incredibles that I really like:

They [society] keep finding new ways to celebrate mediocrity.

Indeed, I find our society's demands on conformity detestable. Why do we force ourselves to conform to the norm, and perceive all eccentricities or unique individualities as alien, unacceptable or harmful? Aren't many of the brightest people in history eccentrics? So why do people admire these great people for their contribution to society, and yet "persecute" people who has the potential to become one of these "elite"? Shouldn't we be celebrating our unique individualities instead??

IT IS FINISHED!!!

I'm currently typing these with an Apple PC now... for the very 1st time!!! Whoa, feel like a computer illiterate all over again! Everythig's seems so... alien! Need to ask for ppl's help around the library on how to use this! Haha... But I really like the sleek design of the PC though. Who knows, I may end up prefering this operating system! >=)

Was very stressed for the past few days. Nope, not for my studies (eventhough the exam is coming!), but for the heavy tasks I need to do for CF - Preparng 50 questions for my station for the Bible Quiz and Designing the current CF newsletter... Both needed to be done at the same day!!! But thank God it's all over now, and although it's stressful, I throughoutly enjoyed it! Actually learned quite a lot of stuff during my preparation!

Now that all the hussle is over, I guess I can concentrate more on my studies now. Apparently there's 30% failing rate for the last Summative One for our batch... Well, I won't be surprised if I fall into that category... For now, I'd rather think that I'll failed my exam then rejoiced that I actually passed rather than hoping that I'll pass and suffer disappointments after I found out that I've failed!

And so I'll forced myself to believe that I've failed my Summative One... Sniff... ;(

BACK!

Been trying to update my blog throughout my 1-week holiday last week... but I juz can't access the Net from my home! Can't do anything about it... Man, 1 week without internet access during the holidays is SUFFERING!!!

Well, my holidays have been... dull and sleepy I guess... I spent most of my time sleeping or playing Alpha Centauri/ The Sims 2. The only highlights during the holidays were watching The Incredibles in MidValley with the SOS (one helluva entertaining movie!) and preparing questions for the CF bible quiz this coming Wednesday (50 questions!).

Need to start designing the next CF newsletter now... Argh so busy!!!

HIGHWAY ADVENTURE... NO. 2??

I was driving home after CG on Friday night, reflecting on how wonderful the day has been, with all the parasitology lab, sem 2 CG (thank God that the 2nd half of The Fighting Temptation is slightly more amusing than the 1st), badminton, dinner at Vista A, managed to borrow Alpha Centauri from Matt, and having a wonderful fellowship during the Serdang Hope of God CG again at nite... when I realized that it jammed rather heavily on Batu Tiga... at 11pm!!! I was really puzzled at 1st, but grew increasingly annoyed when the jam got so bad, that all the cars were immobile for 10 minutes or so! Some of the drivers even walked out of their car to see wat's the fuss' all about!

Argh of all the possible route that I can choose, why do I choose this? 30 minutes later, I finally reached the turning to Federal Highway (eventhough the distance was only about 1km from where the jam began). Heaving a sigh of relief, I drove with anticipation of a smooth ride back home from there... Imagine my horror when I saw the road was blocked by lorries and trucks, and the traffic police signalling all of us to u-turn! I tried to asked a guy at the roadside for the reason, but the only reply I got was "Turn back! Turn back!". Sheesh...

It was then that I've made the mistake of calling my mum to tell her about the road block. She got panicky and a little mad of me having to return home so late etc etc. I told her I'll drive towards IMU 1st, and I'll figure an alternate route back on the way. Then I realized that I can turn into USJ when I pass by The Summit, so I called my mum and told her about it... She react quite violently then, telling me NOT to use that cuz she was lost for 3 hours in the past after she turned into it. Also, both my parents were already on their way to lead me home! Since I've nv use that turning b4 (I only did so for a few times in the past on the other direction), I juz follow her wish la. Dun wanna get her worried... But I'm pretty sure that the turning is the right one, and it'll bring me to SS 15 and eventually Federal... But I juz follow my mum's wishes then.

Eventually I reached Kinrara Rest Station, juz b4 the last toll b4 IMU. I was starving by then, so I came down for a supper while waiting for my parents to arrived there. I was thinking then, "Man, this is SO like the Dengkil incident!" But thank God, the steel plate yee mee there was surprisingly good. Hang around the kawasan rehat for awhile b4 I'm "reunited" with my parents. My dad drove my car with me, and my mum in the one my parents came with. And off we went... taking the exact same route I have in mind earlier, exit thru USJ!!! Argh... Wasted 30 minutes for that! I should have juz trust my own decision earlier!

On the way back, I passed by the other end of the turning that I should have take if not for the road block... Gosh, that area was flooded badly! Witnessed the aftermath of a rather bad accident too. There was car with a badly crumpled front exactly in the middle of the highway! Guess the rain really was heavy earlier... The car must have skidded! Maybe it's a good thing that I've waited fro my parents... Who knows, I might got involved in that terrible accident!

By the time I reached home, it was 1am already! But man am I relieved to see Klang again... after spending almost 2 hours in a car! Lol. Maybe I'm juz not meant to drive long distant at night using highways... I always can't get back home late at night! <=)

POST-SUMMATIVE 1

I've finally get everything there is to catch in the movie after the 3rd viewing, no thanks to poor pirated vcd/dvd quality in the 1st two attempts. Though the emotional impact is somewhat lessen by the 3rd viewing, I'm still very impressed with all the visual effects and how cleverly they're used. Also, I've even greater admiration on how the scriptwriter managed to imbued the lead characters with so much humanity, not to mention the rather enlightening and interesting analysis on our human nature in relationships. There is one small unavoidable flaw that I realized in the 3rd viewing though: the lack of development for the supporting characters, who have so much potential... But I guess that in any romance movie (even for one as offbeat and bizarre as Eternal Sunshine), the focus have to be on the love interests, so I won't be critical on that flaw!

Post summative one attempts to study haven't been good... It's juz so tempting to relax now when the exams seemed so far away, only to get panicky and rushed when summative two is looming ahead... Sigh... When will I ever learn?

FAILED?

Summative one is over... And for the 1st time, I'm very confident... that I'll fail. Seriously, if I can get a B, I'll be really really really happy and thankful. And I guess I won't go crazy or suicidal if I failed the paper... The funny thing is, I've done my very best, but somehow I juz can't recall the stuff that I've studied...

Maybe it's the overload of contents... plus the really short time constraint factor. I've covered everything, but all the info is juz too muddled to be retrieved during the test. Parasitology espeacially... I almost can't recall anything about it.

For now, I dun even feel worried or anxious or anything, since I'm almost 100% sure I'll flunk my test. Wat I'm really concerned now is how to save my summative two from yet another disaster... and the system courses that come after them...

Maybe I have to change my study tecnique... but how? It has nv failed me for the past 13 years... why now?? <=( Wat went wrong exactly??

NEWLY-KINDLED INTEREST

It's amazing how a lecturer can influence one's liking to a particular subject. I've always dislike studying epidermiology since SPM, mainly because it's full of boring figures that no one bothers to remember, and also it's full of names of diseases that meant nothing to me, juz names... until now!

I've heard many seniors complained on how Dr. Paul Chen tends to talk too much about the all the patients he came across and all the projects he's involved in the past instead of the lecture content itself, but I enjoyed every single moment of his lecture. The fact that he shared with us on all the interesting/sad cases of patients suffering/dying of different diseases painted a picture about the particular disease in my head. Now that I know something about how the disease affect some poor unfortunate souls, it's much more interesting to study about how it is distributed, and how much efforts have been channeled to wipe it out from the surface of the world.

Also, the fact that epidermiology is closely related to world history and the political and economical states of different nations make the lectures thrilling and absorbing too. I'm well aware that many of my batchmates juz can't stand medical history, such as the development of the field of pathology and vaccination, and how the Hippocrates' Oath evolve in time, but I really love every single detail of them. Perhaps my father's deep love in history has influenced me that deeply. Also, it's interesting to see how the incidence of diseases rise and fall during different periods of history, e.g. World War II; and how the mortality rate is differs for 2 nations eventhough it's the same diseases due to the healthcare sector.

Last but not least, my respect and admiration to Dr. Paul Chen have grown much since the last 3 lectures he have gave us. Previously, I only know about him when he gave us a talk about the roles of Christian doctors in CF, and I'm amazed at all the missionary experiences he has all over the world. Not only is he intelligent (he's a Harvard graduate!), he has lots of experience too from all the projects he have in the past, even WHO-related ones! It's sad that some of my batchmates skipped his lectures due to the coming exam or some other reasons... I juz have one of the best lecture so far in IMU!!!

So guys, next time to come for Dr Paul Chen's lecture!!! U won't regret it! >=)

ADDED LINKS & STUFF

Argh nothing to blog about lately... Spend most of my time studying, or trying to study... Oh well...

Added a few more blog links: Jun Jack (M1/03) & Pei Kheng (Pharmacy). *Updates!* I juz realized that my cousin, Teck Wei's blog still lives on! I thought he stop blogging for good since last year! Hmmmm... I'm seriously considering dividing the blog links into categories now... But most of the "Fellow Bloggers" are in IMU la... Dunno how to divide!!!

Oh I've also added links to 3 doctors' blogs earlier: Dr Cheah (Current issues - interesting read), Dr Liew (Absolutely hilarious!! Highly entertaining!!), & our very own Dr Timothy Sung!

Also make some minor changes here and there. e.g. U can now open a link with a new window! And oooo I really love that Cowboy Bebop pic!!!

And now, I shall go back to my studies on parasitology... Or at least attempt to!!!

DISSATISFACTION

I didn't want to blog about this earlier bcuz I think that it's a rather sensitive issue... And after I've learnt my lesson on how blogging can fuel misunderstanding and even anger, I choose to only speak out the more positive stuff on my earlier post... But deep within me, I really hate this restraint that is placed upon me by others, eventhough I sincerely believe that they have no right to do so... And so I'll juz post this anyway...

A lot of dissatisfaction and anger have erupted during the IMU Cup, and it reached a rather... messy climax during the closing ceremony. I'm always one who is against booing other people's achievement, but for this once, I have to admit, I really felt like booing myself. It is undeniable that all of us felt... cheated. I won't elaborate more on this, bcuz I'm not sure I got the whole thing right, but there's one thing I know for sure... I really really felt cheated by the whole thing, and I really hated the way the ppl in charge deals with the misunderstanding.

For those who dun get wat I mean... Try reading the following blogs: Yee Pei (18/10), Chia Meng (16/10), Shi Ching (16/10), Aiky (17/10). I will not elaborate further, bcuz I dowan to get suck into the whole factions thingie. All I wanna say is... I felt cheated, and rather dissatisfied with the organizing of the event.

UNBELIEVABLE!

A 14 year-old-boy went for a supposed computer course that was advertised in the newspaper. He was held captive there and was used as a guinea pigs of a series of bizarre experiments conducted by a doctor who practises traditional medicine and 4 of his accomplices, who were searching for some medical cure. The boy was also badly abused too, and was forced to do strenuous works, drink his own urine, and only given a meal per day. After 3 months, the boy managed to escape from the horrible place, and walked 90km back home and lodged a report to the police...

Sounds like a synopsis of a cheesy episode of The X-Files right? Guess where I read the story from? The Star! Yes, it's a true story! Check out the following links if u dun believe me:

Doc using kids as guinea pigs

Doctor put boy in torture chamber

Now isn't that shocking and sickening?! Worse still, it happened in Malaysia!! The doctor's "experiments" weren't juz unethical... It's totally inhuman! And all this while I thought things like this only happens in some cheesy TV series or during World War Two when the twisted Nazis do all sorts of bizarre experiments on humans as their specimens...

I hope the doctor and his accomplices will be punished severely for this outrageous atrocity! And I do hope all the kids will be rescued from that hell hole ASAP! How can a person as inhuman as the guy be a doctor?! This is seriously disturbing...

MY 1st TRY OF ROJAK!

I planned to return to Klang right after the IMU Cup closing ceremony yesterday, but since that I've promised to drive my friend to SS 15 this morning, I stayed back at Vista for the night. I was surprised to see both Brandon and Yong Sian the next day, since I thought it was only Brandon who wanna go to SS 15 to settle some Broadband cancellation issues with Telekom. Missed the USJ turn when we drove towards Subang from IMU, and so we have to go thru lots of hassles and tolls to eventually reached SS 15... Argh...

And since I've already wasted so much time (and a little bit more money) for the ride, I decided to have lunch there at SS 15, and asked them if they could recommend me any good food around. Yong Sian asked if I like rojak... and I rather embarassingly told him that I've nv have rojak b4 in my life! He was kinda shocked and teased me a bit ("wat kind of Malaysian are u?!"), but I was really glad cuz he dun ended up OVER-teasing me for that, unlike some of my friends (u know who u r >=p), and he recommended a rojak truck stall opposite Shell station, juz next to Gazebo (another plave that I've yet to try out eventhough I've studied at Taylor's college for 1 year already, which is about 10 minutes walk away).

Since I've nv tried rojak b4, I ordered one which have everything in it, sotong, eggs, everything. And well... it's really good! I really like the mixture of hard crunchy texture along with the softer ones, although I can't really tell wat they actually are. The sauce is really good too, and apparently the rojak there is one of the best Yong Sian have tried. He also told me about another type of rojak too, which have fruits and black sauce instead... maybe I should try out myself someday! After the wondeful lunch, I dropped them at Club 7 and went back home. They invited me to join them, but I guess I'm much too worried bout my studies to enjoy a game of pool! Plus, I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke!

On my way back home, I realized that eventhough I've learned from my friends about lots of different food that I have yet to try out, I'm not willing to try them out myself without my friends' company. It is as if I want to have my 1st try of different to be memorable, like my 1st try of rojak at SS 15, and my 1st try of the rotating Japanese food thingie (I wonder of they have a special term for that) with my secondary school friends during one of them's birthday (sheesh the grammer sounds so wrong). I guess I'm that kind of guys who really give thoughts on how to make a memory really cherishable!

This is one of the memories that I will truly cherish for the rest of my life. The 2 of them are such good companies, that it makes me feel a bit guilty that I dun spend more time mixing around with them in uni... Well, I guess that's 1 of the drawbacks u have when u got accepted into a clique... But I'm looking forward for more beautiful memories to be shaped! >=)

AS IF THINGS WEREN'T BAD ENOUGH...

As if things weren't bad enough, I've received yet another bad new juz an hour b4 the cheerleading event: I've failed my CPR Theory Exam. And here's the irony: I'm an active Red Cresent Member for 4 years, officially recognized as a basic first aider (which includes CPR), and have even taught others on CPR... And I failed my CPR Theory Exam! Shit, this is so illogical, it's almost hysterically funny. Now I have to pay RM 40 for the resit and waste more time on studying that instead of spending more time revising for my summative one which I need to catch up, since I've been SO involved in the cheerleading practise for the past 2 months!

Well, anyway, the cheerleading event was full of surprises. All of the performing cheerleaders were so good that I almost felt that ours was so so inferior in comparison. And juz b4 our batch's performance began, one of us got to nervous and ended up having cramps on her arms, fingers, legs, and all other parts of her body. The event was delayed for a few minutes bcuz of that, and the poor girl was unable to perform (imagine, after all the hours and hours of practise.... sigh...), but the show has to go on, so we performed without her. And being the blur person that I am, I made 2 mistakes... Once I actually forgotten where I should run to next, and the other one was when I was unable to life a girl up using my left leg, since I was kinda shaky then bcuz my right leg felt kinda cramped after all the rushed actions. But many ppl commented we did fine then, so I guess it's ok la... Not that we expected to win the event or anything... Heehee

And now that it's all over, there's this question that I need to ask myself: Do I enjoy the whole cheerleading thing? Do I regretted signing up for it? Well, the answers for both questions are both yes and no. When I signed up for it, I nv knew how much commitment and time this is going to cost me. For the last 2 weeks, we've been practising for like 5 hours everyday (excluding weekends). All my study plans have gone awry. I dun even have the time to read thru/ understanding the lecture notes I have that day once b4 I start the revising/ memorising part for the lectures I have weeks b4. Heck, I spend more time revising my stuff in sem 1 than now! And considering that sem 2's summative 1 is infamous for its failing rate... I'll be dead for sure unless I work very hard starting today! Last night's study effort after the IMU Cup closing ceremony was excellent, and I hope that the momentum will carry on throughout next week!

But though I have go thru a lot of stress and strain for the cheerleading practises, I can't say that I dun enjoy it. It was a fun experience... only problem was it took too much of my time. The satisfaction that I've done my small part for my batch felt good. So, will I join the next cheerleading in the next IMU Cup? Well, it depends, I guess. If the practises begin earlier and lasts about 2 hours everyday, I dun really mind. But if there are other guys who are willing to join and there's not enough space for all of us, than I'll be more than willing to back out. My priorities should always come 1st: God 1st, Studies 2nd, others followed after that. So, ya, we'll see how things go in a years time then!

Congrats to all the winners of the cheerleading events, and also to those who have performed and unfortunately didn't win the game! All of u guys did great! The last event of IMU Cup was explosive! Looking forward for the next IMU Cup!

EVERYTHING'S WRONG

Why izzit that in all things that I do, some ppl will tell me that it's wrong? Wat that was normal b4 has becomed so abnormal and even rude to ppl now. It is as if I've stepped into a world with a totally different culture and etiquette. And where everyone is awfully defensive of wat they think is right and show no interest nor openess to other opinions, a world where ppl only desired to follow a comformity instead of exploring on how God created us to be, a world where almost everyone shun ppl who dun seemed to fit, ppl who are eccentric.

Although I have no emnity towards conventionality and norm, I sincerely despise ppl who despise others that are different from them, ppl who juz can't accept, no, tolerate ppl who dun talk and walk and do like them. I really can't understand... Isn't this world a better place with all the variety of ppl? It is to me, and I enjoyed the company of all kinds of ppl, with all kinds of personality. So why can't ppl juz be more... loving?!

To Anne (whoever u r): I'm sorry if u dun like the idea of AOT, but I do hope that u can be more open towards the differences of others. If u juz can't accept it, tolerate it then. Dun go on saying something that is so uncontructive and only brings about unhappiness and anger.

Argh... My inferiority complex is building up again... at a very wrong time it seemed, since it's only 5 and a half hour b4 the Cheerleading event and less than 2 weeks b4 summative... Help me God to walk thru this "valley of the shadow of death"!

SLEEP SLEEP I NEED SLEEP

Been really busy lately... Cheerleading event is coming up this Friday and we still have yet to master & synchronize all the moves, Summative One is looming close (and the warnings of high failure rate by seniors constantly present in my head), PBL researches yet to be done (and an awfully unpleasent faci), parasitology with all the life cycles... Man I really need a break... and more sleep... My left eye kept quivering lately... Must be the strain...

Lost my watch during cheerleading practise on Monday... My precious Adidas watch which I've bought juz b4 I entered IMU... Left it in the badminton court at Vista B and when I returned 3 hours later to look for it, it's gone... The worse thing is, nobody gives a damn about it. Talk about empathy among medical students...

Well, I gotta continue with my PBL reseach now... Library is closing in 15 minutes...

Happy Birthday Dad!!! Sorry that I can't be there to celebrate it with ya! ;)

KING OR CRIPPLE

King or cripple what have I become?
Beneath these kingly robes there lies a fragile man
What made me a king can sometimes cripple
All that you give can sometimes rob my innocence

Why do you let us walk upon a cliff so steep
When deep below the sea there lies a bed of gold
And if this should be our battle place
Don't let me fall, don't let us fall

Keep me, keep me, keep me, keep me

I love to hold the hand of one who healed the blind
And saw the leper run into your arms of love
King or cripple, they were the same to you
You took the broken man and you treat him like a king

Delirious

King or Cripple

BIRTHDAY CUM REUNION!

Went to airport to send my maid away (temporally for 3 weeks) at KLIA. Her father is gravely ill. Now that I think back about all the times she went back to the Phillipines since she started working for us 12 years ago, most of them has been quite sad... When her younger sis passed away, when her mother got sick, and later on passed away too... But there were also a few time when she went back juz for a month break or so. It's kinda sad that she won't be with us for the next 3 weeks, not juz bcuz she's a really efficient maid and cook, but also bcuz she's been with us for so long she seemed to be part of our family already! Sometimes we even watched TV with her and dicussed about them!

After lunch, I drove my secondary school friends Thian Meng and Wei Cher to celebrate the latter's birthday. Watched Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, which visual effects seriously rocks, though the characterization and story is rather weak. The jokes are good nonetheless. We were wondering about wat to eat for lunch (the 3 of us shared ONE McNuggets McValue set for an earlier light meal due to the lack of time!), when Thian Meng suggested that eating at Genki Sushi in Klang Parade right opposite my house. I've always been interested to try more Japanese food since my aunt brought me to a Japanese buffet at PJ Hilton, and so off we go!

This was the 1st time I actually ate at the kind of Japanese restaurant where the food moves along a rail and where we juz grabbed the food we wants from it. It was really interesting and fun, and the food was quite good too! Though I have to admit, I'm still not used to the taste of raw salmon yet... But I tried out some other stuff which I can't remember wat they're called, and I have to say it's rather tasty! And oooo how I loved drinking green tea! I'm gonna buy some soon and stock it in Vista!

I really enjoyed my 2 friends' company throughout the whole outing, since we rarely see each other nowadays. Despite that we were juz as close as b4, and the 2 of them are the only secondary school friends that I still keep in touch with. Though the time we spent together is rather short, I really cherished all of it. Maybe we should meet up more often in the future! I guess it's quite tough also la since we all have our own circle of friends in our respective campuses, but I'm really looking forward to our next outing together again! >=)

ALONE

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then–in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life–was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Edgar Allan Poe

Alone (1830)

STRINGS OF DISAPPOINTMENT

Ever since last nite, I've suffered from a series of disappointment. My sis was unable to download an anime that I've at first hoped that I can watch rite after I came back from IMU. The DVD I bought from the pasar malam at Sri Petaling, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, is of a lower quality than that I've expected. Wanna download some extra anime episodes, but nothing seems to work. Wanna watch the Metallica MTV Icon TJ borrowed me, but I've left it at Vista...

N guess wat, more disappointment today. Watched Eternal Sunshine, and although the visual quality isn't that good, it's passable... but the subtitle seriously is a joke. I watched the movie once b4, but I can hardly hear anything they say due to the poor audio quality. Turns out the DVD is juz as bad. Drove out to Klang Parade to buy some stuff for my sis' party tonight (I'm in charged of the games). It was only then I realized that a fren of mine has sms me to call him when I reach Sunway Pyramid. We planned to watch Resident Evil 2 since early this week, and I was really looking forward to it...

So I replied and asked wat time will the movie begins... Guess wat's the reply? It was 12.55pm then already, and he replied that the movie will begin at 1.10pm! He juz told me earlier to be at Pyramid at 2pm! I was so shocked when I read the msg that I'm stunned for awhile, sitting in my car, not believing wat I've juz read. I called him immediately, and he told me that another friend of mine was supposed to tell me about the change of time. I immediately called that guy next, and he told me to come at once, so he can passed me the ticket eventhough the movie probably will have begun by then. I told him there's no point of doing that, since by the time I reached there, the movie will probably end in 30 minutes time already...

Wat he said next seriously pissed me off: Too bad lo...

I was crushingly disappointed when I realized that I'm gonna miss the entire outing, but to know that he doesn't sympatise to me at all really angers me. I cut off the call and drove back with a really foul mood. I dun mind if there's a miscommunication, and therefore the entire thing is an accident. But to know that whether u being there or not doesn't affect a friend of urs at all is... bitterly disappointing. Yes, I know I demand a lot from my friendship with others, but that's only bcuz I do the same to them: I truly really seriously desire nothing but true authentic friendships with my friends... I've done all I can on my part, but to see so little response from most of my friends is... <=( And something inside my head kept on talking as I sit around sulking, waiting for my take away lunch: guess wat thom u're left out again like so many times before from countless ppl and u know wat i think this will go on for the rest of ur life and there's absolutely nothing u can do to change ur pathetic state u have only urself to blame for being so outlandishly odd and eccentric so why dun u juz go fly kite bla bla bla...

Paranoia paranoia...

But I guess I'll juz look at the bright side la... Now that I'm really mad, I can actually focus my attention on something... Maybe I'll juz spend my anger on studying my lecture notes then... I'm quite sure that it will work...

And dun be so down and moody Thom... There's still tonight's party to look forward to! Juz hope that the kids won't bully me for being a Mr. Nice Guy!

P.S. I'm still kinda frustarted on the restraints on posting up names... after all, this is my space of expression... but I guess it's better than starting up yet another conflict.

HONEYMOON SEMESTER SYNDROME??

I'm having trouble staying focus in my studies lately... Not that I dun like studying, it's juz that... I'm easily distracted... Perhaps wat the seniors said is true, that we relax more in sem 2 and 4 bcuz there's no End of Semester finals in both sems... But I've seen how much struggle and stress many sem 3 seniors have went through due to their lack of preparation in sem 2... And I constantly reminded myself how I'm certain to fail my summative one if my maintain my current studying condition till summative one... But somehow I juz lack the discipline to focus on my studies...

Also, I kinda regretted signing up for cheerleading already. It's really fun, I have to admit, but it juz takes up too much of my time! I seriously dun have much commitment towards it, and the only reason I kept attending the practises is bcuz I sympathise with those that sacrificed so much of their practising and coming up with ideas... and also not to embarass my batch for performing badly for the IMU cup of cuz...

But thank God I've been making progress in my studies since yesterday already. I hope to finish reading all the immunology notes by this week. Somehow I'm really reluctant to start my revising pathology... It's WAY to heavy for an enjoyable read. But I guess I have to revise it anyway sooner or later... let's juz hope I'll be able to get the hang of it.

More parasitology lectures coming next week... Let's juz hope it's not as tough as the seniors claimed it is!

THE FALL OF GONDOLIN

Well, since everyone seems to be crazy about paintings of dragons lately, I feel like sharing my fav dragon painting too:

Sauron, head lieutenant of the Dark Lord Morgoth then during the 1st age, leading his legion of dragons, balrogs, orcs and evil men, assailed the wall of Gondolin, the greatest Elven city on Middle Earth. The contrast of the white wall against the dark shadows of the evil legion and the redness of the lava and flame is gorgeous. Also, notice how the small figure of Sauron on the horseback seemed to emit a strong sense of command eventhough he's surrounded by gigantic and monstrous creature all around him. I still dunno wat that milipede thing is though... Dun remember that from reading The Silmarillion! Lol...

"FANSITE" LAUNCHED...

Wat would u feel when someone started a blog that is wholly dedicated to ur weird and unbelievable antics? Should u feel flattered that u actually have some form of a "fan site" now, or should u feel horrified and worried that this blog will one day make a laughing stock out of u, that ppl's 1st impression of u (b4 they even meet u personally!) will be one of a joker, of a blur guy who runs around talking gibberish, hearing the most crazy things imaginable and suffered from fits of insanity from time to time?

I have no idea... But heck, the 1st post about my antics have been posted up, and... well, in a weird way, I'm actually amused... by my own behaviour and stuff! Somehow, I dun feel like as if I'm reading about myself, as if THE Thomas is some fictional character. Really, wat makes me says the thing I say?? I guess that's 1 question I can nv really answer for a long long time. In the mean time, I'll amuse myself by reading all the crazy antics... I've done myself?!

(Eh Thom, this dun make any sense la...)

(I know Thom, I know... But who cares? Thom's one funny guy!)

ANTICS OF THOMAS - INC.

Proceed at your own risk...

of getting infected with my blurness!!

THOUSAND OF APOLOGIES

Man I'm SO SORRY SORRY SORRY for all the hulla ballu my previous entry has caused! Ppl have read the post and misinterpreted it as something else that I nv have in mind!!! I sincerely apologized to the ppl I unintentionally offended, and thousands of apologies to the ppl who were trying to kill me for that post too. SORRY!!!

On the side note, I would like to tell this to a friend of mine:

I started this blog for the very reason to express my honest opinion on certain things that I've observed or experienced. I'm really sorry if this offended anyone, and I swear to this: that is never my intention.

BUT...

Juz as u enjoyed calling me idiot and degrading me in all sorts of imaginable ways, I still have my right to express my personal opinion on wateva I want to for the entire internet community. There were a lot of things that u've said that have offended me too, but I respect ur freedom and shut my mouth. And so, I sincerely hope u will shut urs too, and not go about dictating others wat one should or should not blog about.

Thank you.

P.S.: To prevent more misunderstandings in the future due to my posts, I will do my best to refrain from mentioning names unless it's purely of a positive statement.

Once again, really sorry for all the mess I've caused. Believe me, I'm really filled with guilt with all that. So guys, pls do tell me ASAP if u think that certain posts of mine are very sensitive and potentially offending to ppl.

Thanks!

1ST CG IN SEM 2

It's about time I blog something on our very 1st CG in sem 2 last Friday (not counting the 2 months planning meeting)... I was a bit excited (& nervous) for the entire week then, since all of us have no idea wat it's about except for the word Sharing. There wasn't even a specific topic, or a scope! I was a bit worried at first on wat I can testify about, but I eventually leave all of my worries and anxiety to God's hand and juz attend the CG full of expectation.

The CG dun fit my expectation though... it went way beyond! For the first time since we've joined the CG, many of us actually open up and share on how God has changed our lives. Many unknown secrets about our past were revealed, and I'm really glad that many of us are willing to be transparent to one another now. This is something that I have longed for so long: As brothers and sisters in Christ, we should be totally honest with one another, share our struggles with one another, and encouraging one another, purely out of love for one another. I was amazed, saddened, and encouraged from all the testimonies by my friends, and I would like to say a very warm THANK YOU to Ben Shyen for his attendance and testimony that brought about the momentum. Without his unshakable faith and passion for God, this CG may not be as powerful as it was! Although not all the sharing have happy endings, I am really thankful to God that we can really share secrets that many of us kept it buried for a long, long time! Praise God!

After the CG has ended, I have this strong feeling that I dun comprehend at first... It took me awhile before I finally realized that it was (and still is) LOVE. Love for my fellow brothers and sisters who were there that day. Love for my fellow brothers and sisters who went through much struggles as I did. Love for my fellow brothers and sisters who find peace and hope and salvation in the Lord. Pure, simple love, that trancends all differences we have between us.

I sincerely hope that the future CGs we'll have will be as sincere as the very 1st CG we have. It's a big difference from the ones we have last sem, for although we have learned much, there seems to be a lack of... love. I really can't think of any other word that can describe it. But since we're kinda out of ideas wat to have in CGs now, I guess we really need to pray hard and rely completely on God to come out with more stuff for our future CGs... The next CGs falls on the day after tomorrow, and yet we still dun have a single idea wat we will be doing on that day!

THE PINK GIRL

Wow, wat a day! Starts off at 12am with me hanging around at EV's place. No mood to study, so we (me, Bryan, Christabel and Lee Hong - EV was at her coach's birthday party then) chat at the balcony for more than 2 hour or so. Lee Hong and EV (after she returned) went to sleep around 1am, but the 3 of us continue to chat on till about 2 sumthing, and it was then that we started sharing ghost stories...

All of a sudden, around 2.45am, Bryan alerted us about a girl standing still on the road towards Vista A. Me and CB dun believe him at 1st, since we thought that he's trying to scare us or sumthing. That's when I let out a "boo!" to counter-scare Bryan... But he really looked serious then. I look around and omigosh I really saw her!!! She was all in pink, wearing a hairband and carrying a handbag... and she's waving slowly at us in an almost graceful, eerie way! We were so freaked out we ran back to the hall.

But it didn't take us long b4 we returned to the balcony... The curiosity was juz too strong (except for CB... She really seemed to be chickening out! Lol) And this time, Bryan was actually laughing! That girl was rubbing her back against a tree!!! That was one of the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life! Then the girl continue her walk around the street, and waving at us from time to time. Bryan actually waved back at her despite our vehement protest! He really seemed to be turned on by her! Both me and CB were worried that the girl may know where we stay by observing which balcony we're on and come to our place! And so we hurriedly locked the main door while Bryan continued to be fascinated with the girl...

The girl kept wondering around the streets, and she sometimes dissappear from our sight as he walked passed blobk B2 juz to come back again some time later. I remembered that CB has a pair of binoculars and asked her to get it for us, but the vision wasn't very clear... Can't really get to see the girl's face or anything... After a few hours, we started to lost interest at the girl after she didn't appear for 30 minutes or so, and so we went back to the hall and talked about movies and music, and also played a little game... till 5am in the morning! Lol... Only get 2 hours of sleep later at EV's place, on the dining table, b4 I went for a rather boring lecture by Dr. Radha Krishnan later!

The cell group meeting after lunch was very interesting too, but I guess I'll save it for another post la... Tired now! >=)

MIND-BLOWING TEST

Rip this off from Friendster bulletin. I'm so puzzled and amazed by it that I decided it should be posted here too... Read on, but don't cheat!!!

*****

Dear peoples,

Quick Eye Exam...

This will blow your mind...!

Just do it - don't cheat!!!!!!!!!!!!

Try this its actually quite good.

But don't cheat!

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Count the number of F's in the following text:

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FINISHED FILES ARE THE

RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC

STUDY COMBINED WITH THE

EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

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Managed it?

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Scroll down only after you have counted them!

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OK?

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How many?

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Three?

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Wrong, there are six - no joke! Read again!

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FINISHED FILES ARE THE

RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC

STUDY COMBINED WITH THE

EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

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The reasoning is further down...

The brain cannot process the word "OF".

Incredible or what?

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Anyone who counts all six F's on the first go

is a genius.

Three is normal.

*****

Amazing huh? If any of u counted 6 at the 1st go, pls let me know!!! Genius wei... Lol

PARADOX OF OUR TIME

I received a rather interesting mail from a good friend of mine:

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The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window, and nothing in the stockroom.

* * * * * * * * * *

Interestingly, Radiohead managed to cover all the anguish, paranoia and lament on how technology has dehumanize humanity in one album, arguably their very best: OK COMPUTER.

Guys, u really need to listen to this album. Truly it's one of the best album in the last decade, and one that will last the test of time, much like Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. The more I listen to it, the more I loves it!

fitter, healthier and more productive

a pig in a cage on antibiotics.

Fitter Happier - Radiohead

PAIN!!!

After Tai Chi class yesterday, I went to EV's place with a pair of rather weak legs... When I returned to my apartment, a stabbing pain appeared on my proximal part of my right thigh... After CF meeting today, the very same pain started to appear on the left side... Argh, the agony!!! And there's cheerleading practices everyday summore!!! Can't even hold a girl up for more than one minute today!!! Guess I seriously need some exercise already... But I juz couldn't find the time somehow! Let's hope future tai chi warm-up exercises will not be as torturous anymore... (Dream on Thom!)

Went to Pyramid with some of the SOS today, have a buffet lunch at the Chicken Hut (or sumthing like that, can't remember exactly). The crispy chicken was really good, and so was the coleslaw. King asked if I wanna check out Studio R for a sword (I have yet to buy a sword for my tai chi class!), and so I followed his lead there. I'm really surprised to find that they DID sell a tai chi sword and other weapons there, but unfortunately the price is way too high (RM 250!!!), and the quality doesn't seem to be THAT good either... King mentioned that there may be more choices in the Studio R at 1U... If only I know the way there... Have to check there out someday too.

Also, it seems that the Christian lecturers who have been praying for us have suggested that we combine our prayer meetings with theirs starting next week. Wow, that's a great idea! But I wonder how will it be like, praying along with lecturers together... We did pray together with our teachers during secondary school, but I dun really know many lecturers personally in IMU la... Well, we'll see how it goes next week! ;)

1st WEEK

Came back home from IMU yesterday to realize that my mum has been quite sick for several days already... She have been resting at home since then, rarely rise up to do anything. She has chills, fever, and also, her urine is very warm. I asked her about the doctor's diagnosis, and she told me it's urinary tract infection or something. Juz check out my Medical Advisor book and try my luck out on Bladder Infection. Yup, the symptoms fits. Seems that the E. coli from her intestine has somehow infected her bladder and urinary tract. How the bacteria got there... use ur imagination! >=)

Well, 1st week of sem 2 has been quite ok... so far. My 1st CSU session was awful, since I dunno wat to expect at all on the interview with the simulated patient... It's really hard not to act when u're so aware that the person u're interviewing is acting himself. But well, I'm hopeful I'll get familiarize with this soon. The 1st PBL session we have on sem 2 was also probably the best I've been thru. I kinda like my new PBL group, since it's much more discussion than the one I have last sem. Having Bryan and Thaven in my PBL group is pretty cool too!

Alright, gotta study now. Not much heavy lectures so far, but I can foresee that next week's patho lectures will be quite heavy... So better finish up this week's lecture notes 1st! Still can't decide whether should I buy the 7th edition of Papa Patho though...

SLANDERS!!!

Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
Exodus 20:16

A few weeks ago, I read a particular article (I think it's in a newspaper) that sort of resembles the forwarded e-mail message below:

Subject: FWD: Tommy Hilfiger hates us...

Did you see the recent Oprah Winfrey show on
which Tommy Hilfiger was a guest? Oprah asked
Hilfiger if his alleged statements about people of
color were true - he's been accused of saying
things such as "If I had known that African-
Americans, Hispanics and Asians would buy my
clothes, I would not have made them so nice,"
and "I wish those people would not buy my
clothes - they were made for upper-class whites."
What did he say when Oprah asked him if he said
these things? He said "Yes." Oprah immediately
asked Hilfiger to leave her show.

Now, let's give Hilfiger what he's asked for - let's
not buy his clothes. Boycott! Please - pass this
message along.

Well, some of u guys probably read about this too, but the rumour is UNTRUE. Here's Tommy Hilfiger's statement:

I am deeply upset that a malicious and completely false rumor continues to
circulate about me. I create my clothing for all different types of people
regardless of their race, religious or cultural background. I want you to know
the facts so that you are not the victim of a classic "urban myth" that
perpetuates untruths and has no basis in reality. Please read further to learn
the truth.

And here's Oprah Winfrey's statement:

So I want to just set the record straight once and for all. The rumor claims
that clothing designer Tommy Hilfiger came on this show and made racist remarks,
and that I then kicked him out. I just want to say that is not true because it
just never happened. Tommy Hilfiger has never appeared on this show. READ MY
LIPS, TOMMY HILFIGER HAS NEVER APPEARED ON THIS SHOW. And all of [the] people who claim that they saw it, they heard it -- it never happened. I've never even met Tommy Hilfiger.

And here's a link to a letter from the Anti-Defamation League to Tommy Hilfiger.

And so my friends, it's very clear that the rumours are completely baseless. If any of u received an e-mail message like the italicized one above, pls delete it at once and don't forward it. It's nothing but a hurtful, outrageous and scandalous lie!

In addition, I want to remind all readers not to believe in all the forwarded e-mail messages without doing a little research about it first. These are few of the false rumours/ stories I've received from e-mails:

• A protest against a movie called "Corpus Christi" which portrays Jesus and his disciples as gays from showing to the public. The truth is, no such movie exists. The movie project was authentic, but never got off the ground.
• The "Bonsai Kitten". I was really shocked when I first received this message, and I stupidly forwarded it before I've done any research on it. It's only a week after I forwarded the bullshit did I realized that it was all a hoax. It's about this company who came up with a new idea for pets: Inserting a kitten into bottles of different shapes in order to let them grow into that particular shape as time passes. They even have a website to strengthen that hoax, but I think the website is down now. Good riddance! It sparked a huge outcry from animal lovers all over the world!
• The "Missing Day", a favourite among Christian churches bulletin. Here's a link to the message. Well, eventhough some may view this article as inspiring, it is not founded in truth, and therefore should not be circulated.

There are probably more false e-mails out there that I've read, but the above mentioned are the ones that I still remembered clearly now. Well, there's also the many variation of pls-forward-this-message-so-that-this-little-girl-can-receive-donations-from-some-big-company-to-help-her-out-in-her-surgery message, but I'm still a bit stupefied by how brainless some people can be by believing all those lies... Then again, they forwarded them out of sympathy, so I can't really blame them right?

But anyway, click here for a funny (but beware of FOUL languages!!!) post on that particular type of forwarded mail... I really love it! Lol...

Remember guys! Do some research before you forwarded e-mails, espeacially those that seems illogical or slanderous! >=)

HOLIDAY'S END

So it finally ends... Yay! Can't wait for sem 2 to begin!!! Man I'm SO excited... Alright now, really need to pack my stuff and leave for vista already... It's 9.30pm already and I still need to take a bath b4 I go back to Bukit Jalil! Lol...

PARTY AT MATT'S PLACE

Man... The last 12 hours at Matt's place (11am to 11pm) is awesome! The food is excellent (thx a lot to Matt's parents and uncle!), and we're having fun whole day long! It does get a bit tiring by the end of the day, but it was cool! Too bad not all SOS members were there though... that would have been so much fun! But I'm really glad that Iona did make it in the end... So my optimism yesterday wasn't unfounded at all!

Tried to introduce the people there to the Cluedo boardgame... Wasn't very successful though, due to a blunder by Boon Hui and an all-too-impossible lucky guess by me in the 2nd game: I got all 3 murderer, murder weapon and scene of murder at my very 1st suggestion! I mean, wat are the odds man?! Tim, Boon Hui and Lilian are fed up with the game... Man... Nvm, I'll try it again another time!

Also, imagine my surprise when I actually receive a present during my friend's birthday! Seems that the guys have bought the gift a long time ago but have yet to pass it to me until now! I was really thrilled when I opened the present after I returned home. The 1st item that I've taken out was Akira!!! Man I've longed to watch that anime! Many ppl called it the best anime ever made! But there's more! There's another dvd in the present paper, and after much struggle, I finally succeeded in removing it... Ghost in the Shell!

It was then that I go... "ooops..." I called Matt up right away, thanking him (along with Iona, King and Lilian) for the present, and asked him when they bought it. They told me it was b4 my birthday, which makes sense... Bcuz I've told Matt and Iona that I've downloaded Ghost in the Shell a couple of weeks ago! Hahahaha... They should have told me or hint me or something la... But since the downloaded version is dubbed, I guess I can now watch the subbed version, which is good too! Lol. Thanks Iona, Lilian, King and Matt!!! This is one of the best birthday presents I've ever received! >=)

After I came home, got some pretty good news along with the sad ones... Well, some of my batchmates have passed their resits, while others didn't... Sigh, really dunno wat to feel... Well, all the best to them in deciding wat to do next! And for those that passed, congrats!!! Will be seeing u guys next Monday!

SMILE!

^___^ you're the only one who's really made me smile so far

thank you ^___^

Yay! I've made a person smile! Woohoo!!! These kinda things happen so rarely in my life that I really enjoy every single one of them!

Now let's juz hope things turn out as smoothly as I hope it will... Gotta pray hard tonight! >=)

Oh and check out Azzedin's blog! The layout is really cool man! Well, at least for a Xanga blog! Lol... I wonder if he made the layout by himself or edited it from a template... Hmmmm...

花樣年華 IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE

Having read lots of movie reviews on Zhang Yimou's Hero lately, I can't help but noticed that a lot of the critics mentioned Christopher Doyle and Wong Kar-wai in their reviews (along with Roshamon by the late Akira Kurosawa): Christopher Doyle is in charged of the photography of both movies, and Wong Kar-wai always showcases Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung in his movies (both stars are couples in Hero). Curious, I started checking out the reviews on In the Mood For Love by Leong Kar-wai, since I really like the on-screen chemistry of Tony and Maggie, and many critics have acclaimed In The Mood For Love to be one of Wong's best movie to date. Caught up with all the rave reviews by the critics (click here), I finally decided to bought the DVD at RM 19.90.

At first, I was really not used to the director's filming technic... The movie begins with fragments and pieces of scenes with the lead characters doing seemingly trivial things, like moving into their new home, buying noodles late at night at a dark dilapidated stall, going to work and talking to their boss etc. Nothing much seemed to happen in the 1st 30 minutes, and the soundtrack Yumeji's Theme kept on repeating throughout the movie gets a bit tiresome and annoying to me after awhile...

But after the 30 minutes mark, things begin to make sense. Both lead characters are new neighbours whose spouse have an affair with each other. In the wake of their discovery, both lead characters sought comfort among one another, when gradually their feelings for each other begin to blossom. But here's the twist. Both lead characters are ppl with a high moral standard, and both vowed that they won't be like their cheating spouses. And thus as much as they both feel for one another, they both restrained themselves so much that u can almost feel the electric sparked between them whenever they meet...

I love the movie for its concept of restrained love and the "could-have-beens"... The movie is really sad and tragic, and it's wonderful to see how much emotions can be conveyed eventhough there's so much restaints from both characters. However, many ppl will have probably been turned off by the movie for it slow pacing. Also, to different people, it may seemed that nothing happen much during the entire length of the movie, or so much has happened that one can't help but feel smoldered by the loneliness and longing of the lead characters for one another. The lead characters also role-played each others cheating spouses as well, and it's really interesting (albeit slighly confusing) to watch how they "rehearse" the scenes where they confronted their own spouse of having an affair. Of cuz, both are too bottled up to do so in real life!

Another thing worth mentioning is the look of the whole movie, which really brings out the mood of being lonely and the longing to be love at a 60's Hong Kong. I'll let the gorgeous movie stills do the talking for this part. Pay attention to the colours and textures! Not to mention the elegant cheongsams!

The soundtrack is good too, although many may not like its repetitiveness. I started off getting annoyed by Yumeji's Theme, but by the end of the movie, I fell in love with it. The song brings out all the unsaid feelings of both lead characters, and Nat King Cole's songs really works in bringing about the atmosphere too. I really really like the ending, although it is definitely not ur typical romance film ending. It's almost... philosophical.

It's sad that although Wong Kar-wai is famous in the international arena, he's not very well known among Asians... The same goes for Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon by Ang Lee. I'm a big fan of the movie, and the Westerners are crazy about it... And here? Many ppl actually sez it's boring and awful... I'm really perplexed by it... That said, In The Mood For Love is the most beautiful film I've ever seen. I'm going to look for the other films by Wong Kar-wai, and also looking forward to his much-talked-about new sci-fi movie, 2046!

And guys, check out Yumeji's Theme! A lovely sad piece!

FRANK THOUGHTS

Juz posted a LONG comment on Yee Pei's blog on the overall impression of Orientation M2/04. Since I've spend so much time writing down the comment, I figured I might as well post it in my blog as well. Here goes:

I dun think Treasure Hunt is "moderately" messed up. Eventhough I'm not an OO or SM, I was always with Group 9 when they go from station to station. The group was unhappy and frustrated over all the mistakes that forced us to run around the same places over and over again. Thaven's group was also very frustrated over the unfairness of the go-back-to-IMU-bcuz-it's-raining thing. Some of the groups continue on, and that gave them an unfair advantage.

Also, on Variety Night, the IMCCs ARE perverted man. IMHO, I think it's actually MORE perverted than the ones in our batch. I'm most disappointed at the questions for the IMCC. They're so explicit that the only answers they can give have to be sexual ones, and not to mention all the "show-us-how" stuff after they answered the questions... Damn sick. One of the juniors in group 9 sez it an eyesore and avoided watching the performances altogether!

Oh and another thing, I really really HATED that flying newspaper thing. Although some of their performances really suck, but do u guys think of their feelings when they've done their best preparing so much juz to get boo by the crowd? And I will personally like to strangle the one who shout to group 9 about walking faster in their South Park sketch. I can see that the idiot has no idea at all wat South Park is, and so do most of the crowd. Oh and someone pls shut that idiot LT up! He's an embarassment to us all!

And for Telematch, it's a good thing that u guys have made a trip back to IMU to check if all the juniors have arrived. But still, I think it's a big mistake to not have at least a committee member at IMU to direct or guide the juniors to reach the field, since most of them are a bit lost there, waiting. In the end, it was Chik Ian and another guy that helped us out!

As for Ice Breaker and BBQ Nite, I can't say much bcuz I'm not present then. The dresscode was quite impressive, and I really like the crativity of the new batch. But I really think the guys in cheongsams are cool la... Seriously, and that's not juz from me... Eerily, some guys actually look right in cheongsams! >=)

Whoa, soree for the long comment ya. Oh soree if I sound critical, but these are my honest thoughts about the orientation. Hope u dun get offended!

CATAN 1ST VICTORY!

I finally got my 1st victory of Catan after about 30 or so games of it! Well, wasn't really satisfied with my 1st victory yesterday, since I actually continue playing 2 rounds AFTER I've won, eventhough Matt has been trying to hint me by constantly reminding me how super BLUR I am... So, instead of:

And for my last move, I'll trade 3 ore and 2 grain for an upgrade of my settlement to a city. I'll now reveal my D-cards, and I got 2 victory points for having the largest army. Ladies and gentleman, I win this game!

This is how I won the game:

Hold on a second, let me count my victory points. Let's see: I have the largest army, which is 2 points, 3 cities, which is 2 points each, and 2 settlements... Huh?! I got 10 victory points already! Guys, I've won the game since 2 rounds ago!!! (Matt's endless hurling of insults continues in the background)

Man that was embarassing... So I vow to make my next victory an impressive 1... And guess wat? I win again today! Yay! Finally I know how I can stand a better chance of winning - try not to listen to Matt's "expert advice"!!! He kinda despices me for my lack of logic when I make my moves, but in my opinion, he's too blinded by his logic thinking to see the other equally important factor in the game: Chance. Granted, the probability of getting a 6 with two dices is theoretically higher than getting a 2, but in reality, things dun juz work as perfectly as the theory dictates. I actually seen much more 2's thrown than 6's in one of the games!

I'm not saying that the rules of probability makes no sense at all, juz that it is impossible to predict a pattern when randomness is involved. Therefore, Matt's strategy of productivity 1st, diversity 2nd is not the ONLY right and logical strategy for the game. I go for diversity 1st and productivity 2nd, so that I can control as many different numbers as possible, instead of getting the numbers with the highest probabilities. Which explains why I got tons of resources in my 2nd game, since no matter wat number is rolled by the dices, I almost always get something!

Matt did get something right though... I am really BLUR at times!!! Well, make that most of the time... Lol!