Monday, September 08, 2003

SO IT ENDS...

Juz finished watching the final episode of Taken... Well, wat could I say? Quite good series overall, and a very emotional climax... But in trems of idea? Too too simple... Heck, even I can come up with an idea like that!!! Aliens who share similar DNA to humans, but highly evolved (Take it as a fiction, ok? I noe there ain't no evolution... MACROevolution, that is!), having no concience and emotions, but a singularity, a oneness among themselves... They ability to feel and knowing good n evil has gone as they evolved (stupid idea, by the way), and the meeting with humans stirs up their dormant conscience and emotion, thus started a grand experiment, in hope of merging the advanced intellect and mind power of the aliens and the conscience/ emotions of humans... Thus Allie was "produced", through 3 generation of genetic selection (i.e. selective mating... Think wat Gregory Mendel did to the peas... Wat we learn in Bio during form 5) Quite a simple idea and story, but under the helm of the legendary Steven Spielberg, I must comment that the movie is well done.

But wat really strike me in the series is the final "conversation" between Dr. Wakeman and Mary Crawford... Can't believe Dr. Wakeman is my favourite character in the series, even more than Allie!!! He was kinda like a villain character in the beginning... But as the series progress, we slowly understand more n more about him... All he wants is juz witness the historical event of Allie, not trying to stop the aliens like Mary... Mary has this obsession to get Allie in wateva means, bcos she felt she has the responsibility of handling her legacy from her grandfather well... The two of them are lovers, but Mary kill Dr. Wakeman in the end, bcos she is unable to LET GO... Unlike Dr. Wakeman who juz wanna be a spectator, she wanted to be the hunter, the superior... The "conversation" was actually a recorded playing of Dr. Wakeman made b4 he died! He's already expected he will be killed by Mary!! It's a very sad scene... "We could have been happy together, I know that... If only you would LET GO... I know you loved me..." Sigh... So Mary finally learn her lesson... After much grief...

I was reminded of many characters then who suffered similar fate with Mary... Xar from The Death Gate Cycle, Gollum from The Lord of the Rings, Pharaoh in Exodus of the Bible, and even Darth Vader in Star Wars... Xar could have save his ppl if he would gave up his power crazy ambition. Gollum could have redeemed himself if he would to forget about the Ring. Pharaoh could have prevent much grief to Egypt if he would to let the Israelites go free. And Darth Vader could have survived if he let go the hatred and anger in him before he brought Luke to the Emperor... And so, it comes down to me again...

Shouldn't I let go all that I'm striving for? I'm so weary, so so weary of it, but why do I still keep on hanging to it? Many times I've been touched by the Holy Spirit, begging me, begging myself, to let go of my vain attempt to be the best, to achieve... something, anything!!! But I juz keep on with my old ways... I know I shouldn't go on like this, but still I drive on, moved by nothing... There were moments when I juz dun understand why I keep on behaving like this since I know I should not... But I do understand actually... I lack support... I really do appreciate supportive friends with me, ppl who could assist me when I'm in need of help... But I can find none at college, where I spent most of my time (excluding my home) at... The only one that is really surportive of me is rarely by my side, and I could only meet him once in a while... Sigh... It's hard to do this alone... Well, I'm not alone actually, for God is with me... But I do appreciate a human companion, one that will serve as a constant reminder... I haven't found one yet... Sigh... But I do sincerely hope all of this will ends... I dowan to rely on myself any longer... Must... depend... on... God...

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